Tried explaining, and it didn't work

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I was trying to watch something on a website, and suddenly a former friend of mine sent me a Facebook message asking "you don't talk to me anymore, what's up with that?"

I decided to be honest, and explain to her that after a situation that had developed, I thought she'd lied to me about something, and I found it hurtful and betraying.

I told her I also realized her life was getting busy in her new home as I hadn't heard much from her beyond that point; I mentioned that it's ok....we all get busier with our lives.


Think she took it well?

So ya lie, they get pissed at ya. You tell the truth, and try to be as nice in the explanation as possible, they get pissed at ya.

This is one o' dem things about people I'll never understand...

with exception of those I trust and care about even
those that I care about a little bit:

I don't bother, I just blurt it out,
I still try to be nice, but it is all I can do.

I don't like facebook people very much,
exceptions apply.

Like people say "Honesty hurts" or "the truth hurts."

People can expect honesty and still get hurt by it because they didn't like your thought or idea and had no idea you thought that of them. If it bothered her so much, she could have replied back apologizing for making you feel that way and tell her side of the story. That I won't understand why people don't do that. Did she even reply back?

Well, I noticed once a while back that someone here mentioned half the things about NTs that disgust us they don't even see as that major, and half the time even forget about it cause to them it wasn't that big.

Her response was 'HUH?"

Then she must've gone off or something, and I went off Facebook, as I was actually watching something on another website.

When I came back, I saw she'd tried coming back, or something, but not totally sure.

Apparently, the incident in question she didn't even remember. I remember it because it was culminating after so much else had built up to it.

What happened was for the longest time she basically claimed she agreed with all my ideas about giving it your all, not blaming the world for your problems, doing whatever one could to make it, and a million other things...then she lost her job, and started complaining it was everyone else's fault...then when I tried to help her, she threw it in my face & said she never believed a word of it. My best friend--who also knows her--said she's known for that.

So basically, they'll do things to insult our intelligence, lie to us, betray us, stab us in the back..but none of those are severe enough for us to question their friendship?

I mean...do they have to freakin' threaten to rape somebody or something to finally be considered "no longer friend worthy" territory?

I'm beginning to think most humans are just willing to accept way too much crap, then when they get to that point of no return, they wonder how they even got there to begin with.

Well people do move on and forget about incidents. I know I have forgotten about things. I see it as a good thing. Then I get annoyed when people try and shove it in my face holding it against me still. I have always said sorry even if I didn't remember just so they feel better and move on.


I once found one of my old online friends on my block list and I wondered how did his sn get there so I took it off. I don't know if we had some incident between us and I had one of my episodes by hitting the button and then I forgot about it or I accidently hit the button and didn't know it. I will never know for sure. We lost contact. I did ask him at the other forum why don't we talk anymore and he never responded so I don't know then.

I have gotten mad at my buddies in the past and I'd block them and then unblock them. We get into arguments or they be bugging me about something and I'd block them for temporary so I could cool off. I have even logged off too so I could cool off.

You shouldn't just take her immediate response and then conclude "it didn't work". Often times, if you explain something difficult to someone, they are going to resist and respond negatively to it at first, but then after that, things settle down and your words sink in and people make up. But do you really want to go through that process?

Don't beat yourself thinking that if you say just the right thing the right way things are always going to be rainbows and roses. I don't mean to draw too much of a paralell, but it's like a battered spouse blaming themself for their partners' abusive behavior.

after a while though, I just sort of move on from people once these incidents occur.....because I see it as I have better things to do with my life.

That was another reason she and I stopped talking; I realized she was busy with her life, and I was busy with mine.

Now, had she asked me "it's been a while since I've heard from ya?"

That would've been different. Instead I got "you don't talk to me anymore; what's up with that?"