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ThisIsNotMyRealName
Snowy Owl
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02 Jan 2009, 10:34 am

Exuberance !

Having diminished awareness of the world, means that Aspies aren't weighed down by the same sense of burden that afflicts NT's - who typically display more mature, less exuberant mindsets/behaviours.

Call it youthful exuberance, if you will - a kind of ignorance is bliss type of thing.



sunshower
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02 Jan 2009, 10:41 am

I entirely agree :)


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ThisIsNotMyRealName
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02 Jan 2009, 10:55 am

sunshower wrote:
I entirely agree :)

So do I. :D

Hold on ... it was me that wrote it. :roll:

;)



anna-banana
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02 Jan 2009, 11:02 am

I wouldn't call it ignorance in my case, I just don't care and that makes me happy.


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TheMaverick
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02 Jan 2009, 12:20 pm

i think you're trying to make a silk purse out of a sows ear, so to speak.
the only useful aspie trait is heightened intellegence and an ability to accurately analise things.
of cousre that doesnt include other peoples signals n s**t



Mysty
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02 Jan 2009, 12:43 pm

Useful? I think it's a good trait, but I really don't see it as useful. Useful in what way?



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02 Jan 2009, 12:48 pm

TheMaverick wrote:
the only useful aspie trait is heightened intellegence and an ability to accurately analise things.


Hyper focus and innocence are good too. All our traits have an up side and a down side to them. The fact that I discovered the pecking order in my forties, for example, made me have a much richer and more interesting life than most people, because I had experiences that others didn't even think about going there.


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Prof_Pretorius
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02 Jan 2009, 1:18 pm

Greentea wrote:
TheMaverick wrote:
the only useful aspie trait is heightened intellegence and an ability to accurately analise things.


Hyper focus and innocence are good too. All our traits have an up side and a down side to them.


I agree, the ASpic life is a series of dicoveries. The challenge is to use the traits we have to our advantage, and minimize (as much as possible) the 'down side'.

"If only you would use your powers for good."


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Greentea
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02 Jan 2009, 2:20 pm

We can't have the cake and eat it too. You're either relations-clueless or you're not. We can't control how our Aspieness will make things turn out. Eg: I had a boyfriend once whom all my friends had shown no interest in flirting with because they were aware how very out of their league he was. He was indeed a very special person and astoundingly good-looking. I, being relations clueless as usual, didn't catch he was out of my league and enjoyed a wonderful 2 years with him. I never saw another man as good-looking as him outside a movie screen. People would turn around to look at him on the street and at places we went to.


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WurdBendur
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02 Jan 2009, 3:20 pm

This is not the case for me. I'm very reserved, though I think the opposite would be more beneficial.


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millie
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02 Jan 2009, 3:33 pm

i don' thave diminished awareness of the world - if anything, my relentless analysis results in the opposite!

However, i do have a childish innocence and an exuberance that knows no bounds on occasions. i get filled with fervour for my passions and special interests and that is one of the best things about not being able to regulate my emotions. (as I've stated many times in other posts, the more subtle emotions escape me.)

and i agree. it is absolutley wonderful.

the down side is the other extreme -the meltdowns.

i do think thisisnotmyrealname is right. and i am glad to see a post that isn't all bloody doom and gloom and filled with the usual "this is what is wrong with me" garbage. that is great at times and needed, so that we can identify with one another.

BUt...3 cheers for positive threads.


as for being relationships clueless and the black and white thinking that says you either are or you are not- --well... i do not agree with greentea. NOT my experience at all.

i was completely relationships clueless when i was young. it was hell. I did not understand what was going on around me at all. Not at all. i still struggle at times and on many days i cannot cope with people, but i have improved a lot because i have put an enormous amount of work into cognitive therapy and social skills training. I have learned many things, and while i have to put in more effort to cope with relationships than others, i can do it and i am proud of my achievements and my capacity and my willingness to learn and to grow - as any human being might - AS or NT.
i'm not interested in being a victim in my attitudes. I find groups hard. i do not go out much. i prefer one on one. complex exchanges are difficult when it involves a number of people. BUT i have the willingness to learn. I have learned and i think positivity and really uplifting thread topics like this one should be applauded.

