Does your social ineptness make you feel like a jerk?

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I don't look like the stereotypical white collar guy, my social skills are lower than those of most blue collar guys, and I don't exactly have a very friendly demeanor. Naturally, people treat me like a jerk. Sometimes I feel guilty for being the way I am, and I have a hard time not believing that I am a jerk.

White collar?
Blue Collar?

I thought dogs wore collars.

No, not really...no.

Edit: Does that make me a jerk?

Last edited by SilverProteus on 18 Feb 2008, 5:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hmm, yeah now that I think of it. I consider myself a very, very kindhearted and empathetic person. Yet something about my obsessive tendencies and the way I talk make people think I'm a jerk, which sucks.

A jerk is as a jerk does. Or not?

I have been accused of being a jerk, possibly because I was inadvertently being one. I've also been accused of being not enough of a jerk, possibly because I was being too tolerant and nice. The truth is actually somewhere not far from me being a jerk and too nice and much more than that. I am as constant as the northern star, which is actually a population I Cepheid variable.

People do not know what they want; consequently, I often try to give them everything in a shotgun effect. Some people smile and laugh, while others cry or yell; it is all very confusing.

Good fortune,

- Icarus is the nicest jerk on the planet...

Actually, is a way of describing skill level.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-collar_worker

I've long had the idea that aspies are more honest and giving than the average person, but come across as jerks because of our obliviousness, which is quite unfair.

Looking back at some of my actions throughout my life though, I've recently recalled some things that were inexcusably jerkish, including almost killing a fellow boy scout, comtamination of food at an employer, and really hurting the feelings of the handfull of girls who were interested in me.

In my retail job, I routinely creep people out by being too nice and not knowing when to quit helping, betraying that I have nothing to do.

I'm so glad you asked. Since I'm female I think there's another word that's not jerk. But I'm not that word; I'm actually very sweet. Really. Just ask me. However, that being said, last week I left a note on my ex-doctor's door, which might qualify for this post. I'll 'copy & paste' below. Please note, for ambience, I watermarked this note with the sublte gray message: SUBLIMINAL. Then, near the end of the page, which you cannot see here, I inserted a pic of a red voodoo doll with a hand inserting another needle. Above this pic I printed "For your pleasure. I know you like it."

So...does this qualify? I had already fired my doctor, so it's ok. Dr. had his 'out to lunch' sign on his door so I clipped this on, which the letter I stated below. Evil, yes? Here's the note (directly):



Good morning Dean. Gentle reminder: I noticed you have not yet submitted my ADA accommodations list to UAF. As to why you cannot – unknown and irrelevant. I suspect related to your inability to separate your thought from emotion (hate that NT trait). Or procrastination. Or you’re dead and I haven’t noticed yet. In any case, get over it and submit that list, Virgo. Seriously, I am not at all upset with you and I never have been. You’re basically a non-entity for me. But please summon your motivation, do your job, and submit that list. Oh, I included a letter to Birch to share with you. Secretly I know you like those. You are mentioned – please read (don’t miss the footnote). Nothing inflammatory or inappropriate, if that is in fact a concern for you – not my way. Personally, If I were you, which I’m not (thank God minus the religious aspect), I would like to know why I fired you so you can know for future reference, yes? Now go do your paperwork. Comply. Thank you. The Lab Pet.

The beauty of social ineptness. I have a ready excuse, "I'm autistic."

I am going to that special hell.

I feel like a jerk and sometimes get treated like one. I think people perceive me as standoffish. I've never successfully caried a conversation with a group of people. If it's about a topic that I know about then I do. Some of the things I've done to people trying to make friends with me were pretty rotten. I would tell them that I'd call them back and never did. I also had some friends who wanted to hang out with me, but I would try to find ways to avoid it. I guess you could say I'm somewhat of a jerk but not out of meaness. I also have after this was brought to my attention, an unfriendly tone to my voice when greeting people. Yep, it's probably related to Asperger's.

Doesn't make me feel like a jerk. Doesn't mean that I'm not one! My body language, my eye contact, my speaking style, tone of voice - it's all been said to be aggressive and unkind. Go figure.

Who knows even? Is there a difference between being a jerk and acting like a jerk and coming off as a jerk? A jerk iff you do those things I do - what does my intention mean? Is the lack of the "good" intention not in itself enough?

Icarus_Falling : Polaris is a cepheid variable Learn something new every day!

Last edited by twoshots on 18 Feb 2008, 10:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd rather be considered a jerk, than to kiss everybody's asses, for the rest of my life. I've wasted entirely too much time, trying to make everyone else happy. It's my turn now.

Just bringing the heights of social ineptness to a new standard of low.

PsyD does not love the Lab Pet.........ADA, where's my fainting couch?

My/our 'disorder' is just a form of entropy.

I once burned the side of my hand with concentrated sulfuric acid, just to see the effects; everyone should experience a chemical burn in their lifetime, I think (and an electrical burn); lye is so trite, blasé; acid seemed the way to go, and sulfuric acid is rather reminiscent of brimstone, and the special hell from whence it comes. The burn was not bad, just turned a putrid and vivid shade of about 6050 angstroms, and faded over the course of a couple of weeks. It did not really hurt, but it was sore to the touch for a few days. Been there?



I also happened to learn last night that gila monsters excrete venom from their lower jaw; I found that insight fascinating. And gila monsters are a peculiar shade of yellow in places.



Coincidence?

I knew The Lap Pet is playful and brilliant; a dichotomy of childlike simple and fractal complexity; well mannered, but with a mischievous streak which may be (mistaken for?) evil; I even knew she had fangs. But venom? I did not suspect that The Lab Pet was a venomous creature. This suggests an entirely new line of investigation: autistic venom; the venom of entropy. Maddening neurotoxin? Paralytic agent? Digestive enzyme? Acidic sting? Chemistry and neuroscience; I detect a singular doctoral thesis in the making. History waiting to happen.

I am intrigued, conflicted; you scare me but I want to provoke you, want you to bite me just so I can see how the venom works.

Just a nibble? I drank the water of life; I will survive.

I envy the spider on Dean's wall.

I found your venom so intriguing that I shared it with a “neurotpyical” female friend. Her analysis:


Apparently The Lab Pet has fans in hitherto unforeseen places. Imagine that.

Good fortune,

- Icarus wonders what else LabPet secretly knows...

Lab Pet is flattered. Soooo, my ex-PsyD doesn't like me (hurt feelings), but Wrong Planet inhabitants and like-minded beings might




How come ADA didn't give me that fainting couch for my laboratory? Sigh.

I try to do nice things, but the jerk-ish things I do are usually the ones I don't mean to do at all. Or I don't even realize I'm doing. I generally treat people well, but I have a hard time consoling people if they're upset or keeping up my end of small talk, which can make me feel like a jerk.