How Self-Absorbed Are You?

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One thing I've consistently noted in every person with Asperger's syndrome I've known is self-absorption (that's basically what the word autism means!). What I mean by this is a predominant concern with one's own interests, preferences, routines, concerns, adversives, fantasies, and opinions. Socializing (except at the most pathological levels) is inherently reciprocal—give and take. At least a modicum of flexibility is required. NTs have a willingness to talk about things they don't know about or may not even be interested in because it gives them a chance to get to know the person or emotionally bond. They are willing to try new things because they realize it isn't fair to always dictate what activities are done when they are with their friends.

I think for some of us (but certainly not all) much of the social difficulty comes from an unwillingness to invest some time and effort to keep social connections active (think of it like pinging a server). If you're too shy to answer the phone or unwilling to venture outside your routine, eventually even the most well-meaning of friends just won't bother with you anymore.

So would you say you're self-absorbed?

I'm very self-absorbed when I get depressed. It's part of what being depressed is. Before that, when I start seeing a depression coming on, I'm really extroverted and social, trying to get so stimulated it doesn't come on after all.

I guess I could say I'm pretty self-absorbed...although I am not depressed.

I am an introvert, I've always been an introvert...I'm just happier and less stressed out being in my own little world.

I am very self absorbed...and I can't seem to help it. I am just this little island of myself...I don't really know how to change it.

I'm also self absorbed. I've been trying to overcome it lately whe in social situations.

I am self absorbed. I agree with what NeantHumain said. However, with me part of the problem is that I just don't find many people stimulating.

I don't think NTs participate in “mingling” and small talk purely out of an altruistic desire to be friendly. They actually seem to find it stimulating. It's frustrating. I can force myself to do it just to be friendly, but I don't feel I'll ever have the same emotional connection. There's only so much I can take of it before I become burnt out and bored.

Of course I am self absorbed! I am the only one I know is real.

Another self-absorbed person here.

I am much less self-absorbed than I used to be.

Normally I'd say no, but yes I'm self absorbed. I've been avoiding my friend like the plague and I don't know why. I think I'm less self-absorbed than I use to be. I now try to listen to people's opinions and give feedback without using the I statements. Oops, maybe not so much on these boards though, huh.

I have let the person I am truly interested in control my life.

Saturation point topic

You can really lose yourself in yourself, and your interests. I think this is part of the hyper focus thing. Count me in. It means you can live with yourself, and you will never be lonely.

Yes.

I'm pretty "self-absorbed"-am endlessly interesting to myself, so it makes sense. Imagine other people feel similarly about themselves, why wouldn't they ? Paying attention to the world outside me is depressing, actually.
Think I was less "self-absorbed" as child, just because I had less stuff in my head (experiences, memories, connecting associations)-so only source for material was outside self. As I've aged, more internal content has been generated (with the help of external matter, be it books or people). As a kid, everything had to be created "from scratch"-now I've got all sorts of mental stuff going on that's co-creation of external & internal perception/interpretation.

Yes. Sometimes I won't pay any attention to my girlfriend because I'm so absorbed in my current interest. Someone on Second Life asked me yesterday why I'll keep going on talking about stupid things and posting links to more information when nobody else cares and I think that's part of it. I focus so much on a small detail and don't realize everyone else has lost interest. When the people around me try to change the topic more directly I get annoyed that they can't focus.

Yup, self-absorbtion is my "default" too. Like some have said, I'm better at it than I used to be, and I've spent a lot of time working on trying to be more "reciprocal". It's payed off big time, no doubt, but it's still a work in progress. And exhausting at times... heh.