I'm not sure about the depression. It could be, of course. It's one of many possibilities and lord knows we are prone enough to it for it to make sense.
Thing is, though, the OP is saying that he enjoys those things once he actually gets started on them, and while atypical depression can include mood reactivity like that, it would be more obvious if you out and out said "I can't enjoy anything"...
Another possibility to me is the simple inertia that comes with many sorts of executive dysfunction--the problem of not being able to "get started" on things. It comes from shifting from one task to another, from having difficulty with planning, from not being able to see in your head how you're going to do things before you do them, and consequently everything looking really very overwhelming to you, so you sit in your chair and just can't figure out how to get started. Maybe it's a touch of a catatonia-like trait, too, if part of the problem is either physically moving, or moving in a purposeful way instead of, for example, uselessly walking from room to room while trying to get started cleaning things.
I've got this particular problem, personally, which is what made me think of it (we are always trying to relate to each other here, aren't we?). It is still a problem. I take five or ten times as long as many people do to do rather simple things, and not because I'm incapable but because I've got trouble planning them. It's not a matter of intelligence, as I'm doing well in my college classes (though it does mean that two hours of homework turns into a day's job); just a matter of not really being able to plan very well. I have lately tended to approach it like yet another logical problem, and write down the plan explicitly so that I can follow it easily, and to make standard plans that would get me through things I needed to do often, like making lunch or cleaning the bathroom. It is easier to follow a pattern you have always followed than to make up an entirely new one.
You might, if you like being outdoors (I love this myself; it really is great for your mood, isn't it?), write down exactly what you had to do to get outdoors, in as much detail as you needed, and follow the list instead of trying to figure out what to do with just one big item like "go for a walk", you might have a checklist of things to do in order to do it--which clothes to wear, what to grab before you left, a reminder to lock the door before you went. I think this helps people with all sorts of problems with planning, not just autistics; children with attention-deficit should be taught it as a matter of course right along with reading and arithmetic...
03 Sep 2009, 10:34 am