IT's well known that people with AS can and do improve over time. it doesn't mean losing one's "aspieness." i am not a "curebie." It simply means that later in life because of life experience and exposure to many situations, one has more skills than earlier on in life. Some - not all - but some of the older aspies will be able to attest to similar experience.

I just never want my AS to be used as an embittered excuse, or a kind of resentful and black and white label that does nothing to serve me and can in fact appeal to that more negative side of me that wants to wallow in the "woah is me...i have AS."

speaking for myself, here. rant is now over. :lol:



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02 Jan 2009, 5:54 pm

ThisIsNotMyRealName wrote:
Having diminished awareness of the world, means that Aspies aren't weighed down by the same sense of burden that afflicts NT's - who typically display more mature, less exuberant mindsets/behaviours.


I don't know.
I sometimes feel like I'm too aware of the world and what human beings do to each other on a daily basis. It sometimes gets depressing.

I've been force fed a lot of stuff through education and preparing for exams.

The more I was force fed and the more people planted social and other expectations on me, the less exuberant I felt.

I've been called both mature and socially naive.
Now I really don't know what to think.
I definitely need to be more exuberant and fearless like I was in past.



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02 Jan 2009, 6:10 pm

Greentea wrote:
We can't have the cake and eat it too. You're either relations-clueless or you're not. We can't control how our Aspieness will make things turn out. Eg: I had a boyfriend once whom all my friends had shown no interest in flirting with because they were aware how very out of their league he was. He was indeed a very special person and astoundingly good-looking. I, being relations clueless as usual, didn't catch he was out of my league and enjoyed a wonderful 2 years with him. I never saw another man as good-looking as him outside a movie screen. People would turn around to look at him on the street and at places we went to.


I totally get this. Because I don't tend to notice, or just completely ignore social hierarchies, I have friends from just about every rung of the ladder. A lot of people don't get this, and some people (like my brother, whom I have determined is relatively high up on this invisible and seemingly highly pointless ladder), disapprove of some of my friends because they are "below" me on the ladder. I make friends with the people I like and find interesting, and I don't give a crap if they're supposedly to "uncool" or too "cool" for me to socialize with. The whole thing is ridiculous.


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02 Jan 2009, 7:33 pm

Greentea wrote:
We can't have the cake and eat it too. You're either relations-clueless or you're not. We can't control how our Aspieness will make things turn out. Eg: I had a boyfriend once whom all my friends had shown no interest in flirting with because they were aware how very out of their league he was. He was indeed a very special person and astoundingly good-looking. I, being relations clueless as usual, didn't catch he was out of my league and enjoyed a wonderful 2 years with him. I never saw another man as good-looking as him outside a movie screen. People would turn around to look at him on the street and at places we went to.


Greentea

Can you please explain the logic of Have the cake and eat it too? How do NTs make the jump from this phrase to having everything thing you want and more? I understand what NTs are saying but I do not comprehend the leap that they make. In my mind, if I have cake in front of me why wouldn't I eat it? To me, their logic makes no sense but I just grin and bare it and pretend to understand it.



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02 Jan 2009, 10:01 pm

anna-banana wrote:
I wouldn't call it ignorance in my case, I just don't care and that makes me happy.


I completely agree, I am able to push anything to the back of my mind and just focus on the things that matter in my life..... Too bad the only thing that matters right now is finding someone to fill this lonelyness I have....



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03 Jan 2009, 6:03 am

cube, the grammar of the metaphor has been simplified for "everyday use". The correct wording would have to be: "You can't both have eaten your cake and still have it whole". In my native language (Spanish) we say: "You can't both have your pig whole and the coins in your hand", meaning you can either keep your pig intact or break it to get the coins inside. These metaphors are used to convey those situations that are either-or, where choosing one cancels out the other automatically. We could also say: "You can't both have rain and dry fields." or "You can't have a lit match inside a pail full of water" or whatever you choose...

Now regarding the application of the metaphor: what is meant is not that you can't have everything you want and more. What is meant is that in certain situations, you can't have both situations happening at once. Some people choose one course of action, then complain they didn't get the results of the opposite course of action. This is when others tell them "You can't have the cake and eat it". Eg: you can't both devote every single minute of your work time to your family and home, and become a renowned Science Professor at the same time.

What I meant in my post above is that you can't both be socially lacking in intuition and at the same time have so much social intuition to know when to use your lack of it to your advantage.


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