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kid020
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28 Feb 2008, 7:48 pm

Not to generalzie but it seems like a lot of guys (including myself) with Asperger's (Not entirely sure I am Asperger's but I am on the spectrum) don't care to fit in the typical male stereotypes. For example I a straight male don't really like sports, I am sensitive, and I don't mind being the submissive one in a romantic reltionship. Now on the surface if you meant me you would say I seem typically masculine and I am in many ways, but I'm not really rough and tumble. I'm more like a Johhny Depp than a Bruce Willis. (I always use analogies to film) friends I have with Asperger's do not fit into male stereotypes either. Not to generalize as I am sure there are exceptions, what does everyone think of this observation?



2ukenkerl
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28 Feb 2008, 8:32 pm

kid020 wrote:
Not to generalzie but it seems like a lot of guys (including myself) with Asperger's (Not entirely sure I am Asperger's but I am on the spectrum) don't care to fit in the typical male stereotypes. For example I a straight male don't really like sports, I am sensitive, and I don't mind being the submissive one in a romantic reltionship. Now on the surface if you meant me you would say I seem typically masculine and I am in many ways, but I'm not really rough and tumble. I'm more like a Johhny Depp than a Bruce Willis. (I always use analogies to film) friends I have with Asperger's do not fit into male stereotypes either. Not to generalize as I am sure there are exceptions, what does everyone think of this observation?


GOD, I am the SAME way, although I am like a cross between bruce willis and johnny Depp. I am perhaps in the center(with relation to bruce willis' die hard character), and probably pretty much like the real bruce willis. Like you, though, I try to be courteous, don't like sports, and am straight. BTW I ALSO relate things to movies.



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28 Feb 2008, 8:37 pm

ABSOLUTELY! 100%. A few years ago I think it was called the "sensitive new age guy."

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ButchCoolidge
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28 Feb 2008, 9:26 pm

In some ways, aspies are very much stereotypically masculine, with tendencies towards an unkempt appearance, technical knowledge, and a lack of empathy. I think it just depends on the aspie. I have lots of feminine and masculine characteristics. Aspies certainly are less likely than NT's to go out of their way to fulfill masculine stereotypes, so in that sense I see your point.



kid020
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28 Feb 2008, 10:43 pm

ButchCoolidge wrote:
In some ways, aspies are very much stereotypically masculine, with tendencies towards an unkempt appearance, technical knowledge, and a lack of empathy. I think it just depends on the aspie. I have lots of feminine and masculine characteristics. Aspies certainly are less likely than NT's to go out of their way to fulfill masculine stereotypes, so in that sense I see your point.

Yea interesting that you say Aspies less likely than NT;s to go out of their way to fulfill masculine stereotypes. Could you explain that more?



lotus
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28 Feb 2008, 10:47 pm

Isn't Johnny Depp AS? I thought I read that on this forum here somewhere. Anyways, sounds to me like you are just fine. :) If every guy was Bruce Willis, I sure wouldn't be with anyone....



Space
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28 Feb 2008, 11:22 pm

lots of NT males don't fit into the masculine stereotype either. That's just people, we are all different.



Aegius
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28 Feb 2008, 11:57 pm

Space wrote:
lots of NT males don't fit into the masculine stereotype either. That's just people, we are all different.


Richard Simmons comes to mind. Very strong social skills, yet very effeminate.



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29 Feb 2008, 12:27 am

kid020 wrote:
Not to generalzie but it seems like a lot of guys (including myself) with Asperger's (Not entirely sure I am Asperger's but I am on the spectrum) don't care to fit in the typical male stereotypes. For example I a straight male don't really like sports, I am sensitive, and I don't mind being the submissive one in a romantic reltionship. Now on the surface if you meant me you would say I seem typically masculine and I am in many ways, but I'm not really rough and tumble. I'm more like a Johhny Depp than a Bruce Willis. (I always use analogies to film) friends I have with Asperger's do not fit into male stereotypes either. Not to generalize as I am sure there are exceptions, what does everyone think of this observation?


That's me, I am straight but I'm in touch with my feminine side. I think the whole "macho" thing is a load of BS for men who can't feel good about themselves or even feel like a man without being tough. I know what makes me a man, but I'm not going into that here. :lol:

I have recently however started working out. I mostly do light weights and some aerobics so I can stay in shape and I'm already seeing results.

Though I've only talked to a few, I have related to every single woman I have ever talked to. They have told me that I understand more than their boyfriends ever will.

I've always thought I was like Johnny Depp too. :lol:


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jamesohgoodie
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29 Feb 2008, 12:32 am

i'm totally unmasculine. i'm an artist. i hate sports. i wear nail polish. i have tons of shoes (mostly Chuck Taylors but i'm trying to make a point). i haven't hit the gym in god knows how long. i've made out with guys (on dares) before. i love Hello Kitty and my favorite color is pink. i cry when i listen to very emotional music. in high school all the cute girls wanted to "just be friends". i'm the worst example of manliness ever. you're not alone.


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Last edited by jamesohgoodie on 29 Feb 2008, 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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29 Feb 2008, 1:13 am

It may be true for female aspies too. At least it is for me. I stongly believe that masculine and feminine stereotypes are more sociological than biological. Since aspies are naturally a little bit harder to socialize, wouldn't it make sence that we'd be a little bit more androgynous in personality than most? I'm not discounting the fact that many NTs also march to their own beat, but to me it seems like exaggerated gender roles serve a very social purpose. The average aspie is less concerned (or aware) about social impressions and roles, so there could very well be proportionately more aspies who don't fit in with gender stereotypes.



Last edited by Pithlet on 29 Feb 2008, 1:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

scumsuckingdouchebag
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29 Feb 2008, 1:15 am

Despite all the peer pressure, and all of the times I've been called a 'wuss', or a 'p****',


-I'm extremely emotionally sensitive
-still a virgin at age 23
-find it extremely difficult to hurt someone who is even trying to bring harm to me
-don't like sports and am completely clueless when playing them
-go out of my way to avoid cutting/blistering my hands when working with cars/machines/tools
-wear gloves when my hands may be in contact with any abrasive/sharp surfaces
-do not go through any effort to get 'normal' people to perceive me as 'not gay' (I'm not gay, but someone who is basically asexual)
-extreme ectomorph somatotype (my aunt thinks I have an eating disorder, even though I clearly don't)
-don't look at pornography on my own time(I never got much out of it. Perhaps it's an acquired taste?)


I have plenty of masculine and feminine traits. 'Androgynous' would probably better describe my personality.



AndersTheAspie
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29 Feb 2008, 1:48 am

I don't really fit any social stereotype. I think I probably mix so called feminine traits with masculin traits, but I haven't ever really bothered comparing myself to stereotypical males. Why would I really?


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29 Feb 2008, 1:58 am

Didn't really fit the male stereotype either. I was not effeminate though. Couldn't have cared less about watching baseball or football. Wanted to watch science and nature.


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29 Feb 2008, 2:22 am

I think the macho thing, with it's sets of unwritten rules, was just beyond my comprehension. I can remember not being able to make any sense of it and not know what to say and do in those situations and yet it seemed natural for others. I guess I thought when you have certain hardware, that is proof enough, so why waste time with bs.



regularguy
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29 Feb 2008, 2:47 am

ButchCoolidge wrote:
In some ways, aspies are very much stereotypically masculine, with tendencies towards an unkempt appearance, technical knowledge, and a lack of empathy.

I think there is a lot of variation.


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