Do you have a hard time, going back to your old ways?

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I find that I have a very hard time. I've gotten used to being out with my friends, every night, over the past 12 months. I feel funny if I stay home, even if I'm sick.

Every time I decide to use a Routemaster for an avatar for the day, It's only a matter of minutes, before I switch back to Sid. I guess that the memories of Decembers 2005 and 2006 make me feel uneasy, especially the December of 2006.

I'll try to go Mod for a day, just to change into blue jeans and a T-Shirt and spike my hair, 20 minutes, later.

I can't seem to go back to a more innocent time, in my life. It doesn't bother me that much. I just can't seem to show people a more innocent side of me, since last year, around this time, when I've put my Swinging 60s lifestyle behind me.

I'm very, very happy as I am, right now.

The question is, why am I so afraid to go back to my Mod days, for a formal occasion, like an Easter Dinner or a Christmas Party at my Clubhouse, for just one day, or night?

well i dont go out with friends every night lol
but i get what you mean i guess
I hated what i used to be like
i used to have terrible self esteem for instence. every day. Now im prety much happy. but i do get blows of bad self esteem occasionaly. but id never go back to how i used to be

Sounds familiar. I try new things (different hairstyle, different clothes) and it's usually a matter of minutes (or a VERY ucomfortable day) before I change back. Part of it is purely sensory; I get used to the way things feel, literally. The other part of it is that I find great comfort in sameness. I don't like change, even when I initiate it.

I'm embarrassed about some of the things I used to do. I used to play my favorite records over and over, but don't do that anymore, except for a Simon and Garfunkel tape in the car.

If I were the same way today as I was even in my 20s, I would never have been able to get a job or have friends.

There are routines I have become quite comfortable with, however: work in the daytime and staying at home in the company of my cats at night. I go out more than I did in my younger years, but somewhat less than I did ten years ago. I don't mind that.

I found it hard to go back to my old happy, fun, energetic, honest-about-myself, not-shy, confident, friendly, innocent days at first, but then I relaxed and struck a happy balance.