Ever feel accepted and then it all crashes down?

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There have been times in my life, although rare, that with a certain group of "friends", I have felt accepted and even normal... Then that relaxed feeling of belonging will suddenly be destroyed and I will be left like Cinderella after Midnight in a crowd of people : (

Different things happen to cause this but usually, it's when someone new will enter the group and end up turning everyone against me... This happened after I had the same group of friends for over a year and someone new entered the group... A friend pointed out to me that this person was like a tornado and apparently was trying to destroy the whole group?? Suddenly the people that were my friends started thinking I'm a worse person than I am -- they ended up laughing at me and excluding me because of that new person -- This has happened a couple of times in my life and destroyed the few social circles that I had managed to belong to... It is as though I'm left with feeling like the facade has been destroyed and that I will never really belong in their world ever, anymore... who was I to momentarily think so!!??! What an idiot I was to actually think I could fit in, right!!??! That's how I'm left feeling...

Now, I don't even try anymore... It's too painful to feel apart of something and then have it all destroyed.. Right now at least, I almost feel better being alone -- (except it's the weekend and my phone hasn't rang once -- that's kindof lonely)...

Oh, yeah. I used to be well-liked on WP, and I still have lots of really good friends, but whenever someone tells me off (and for the record it's never any of my friends, but still) I just go "OH, s**t! THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! WHAT THE f**k IS GOING ON HERE!!"

Oh I haven't been trying to "fit in" any social circles from real life for quite awhile now. It's not in my priorities...real life.

I know what you mean though. I usually get over it fairly quickly, it's never been a problem.

This has happened to me.

I guess I just feel like, I'm in a group, like WP, and as I get to know them more I start trusting them more and more to be like me, and I trust them to understand and accept certain things I say, but then they don't or tell me off or something, and I'm totally in shock.

Ditto ((ebec11) X 10 ^ (1/0)) message above

Yeah, this has happened to me before.

I thought this classroom in the school I intended in Eatontown, New Jersey. It was full of antiques, and, though I was the only one not touching them, we all heard an "EXCUSE ME!! !! !! !!" and turn to see a teacher flaring with anger and accused ALL of us. That was one time I thought I'd fit in, but ended up feeling like a fish out of water.

No. It doesn't happen because regardless I still wont feel as I belong.

I could hang around people who are just like me, and I'd probably grow tired or just not want to be part of the group.

It has happened to me. One of the worse incidents that I can remember, happened on a new job. My new boss seemed to really like me. She asked my advice about getting a birthday card for someone, laughed a lot with me, and invited me to hang out with her after work. After I'd been there about three months, a new girl was hired, and for a while, the three of us did things together after work. But I soon caught on that they were secretly laughing at me behind my back, and making fun of me. At first it hurt, but then I grew increasingly cold and uncaring to them both. I figured they were stupid and immature, and not worth my time. They in turn, got confused. Thinking that their duplicity was well hidden, they tried to play innocent, asking me what was wrong, accompanied by phony facial expressions meant to convey concern. Then they started finding fault with my work. When I asked for a transfer to another site, they were stunned. But I was careful not to trust co-workers again.

Yeah, about that- lemme tell ya what that means: basically, those guys you were initially hanging out with really didn't care much about you one way or the other. Your true friends will stick by you- and when some trouble does happen, eventually, they'll look back and feel bad about it, and you'll become stronger than ever with them.

Believe me- happened several times with my best friend of 18 years; we had SO many problems throughout high school. Well, he just turned 25, and I'll be 26 at the end of this month, and we've never been stronger.

They really sounded like a bunch of flakes, I'll tell ya.

But here's an ironic reverse situation that happened to me- back in '03, I was working at Suncoast, and my boss told me to strike up conversation with anyone looking suspicious, to deter them from stealing( folks, we had no budget for security, so just work with me here). Well, there was this one guy there I noticed who seemed suspicious- so I went over to talk to him.

Well, that guy kept coming back in to talk to me, and I thought "Russell, this is your chance- ask him to hang out". He was thrilled by the idea, and introduced me to all his friends. Yes, for the first time in my life I had a social group- it was awesome...and lasted for a while, until the guy showed us his TRUE colors. Well, chaos broke loose, and one by one everyone ditched him. I figured to myself at this point "well, I'm about to ditch him, myself, cause he's such a prick- but, it was a great run while it lasted". Here's what DID happen- everyone happened to agree with me, and the prick got kicked out of the group- those that were loyal to him followed, the group got re-organized, and everyone went with ME! Yes, I became the "leader" of the group- didn't see that one coming, did'ja?

And yes- they're all still my friends. They're not the most reliable guys in the world, but we still talk here and there. And one of them became a very close friend of mine...another one became one of my BEST friends