not convinced I have Asperger's

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First of all my family doesn't really think I have Asperger's but they used to think I exhibited some charactereristics which I notice in myself as well. Here is what I mean:
socially inhibited don't like large parties, I am very shy in groups
I have a very hard time making friends.

very specific obscure interests: such as films (lots of movies I watch are obscure I also go to the movies a lot in general), music (as for music I don't listen to much current music I like pop jazz, broadway rock)
I am very sound sensitive which is why I hate types of loud current music such as rap and heavy metal.

Why I don't think I have asperger's is:
I have read that people with Asperger's show a lack of empathy, this is the opposite of me. I am very concerned if I hear someone is not feeling or doing well, even if it is just someone passing by.

I have also read that people with Asperger's tend to be very blunt and don't sugarcode things and are too blunt in an inappropriate way. This is the opposite of me as well. I sugarcode things too much and am often to nice just so people won't be upset or hurt. For example if someone asked me if I thought they were a good writer even if there writing was crap I would say they were an excellent writer, in a very convincing manner just so they would feel good about themselves. This to me sounds like the opposite of Asperger's.

http://www.rdos.net/eng/

Take it with a grain of salt, of course, but it's pretty accurate.

Yea I checked out the link. I don't think I have Asperger's it just doesn't fit me. Most people who know me don't think it fits me.

MOST AS people say the empathy myth is just that!

I sugarcoat things too much ALSO! I HAVE to to survive. I TRY to tell the truth, but make it sound like what they want to hear.

AGAIN, I'm sure LOTS of AS people do the SAME!

Just a few Aspie traits does not necessarily make one an Aspie. Please do not guess.

If you have concerns, see a well-regarded professional for a diagnostic evaluation.

If you feel seriously about this, you could try bringing it up with someone who knows well. Despite an official dx I sometimes think I don't "really" have it because I don't have all the traits/stereotypes...but my boyfriend, parents, and current therapist all believe that I do. I understand that not everyone can afford an official evaluation, but I do think it's helpful to have someone else's opinion about yourself. People aren't always the most accurate judges of themselves. That's the problems I have with some of these "aspie quizzes." Someone who knows about Asperger's could easily influence the tests to get the result they want.

I'm always concerned what other people think, and try to be super nice to everyone. I have the desire for empathy, I just don't have the substance.

It's not a hard-coded diagnosis. That why it's part of a spectrum. I don't really stim, and I don't like heavy things put on me, but I've been to the symptom buffet, and had to go back for seconds.. There's no prize for being AS, but you can get some good information here. hang around a bit, and if you feel you still don't feel a lot of the 'hey, I do that too' bit, then maybe it's something else.

I definitely accept being autistic, although I believe there are people with greater problems in the world who aren't diagnosed as such.

"Why I don't think I have asperger's is:
I have read that people with Asperger's show a lack of empathy, this is the opposite of me. I am very concerned if I hear someone is not feeling or doing well, even if it is just someone passing by."

Aspies can feel empathy. I certainly do, and I'm diagnosed.

I have also read that people with Asperger's tend to be very blunt and don't sugarcode things and are too blunt in an inappropriate way. This is the opposite of me as well. I sugarcode things too much and am often to nice just so people won't be upset or hurt. For example if someone asked me if I thought they were a good writer even if there writing was crap I would say they were an excellent writer, in a very convincing manner just so they would feel good about themselves. This to me sounds like the opposite of Asperger's.
[i]
On this note I ask, have you always sugarcoated things, or did you learn this? If you learned it, than it may not be s sign of neurotypicality.

I don't know man, but Asperger's seems to me like, if you have enough of the traits listed you are an aspie. Every aspie seems to be different.

Here's the equation:

Sum up each WrongPlanet member, with respect to our characteristic autistic traits.
Divide by 16,921 = X = Uber Aspie/HFA
kid020; do you fall within one standard deviation? There's the answer.

