I'm NOT evil

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I was just thinking about what my mother said about me the other day. She was saying to my grandmother how if she (my grandmother) was laying down and couldn't get up, she shouldn't expect me to come help because I'd probably just be standing there staring at her and laughing. They were laughing about it, but my mom has said stuff like this before about me and I guess it surprised me a little that it hurt just a bit that my family thinks of me like this evil person. I guess it's true I'm not the most caring person in the world, but I'm NOT evil . I'm pretty sure I wouldn't laugh.

have yu ever confronted her about this?

That's not a nice thing to say, no matter how it's said (lighthearted or serious).

Sure, people with an ASD aren't exactly the most empathetic people in the world, nor do we show much overt emotion to people (I'm speaking really generally here); Asperger's and autism doesn't denote a lack of care and compassion. Just because one doesn't show it in a "social way" doesn't mean we don't feel it and care.

I'll feel nothing for a dying child that I'm not emotionally connected to, but if it's an emergency situation, I'll do my best to save the life of that child. I'll help and comfort those who need helping and comfort for I'm a...human like the rest of humanity, I may not feel anything other than sadness for the stupidity of life, the pointlessness of it all, and why people must suffer, but I'll never think less of people because they cannot help or comfort themselves.

Many people who follow the "social way" negatively judge those who're "inferior" and different from the group.

Many of those with ASDs also follow this social way, they just don't see it.

Sorry you heard your mother say that. I completly agree with Daniel on this one. You didn't do anything to diserve that kind of blame except just be who you are. I get it sometimes to. A while back, a man fell down outside my apartment. I didn't hear him fall, and I couldn't see him because he was down below my window, and behind a bush. He didn't yell out for help, just layed there grunting and being his usual angry self. (though I don't see him often if at all. He comes outside occasionaly to be angry, sometimes to cuss out loud.)

The police officer that arrived to help him asked people walking around if they could help. They got him to sit up, but I still only could see the upper body of the officer standing from my window. I got dressed, went outside, and what did I get? Angry glares of silence from the eyes of the fallen man, the officer, and some unknown woman I never saw before. They were completly quiet. Didn't ask me for help at all. I felt like they considered me a freak or something, so I went back inside. Hearing the officer say loudly "Sir can you help please?"twice, kind of pissed me off. Later on, people around the apartment gave me strange looks for something completly beyond my control.

Now, if your grandmother falls down, what are you supposed to do but call for help on the phone? A bone might be broke so... It's not your fault; it just happens. What else are we supposed to do in these situations? I don't know. If we knew about it, we would help, but we can all do without "Oh I know so and so would just stand there looking dumb". That is uncalled for, espetially if it's a joke you don't want to hear. Laugh? Yeah right! I'd be mad to.

I don't know how I respond. It ranges. When my brother totaled my car, brought it home in a wrecker, I looked at the car, looked at him, looked at the driver of the wrecker, shrugged and turned away. I wasn't bothered by any of it.

When my mom fell down in the house, I immediately rushed to help her; then I said "YOU ALWAYS FALL DOWN! STOP BEING SO DAMN CLUMSY! Next time, I'm not helping you! "

I usually am just an observer. I barely interfere. If something happened to me, I'd probably just shout "WTF are you looking at?" or "Help, damn you!"

I still get those assumptions as well, because i seem like i have no emotion at all, and sometimes i dont understand the link between needing help or kidding, or always dont understand the concept of one being sick, so i seem very distant or very "evil" as you would put it. Its wrong how they assume that, you should defintely try to talk to her about all of that.

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Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

This reminds me of times in classroom. My professor was talking about how blacks were being hung over trivial matters. For some reason I felt the need to laugh. Another time, another professor came in with a broken arm. I immediately laughed. A week or so ago, another professor came in with some type of facial contortion and I had to prevent myself from saying "Oh no! The walking dead!"

I agree that that was a TERRIBLE thing to say, and not true at all. It sounds like they don't understand your condition at all.

My family also think my reactions to what happens to others is rather cold and 'sick'. I do have to stop myself laughing at other people's misfortunes in real life, or indeed death and destruction on the news.
I put some of it down to the 'honesty' I feel AS gives me : why would I care if 100 strangers die in a plane crash? It would be dishonest of me to feign sorrow for them, so I don't : and if the plane landed on a church, I would find it ironic and laugh. To me, that's my honest feelings, not pretend empathy..

The classic example I give is I laughed when I saw people jumping out of a building on 9/11/01. I didn't find it funny I don't think-I'm not sure what I was feeling, and obviously I don't want them to die or any of that.

Not sure what that makes me.

For me, I see a lot of irony in situations. So, when something awful happens to people, I sometimes see the weirdly oddly funny side of it, rather than having the immediate reaction of being empathetic or sorrowful about it.

I was in Korea when the Sampoong Department Store collapsed. My reaction was that maybe they would start cracking down on building inspectors and keep them from being so crooked. People were appalled. Of course, later on, they discovered that the building inspector had been paid off to ignore certain structural flaws. I was in Sampoong the morning that it collapsed. I was more appalled that I had been there with my son that morning. I was applauding myself for my good timing that I left about an hour before the final collapse. It was too hot in the store and it was making alot of weird sounds.

People think I should be freaking out because I was there that morning. But I was gone when it happened. Freakout factor significantly reduced.

My first reaction when somebody (especially myself) fall down is to laugh... I know it isn't very nice (Not when others fall down anyway) but I can't help it.
I am not an evil person in any regard, I just lack empathy when it comes to pain.
I think you should confront your mother, tell her that you don't apreciate her implying that you are a bad person. That has always worked for me anyway.