Seeking advice from parents of school aged children or ....

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I have posted this in the parents forum as well. I would actually appreciate advice from anyone that may have insite and be willing to share the information.

My daughter who is 14 years old was recently diagnosed with Asperger's. Four years ago she was diagnosed with ADD only. For the past 4 years she has been hospital homebound schooled because of severe anxiety attending school. It was her middle school that suggested that I go hospital homebound with her and it has worked out exceptionally well. She loves attending class via the telephone, loves the schedule and finally is getting great grades. However, I have had enormous pressure on me, by friends and family, to get her to attend regular school. Last year we tried a private school with a mixed class of 7th and 8th graders. There were only 7 children in the class and it was a Christian school. She was in 7th grade and was failing badly because of poor attendance. She was also bullied. I read the emails she recieved from other children. She was so sick most days because of high pulse rate that she could not go to school or if she did she ended up in the emergency room. I had to enroll her back in hospital homebound. She did great again and was promoted to the 8th grade.

We moved over the summer and she is in a new school state, and county, but I have enrolled her once again in the hospital homebound program. She is not going to school while I await an assessment meeting from hospital homebound. This worries me as she will have missed almost 2 weeks of school. This upsets her routine. She will not go into a regular school while awaiting the hospital homebound assessment. She almost passes out at the thought of it. My real dilemma is that my family believes that she will be attending a regular school which they insist she do for the purpose of socializing with other children her age. They refuse to believe she is anything but perfect by their definition. I agree with them in principal that she does need to socialize more even though she says she has no desire to but I can't force her to even under pressure. I was diagnosed AS after my daughter. I understand her lack of desire to 'hang out' with others. My family says it is because of me that she is not socializing, that I set a bad example. I hope that is not true but perhaps it is at least in part. I really do want her to have friends, and places to go, and things to do.

They say I should be strong and force her to go to school. Two years ago, and again last year, I had people help me physically carry her into school only later to be called to come get her a because she was not feeling well. I do know that if I can get her to try something for a while she can learn to like it. At first she was terrified to even call into hospital homebound classes but after she got used to it she loved it. NO ONE was allowed to disturb her while she was in class.
How do I convince my family that hospital homebound is the best option at this juncture for her while we work with a therapist on her social skills? They hate that I even take her to a therapist.

How do I get my family more supportive or at least less involved ?

How do I get more support so that I know that I am not in this alone and that I am in fact making the right decisions?

Does anyone else have a child/children that simply cannot attend regular school?

I would love to hear from you.
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I don't have experience with the hospital homebound situation, or a child who has school anxiety -- but I think that if your child has so much anxiety that you have to carry them into school, people should understand that this is a big deal. If a child is being bullied, then it's really awful to have to force your child to go to school. Nobody wants to see their child unhappy, and even though she may need socialization, if she's being bullied, she's not going to get proper socialization.

Through other homeschooling parents, you may be able to join a group that can help with socialization. This would be better than socialization at school, where her experience has been so negative. If you could give your family some literature about asperger's, then maybe they might be more understanding of the situation.

schleppenheimer,

Thank you for your reply. Just knowing that there are people such as yourself that understand and care helps tremendously. My family says the doctor's are all quacks and that the mental health system is a scam. They believe aspergers was just made up so the health community could make money off desperate people.

You have a great idea about contacting the other families in hospital homebound to see if they might be interested in some social events. That would be great! I just do not think of socializing myself.

Can you inform me about what hospital homebound schooling is?

buryuntime,

This link may help provide some answers for you: http://www.hospitalhome.ocps.net/

Every state is different, but all should have some program available for children that connect go to school temporarily due to a medical condition.

My state has an excellent program.

It is available in most places; I think that particular site was just one county's solution for children who can't go to school.

buryuntime,

I have PM'd you a link that may help.