Personally, I am a HFA, by Dx.
Those who have posted above are precisely right. The smorgasboard of autism and some of don't touch the asparagus platter (Pakled ).
2ukenkerl knows this - he is uncanny in his pragmatism and very astute. And, yes, many (not just a few) on WrongPlanet are empathetic, just like TheMidnightJudge. In my subjective opinion, with a sincere empathy, in comparison to NTs, since they/we mean what we say instead of being deceptive &/or having ulterior motives.
True, I lack many/most emotions, but I do feel. There is a difference.

kid020, talk with a "professional". He or she may be able to cut the proverbial fat.

I've deduced my symptoms to be caused by two disorders. I, unlike you, do not sympathize, do not empathize. My emotions are too complex to put into terms such as happiness, or sadness, etc. I do not understand these emotions. I appear very humble to people, yet cold and callous to others. From being here, the many of posts I read don't actually relate to me, so I'm consulting psychologists and psychiatrists to better understand myself. It is the only thing I can recommend.

I'm taking advantage of the support given by the state. Perhaps you could qualify as well? Gather enough strength to ask (for help). I know I couldn't without others.

Hi there.

As everyone has said, every Aspie is different.

I'm still in the process of discovery, but will offer my comparison to the symptoms you posed.

I'm not shy in groups if i know the people, or if they are discussing something I am interested in. However, if i walk into a room where i don't know anybody, I won't greet anyone, i'll find a place for myself, sit and observe / stim until i decide to leave or someone i know shows up. I will, actually, to a point avoid people or just randomly walk around the area being inquisitive. At concerts i adopt a character role and pretend to be a rock star playing the gig, or a roadie who knows the band or knows what he is doing.

I don't have such a hard time making friends, but making friends on a level where I will actually want to meet up, or "hang out" is exceptionally difficult for me. I tend to just go with the flow and make reactive jokes as otherwise, i don't really have much for conversation.

I don't really have obscure interests as such. But i am obsessive over the things i am interested in. Like i love physics, time travel and philosophy, but I also love fiction, movies, film making, drumming, art and graphic design. All of which I am proficient in much more so than most who take up the topics individually (well, aside from uni(college) educated people in a specific topic).

I am also very sound sensitive, even despite 12 years of killing my ears with drumming. I still hear high pitched noises nobody else hears and little sounds off in the distance.

I tend to show a lack of empathy, and in most cases feel a lack of empathy, except for when I gain that realisation of what is happening, or if it is someone very close to me and I can see how much they are hurting. Though if i have hurt them and i didn't mean it, i sometimes get very frustrated instead of feeling for them, because it makes sense in my head what i did, and they don't see it.
When something bad has happened to someone, I have no idea what to say, and anything i can think of saying is usually constructive, critical or something that probably shouldn't be said such as when someone dies "They'll get to experience that wonder of what nobody else alive gets to experience, whats on the other side, we all have to die at some stage, and they are now lucky enough to find out all of the mysteries of the universe".

However, I sugarcoat everything. I also have a habit of lying or sugarcoating things to the point of exaggeration, because i want to be liked, or people not to be hurt or angry. For small things, i usually lie or sugarcoat things because its easier than trying to communicate what I actually mean or what I want to say, or why I did something. When I'm giving advice it all depends on how energetic I am and how much effort I want to put into the reply, as it is often hard to convey what I actually mean. But i tend to be quite critical and sometimes even condescending, without realising it. I'm anal retentive on spelling most of the time (though I do miss-type a lot) so usually correct grammar and spelling straight away without even thinking about it.

Oh,. almost forgot. As for being touched or physical affection. I only realised it through As that I like physical affection when I am giving it, or if I am expecting it. If someone randomly hugs me when i'm in the middle of something, or tries to be affectionate when i'm not interested, i get very tense, irritable and impatient. Though I don't show this, I just tolerate it within myself, because i know it doesn't last for ever. One of my exes hated it. She used to say "You only want me when you want me" if that makes sense. But I didn't realise this was a problem or a particular trait until I found AS.

Anyways, thats me. As it was said, everyone is different, so if you are curious, check it out.