Asperger's? Only in my vocabulary for 3 days. Now what?

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I am 28 years old and just got the news. How can I find out for sure if I have Asperger's Syndrome? Does this mean my plans of taking over the world are really just fantasies? I often tell people that I was born rightside-up in an upside-down world, does this suggest Asperger's? I am not willing to give up the fact that this planet is wrong, humanity is wrong. Everyday I ask myself, "Is it me or is it everybody else?" I like to think that it is everybody else. In the past three days while trying diagnose myself, after just learning the term or condition, I have gotten the impression that Aspies differ greatly in their symptoms and abilities. I have read that Aspies have an average IQ. I have always tested above average and wonder if this means that I could not have Aspenger's Syndrome? When I read the postings on this sight I immediately assume that they were posted by people of superior intelligence. Are the people posting on this site as smart as I think or are they merely speaking my language? Sorry about all my random and poorly phrased questions but remeber this is all new to me. I think that I am anxious or perhaps excited, maybe relieved or just plain scared and uncertain. Asperger's Syndrome frightens me because I do not want to change or think for a moment that I may need help. My daily goal has been to win the battle over myself and achieve something great. I don't want that goal to be a personality disorder. I'll stop now.

Focused, I feel exactly the same as you and I couldn't word it better myself. I am 32 years old and I have come across AS a couple of weeks ago, partially by chance and partially by determination in looking for ideas that would help me reinvent my life and win the "war against myself". I was shocked by the existence of such a good description of my seemingly unique personality, and even more by the attached label of a "neurological disorder". Nevertheless, I have since read many posts on aspie forums and they led me to the unfamiliar notion that there may be other beings in this universe who think the way I do. That's why I am writing this. I am in awe of wisdom and insight that many of these posts reveal, some coming from very young people.

I never had my IQ measured, but many people consider me gifted (IMHO ) and I was flying through schools with excellent grades. I would like to add that I am reluctant in labeling myself. While AS hypothesis answers a lot of my questions, and generally matches my life, it also shatters the self-image that I have built over the years. I think that I will seek more information about myself, as time allows, and then decide whether to pursue medical diagnosis. I guess that there is no other way to be sure. But if it checks out, then I will no doubt try to "take over the world"! In my mind there is no greater advantage than being different.

Magic - NT (from planet Vulcan)

P.S. This is my first post on this forum and about AS. Please forgive any transgressions.

I hope that You figure out Wether your an Aspie. the aspie way of life is quit enjoyable I find.

Hi focused! I'm in just about the exact same boat as you - I am 30 and was diagnosed two weeks and two days ago now - and I was excited to find out but at the same time it was wierd . . . I have a long history of mental illness and I've been on meds for my bi-polar for a year now and its taken the edge off of it but not fixed it and I was getting really despondant about that so when a person I like to be around (I'm replacing the word 'friend' with this phrase) suggested that I might Asperger's I got tested, and, I'll be damned if that isn't what it is . . .

So I thought I'd be excited - and I was - but I was also VERY depressed for a few days and now I'm finding it amazingly hard to think and be social only because so much is going on in my head with integrating the fact that I'm AUTISTIC in with my other concepts of myself . . . but now I find it something that REALLY helps me understand my world - like Tuesday I took my truck into the shop and I mentioned that I really couldn't afford for it to break down becuase I didn't have a job (I got offered one that night) but the mechanic didn't want to look at it because it was raining and he couldn't listen for the noise it is making - and he kept saying 'But you can always just bring it back in because it is under warranty, so if it breaks down you won't even have to pay for the tow truck' and that started to make me angry because I'd driven all this way in the rain and now he wasn't even going to look at my truck - then I realized that what he was doing was reassuring me that I didn't have to worry about the money part of it since I was out of a job - and the only reason I went down that thought road is because I found out I have Asperger's - before I would have just gotten mad and either gotten a migraine or yelled at him . . .

So knowing is a good thing, but it is hard, too . . . like realizing that I can never have more than superficial relationships - that still hurts me a lot . . . but, at the same time, it explains why I've only had superficial relationships up to this point . . . but it still hurts to know - I went to see a few of the people I like to be around yesterday and was thinking that I enjoyed them, but still felt bad that I could never really be a friend to them
I've found spending excessive time on this board and aspergia and aspergersinfo helps, too - there are so many things I've posted that I had always thought were things I did because I was a bad person or a mentally ill person that it turns out lots of aspies do . . .

