misconception between Asperger's and shyness

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a couple of members of my family have thought that I may have Asperger's because I have very few friends, have a hard time interacting with peers, am passive, and have obsessive interests like music and film. While many others don't think so at all. I am very shy and don't like to socialize much and have always had a hard time making friends with my peers. I remember some psychologists saying they don't think I have it while others do think I have tendencies. Here is my view: I don't have Asperger's, I have to0 much empathy for other people, my eye contact is perfect, and I am never blunt. People think because I am shy, passive, and like solitary interests, and I am somewhat childlike that I must have Asperger's. That to me is like saying that because someone likes to clean a lot they must have OCD. As i understood it being shy was not the same thing as Asperger's or Autistic spectrum disorders. What is the opinion of everyone else on here?

Shyness is wanting to not talk to people.
You don't care to be around people.you're happy to not be around them.

Then i suppose you can be considered a "shy" aspie.


But if you NEEED to be around people even if you say nothing,or if you search for lots of friends,
then a suppose you could be called a "sociable" aspie.

This is just my opnion.

I see what you are saying. My friends are socially anxious/shy. I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety before Asperger's. So I have something in common with them. Although they always said I could be strangely talkative for someone with SA. The difference is they are my only close friends, but they have their own friends. I am happy not spending every day around people.

The empathy thing is an interesting thing. I actually don't buy that we don't have empathy. We have as much empathy as somebody who has difficult relating to us. Empathy is based on the ability to relate in the first place. The idea of 'putting yourself' in someones shoes is really a delusion. There is no way anyone can experience what it is like to be another person exactly. It requires the suspention of disbelief. I'm more likely to relate to someone who is socially anxious.

Actually that is wrong. I have read a few books on the subject. Shyness is a tendency towards introversion but that doesn't mean they don't want to talk to people. The might want to avoid the embarrassment/hassle of talking to people but want to be able to talk to people nonetheless.

If anything what you said is more a trait of some ASD. Of course some people with Asperger’s and HFA do want more contact.

People expect me to be shy, jsut because I'm an Aspie. I'm a very chirpy person.

Shyness usually means
1. being perfectly aware of social interaction and
2. because of this, lacking social confidence (being very nervous of what others think of one)
3. being anxious of social failing, but not overly so.

The 2nd (as a result, not as a cause) and the 3rd are true for many on the spectrum, as they had horrible social failings before. And just general bad experiences. Some have the 'worse stage' of shyness: social anxiety.
The social oddness in those with AS is caused by lack of understanding social interaction. That's what different from pure shyness.

Shyness and high-functioning AS can be really hard to tell apart!

It's also perfectly possible to have show sympathy, have good eye-contact, have lots of friends and be well aware of social rules. It can be a problem to recognise such an aspie. Officially, you have AS when you meet the criteria in DSM-IV/ICD-10. Because that's when you have a disorder or are disabled at one point in your life. It's easy to tell then (if the professional's good).
But, some people may have had to cope with their AS and did to successfully. That's when they may not meet the criteria for the disorder any more at that point of their life. But if they were an aspie once, they will continue being aspie forever, because AS is defined as a lifelong disorder.

This also adds to the confusing of diagnosing AS. What if someone managed to cope?


Whether you may have AS or not depends. Why do you have a hard time interacting with peers?

I use the old social definition of shy:

adjective
1. lacking self-confidence; "stood in the doorway diffident and abashed"; "problems that call for bold not timid responses"; "a very unsure young man" [syn: diffident] [ant: confident]

That is a poor definition, but the closest to the old one that is basically "lacking self-confidence IN SOCIAL MATTERS".

And it is a SYMPTOM of AS! You can be shy and NOT have AS, but I doubt you can have AS and NOT be shy. I should say that I may not APPEAR to be shy to anyone today, but I AM.

I have self-confidence in relation to socialising for I know I cannot do it, and I'm correct. I appear shy, but I'm not.

Being unable to do something and feeling that you're unable to do something are two entirely different things.

Empathy is "feeling" an emotional response to an event that you haven't experienced, whether the emotional response is correct or not, I cannot say. Feeling the pain of others so to speak. Sympathy is "feeling" an emotional response of others as you've directly experienced a similar event, so you have some bearing over what it's like.

I have no empathy, not even a delay in such. Those with ASDs can have empathy, but there'll be an impairment in such compared to "normal" people.

A person can be shy and have AS.

I have AS, am very introverted and often thought of as being shy.

i am shy too that is why i dont group in wow or is because i have as

You can. Eh, be autistic and not be shy despite that I mean of course. I'm not shy.

I do appear shy to others because of my (lack of) body language though. It's ridiculous. It lasts as long as to the moment when I speak and voice my opinion, express myself in any way, then I'm not shy to people any more, but then they claim I'm totally off the rocker.

My father's family is probably all Aspies, or borderline Aspies, or whatever, and my mother too probably, and none of us ever heard of it until my mother looked up high functioning autism for me because I sucked at school and social stuff in grade 7 and 8 and had autistic tendencies before and stimmed with a string from age 2 or so. She found AS, decided it was me, took me to a specialist and got me diagnosed. My dad had the same social anxiety as me when he was my age and we talked about it together. I think he thinks maybe he's Aspie, maybe he's not, and everyone has an ASD nowadays, or something, and it doesn't really matter. I was called shy by teachers and students at school and some family members and a friend of my dad's once. My shyness started in grade 7 bigtime and continued all thru high school, getting worse and worse.

It annoys me that the Wikipedia article (and others) say that people with Asperger's are 'not usually withdrawn around others'. Yes, some people really don't know how awkward they are. However, some of us have been acutely aware of that from the age of 12. And for some of us, the only obvious option is to withdraw out of fear that we'll annoy the crap out of everyone.

And then there are the people who just don't care how they come across and will never shut up. I love those people.

Alot of factors comes into being a aspie, Can you hold a conversation? Do you have difficulty comprehending what people say sometimes even though you hear them? Do you have much facial expression?

Just being shy certainly does not mean the person automatically has Asperger's.

However, I would like to point out that just because a person lacks some of the symptoms does not automatically mean they don't. For example, I actually have a strong sense of empathy, I just don't visibly display it all the time. I also am very good at maintaining eye-contact in most situations. Yet I am also an officially diagnosed Aspie.