Psychologist's dont believe im an aspie

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This is very troubleosm cause my friends and family all believe and see me as an aspie, but i cannot get a propper diagnosis because i come accross as "normal" to a psychologist. or i come accross as ADHD-PI/ADHD/ or NT.
This isnt the case how ever. I was taught froma c hild when i am in a doctors office i need to act a certain way and this is how i still act especially with a psychologist it is very nerve racking that i cant show my "aspieness"
They also believe im showing eye contact.. noo im looking at their nose/mouth/shirt buttons oh and they don't seem to notice at all that for half the conversation im staring at the wall.. soo apparently this is sufficient eye contact?

Making eye contact hurts my head and eyes, so its rare that i ever do so, but these professionals all seem to think i am making sufficient eye contact, i dont see how.

Ive been to 3 people now, and none of them can pick me as an aspie, and yet my 7 aspergers friends, and my mum all see me as just that, Aspie.

Whats going on here?

How can i not act so formal in the doctors office?
Its just routine formality with a person who is my superior, like an inbuilt thing - politeness i suppose that ive learnt.

and when i do "act" my normal self they think im ADHD or something, which im not. nothing makes me hyper, except when im really really tired... (which is kind of a contradiction in itself).

Is there something i should be saying to them, like "this is just my polite routine side for teh doctors office?" or something cause i am sick of them someone who knows very little about me, saying "oh theres no way you can be aspie, you're wasting my time, but you may be ADHD-PI (inattentive ADHD)." and yet my parents and friends say i am definitely aspie.. this confuses me greatly.
I think of myself as an aspie.


This is sooo very annoying >.<

any suggestions? and sorry for my long-ish rumble...

maybe just drop the "i am acting normal" routine and be yourself how you are at home? You don't need to conform in front of a psychologist. How are they supposed to properly assess you if you aren't acting like yourself? When I was diagnosed, I had go through a ton of questions about all kinds of things for the formal diagnoses. Didn't they do that with you? If not, maybe you should ask?

Why do you care if anyone thinks you are an aspie?

Yeah, drop the act and go to a psychiatrist or someone who specialises in autism. A psychologist will just throw the anxiety label at you or anything they actually know how to treat.

Just so you know ADHD and AS are very similar and you don't need to be hyperactive to have ADHD-PI.

Of course they don't believe you. You're female.

you may be an aspie, but then again you might not.

you may want to think hard about why the label is important to you. do you need it in order to access services? or is it to confirm something you believe about yourself? or another reason?

sometimes other issues or combinations of other disorders can come across similarly, like ADHD with Social Anxiety, or Schizoid Personality Disorder. since you surround yourself with aspies, you might even have picked up on some of their cues as well, and become more aspie-like (just like aspies sometimes become more NT).

you might want to ask a psychologist if they are willing to do the testing anyway, even if they have doubts. then the results will speak for themselves. it may cost a handful though.

Why does everyone have 6-10 aspie friends now adays? And since when do aspies have a large friend network.

I refuse to believe we are that common, I have never met anyone similar to myself.

Its not a club....

I was told twice first by my doctor then by a psychiatrist that I didn't have aspergers. It wasn't until I actually managed to get seen by asperger/autism specialists that they confirmed the diagnosis, although they still said it was 'mild' aspergers, which doesn't exist... (I got to see the specialists because at the time I had depression and I guess they thought it may be linked to the AS traits).

I think it's because unless you see me in a social situation I appear 100% normal, or at least 'geeky' normal. In formal settings with restricted forms of conversation (i.e. just talking about AS) I can make eye contact, talk intelligently and all the rest of it. Put me in a social situation however and I fall apart, I end up looking at the floor and every other sentence I utter causes awkward silence.

I don't think general health professionals expect AS individuals to be able to compensate, but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 21 so of course I'd developed some crude heuristics to help me cope in an NT world. My only advice is keep trying (if a diagnosis will genuinely help you) and hope someone takes long enough to listen.

I've not read all the replies sorry if this as been mentioned but have ou thought about asking your mum or one of your aspie friends to talk to them on your behalf ? Perhapse coming from someone else who can see it in you and who knows you lot better than any doctor or psych may help them see it too
Hope this helps