About the IQ thing - without sounding like I'm bragging on myself, because I'm not - I am certified to do IQ tests and I don't put a lot of stock in them - I have an extremely high IQ and when I went to get evaluated for Asperger's they asked if I'd had an IQ test and when I told her my numbers she said 'Oh - well, that makes sence since most people with Asperger's have very high IQs' - so I was thinking that high IQ was a trait of Asperger's . . . maybe what the source you were reading was saying was that, unlike a lot of other PDDs and traditional autism, people with Asperger's have a normal IQ (as opposed to a lower than normal IQ)

Good luck - really - I totally understand what you are going through because I'm going through it myself - I'm just two weeks ahead of you right now!

Thank-you for all your comments. At this time I still don't know what to think. I am going to continue to explore. I am going to wait before I respond to any comments because I feel like I may change my views at any moment. I would like to mention that I recently blew a hundred dollars at the bookstore purchasing Asperger's Literature. I was first given Tony Attwood's book for parents and teachers of children with... this is not the ideal resource for me so I intend to examine other literature. Thanks for the attention and I will continue to check for more follow ups.

And ALEX thank-you for taking the risk of being pretentious. I wanted to state my own IQ to get some accurate feedback but feared a negative backlash. I have learned that having or scoring a high IQ mostly means that you have a secret. Whatever IQ means or is, I have made it synonomous in my mind with the word different.

I forget what my IQ is (it's been so long since I took the test)ut I know it's at least 15 points lower than my dad's (he has an IQ of, like, 159 or somewhere around there) and I think it's kind of close to my mom's (130-something). My dad, who goes by the nickname "Gomez," is also diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

You did the same thing I did! I got something like $150 in books on aspergers and autism within two days of getting diagnosed - and I've read one and a half already . . . I have mixed reactions to what I'm reading - on the one hand I think 'Wow someone else felt that, too . . .' but then I also think 'Oh my God, this person could be describing me instead of themeselves . . .'
Today, for example, I'm very depressed and I'm online because I want to talk to someone about that - so get ready for a big long new topic message . . .

Hi Everyone

I think it prudent to suggest that a thread be established for "bitter losers"! It is unfair to accuse someone of being pretentious for stating their IQ scores - afterall, it relates directly to the thread topic. I don't think this thread was intended for an inadequate twat to attack people with something of worth to contribute. Might I suggest that Mensa may have presented you with a higher membership fee because of your obvious attitude problems.

I apologise for hijacking this topic - I'll be quiet now! Some work places have Organisational Psychology Departments - they would be able to refer you to a Clinical Psychologist for assessment - Good luck mate.

I'm also worried as I've just dicovered that There's Something about Mary - Alex might you help me

My full-scale IQ has been tested at 116; however, my verbal IQ is 134 whereas my performance (nonverbal) IQ is only 94. Apparently, this is indicative of severe Asperger's syndrome or at least severe nonverbal learning disorder. The result of this discrepancy is that, in verbal-intensive activities, I can seem to be very intelligent, and I guess we all know the flip side of the coin.

Of course, some aspects of Asperger's syndrome and autism do not fit me exactly, but I guess it's the same for all of us. It's certainly true that I have experienced the world as a very lonely place, and being aware of some of the difficulties that are neurologically based is sometimes a comforting thought and often a very depressing thought.

Anyway, I'm rambling on; I guess I've depressed myself again.

I don't think anyone should have to be embarassed to be smart -- or anything else they're good at, for that matter. Enough people are too down and harsh on themselves and each other. Let us celebrate our accomplishments and those of each other, and this way we build the whole community up

On the IQ issue, I read this thread with interest. MANY Aspies have non-verbal learning disabilities----a large discrepancy between verbal and performance IQs. My verbal IQ is 120, which isn't a genuis, but isn't bad. My PERFORMANCE IQ is 85!! !! ! I can literally write a novel, and have many times, but can't do factory work because anything visual or spatial confuses me. We are oddballs...oh, I should only speak for myself...lol.

Wow! I just read your IQs. You are a lot like me. People hear me talk and think, "Wow! She is SMART!" Then they see me struggle to knit one stitch and they think, "WHy doesn't she get it? She ret*d?" Maybe we can "talk" or e-mail one day. Glad to have met you all.

I probably have the lowest IQ here My Performance IQ is 83! My Verbal IQ is 111. If you want to find out the full scale IQ, do the math!
I think that the Performance IQ reflects how I'm not good at math. The Verbal IQ shows how good, I am at expressing myself by writing. My speech doesn't reflect my intelligence though people tend to think that there is something mentally ill about me when I speak.
Can somebody explain what a low Performance IQ and a high Verbal IQ means? As in what does it say about a person?