my son can't or won't do his homework

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Hi. I'm new. I have a 14 yr son w/ AS. He was diagnosed at 13. He's been going to a very good LD school for 4 yrs and is now in 7th grade. His IQ is slightly above average and he has always made decent grades. However, this year, he has pretty much stopped doing most of his homework and is now in real danger of failing 7th grade. NOTHING will make him change this behavior. His principle told him he may not be invited back to the school,
he knows he will either A: have to repeat 7th grade and spend 9 weeks in a SUWS summer program. or B: spend ALL summer in summer school. He doesn't have any trouble doing the class work but he chooses not to do the homework. Has anybody experienced this? Is this Asperger's? or a troubled kid acting out? We are at our wit's end

maybe he just does not see the point of doing the homework. have u tried using his special interests ( favourite things to do) to encourage him to do it?

Try to find someone who can help your child study. It may be he is bored,or does not want to do his homework.

Talk to his teachers about help or programs.

windrift,

For what it is worth, I was the SAME way! TWICE they passed me simply because they knew I KNEW the subject! I passed every test they gave me, etc... Still, there were MANY years I did NO homework. For what it is worth, I ALWAYS made it to the next grade.

As for your son? Have you asked him what his problem is? MY problems were:

1. BORING
2. NO CHALLENGE
3. With at least one teacher, I seriously never knew it was assigned. All the same, it would have been #1 or #2!

7th grade was probably the worst year of my life. That may have been the only year I slipped into 70's. My father used to have to sit down with me to get work done. He called himself the "homework nazi".
Middle school doesn't matter too too much though.

That school doesn't sound like a good situation, I'd start looking into what other options are available. Look for educators that really want to work with your son and an environment with students with a similar dx. Avoid any places where he's going to be lumped together with drop outs and other bad examples.

BTW At 14, he should be in the 8th or 9th grade!

Tell him if he does not want to face dealing with any homework for a good long while then he has to get it done, otherwise make him sit and stare at it every day, be sure to keep copy's around for when he trash's the work, drive the point home, no work no play.

another thing to try, if he truly is Aspie then he will have his little obsessions,
get him to think about and/or realise that learning things will help him do better at what ever obsession he may be having.
incorporate learning into his obsessions, if that dont work remove the object of his obsession untill he gets his work done, if he has no obsessions find something he would obsess over, if thats not possable perhaps he is not aspie.

Have you taken him to a psychologist/psychiatrist? I think this might be a symptom of depression. If it is depression you need to get on it as quick as possible or it’s only going to get much worse.

He's also might be overwhelmed by the fact that he's behind in his homework and doesn't feel it's possible to catch up. I think the school needs to come up with a realistic plan that he can stick to. Feeling hopelessly behind is always a huge kill on motivation.

I went through that. My deal was I didn't see the point in doing homework if I understood fully what I was to do to begin with. I was ready to move on, learn something new, not go home and do the same thing over and over just so the teacher would know I was capable of it. It was BORING repetition, lol.... it meant absolutely nothing else to me besides that. From 6th grade up, I barely passed every single year.

My mother tried everything she could think of to try to "force" me to do it, but nothing worked. I was grounded once for nearly 3 months straight, and STILL my mom got an at-home visit from the teacher to explain I wasn't doing any of my homework... didn't phase me one bit. The idea of having to attend summer school? Meh, I don't do anything all summer 'cept keep to myself anyway. Not like it would be interrupting my social life, and maybe something good would come out of it-that's how I always looked at it.

I heard all the time that if I failed my classes, I would not be able to go to college or anything else. My problem is I just didn't grasp that those things would happen. They weren't anything in my immediate future-heck, I didn't even know what I wanted to be later in life... why would that bother me for people to keep telling me about the effects it is going to have years and years from them? It does nothing to effect me at that very moment, lol.

My son is only 6 and he's already started this "I don't have any homework" thing, and tries to get away with it. I just explain that I know he can do it, and he knows that he can do it... even the teacher knows that he can do it, but everyone in the class has been given the assignment because not everyone can do it, and the teacher needs to be able to see who is or isn't capable of completing the task. If that doesn't at least get him working on it, I tell him he has to sit at the table until he does it, then I remind him of all of the fun things (his special interests) he *could* be doing if he would just hurry up and do the homework That usually gets him going.

I haven't done homework in my life, nor did I do any work other than what the teachers directly gave me and then viewed it as they hovered over me.

I didn't, and don't see the point of it, or school.

No one could get me to do it, and I do mean no one.

welcome windrift,

i was similar, but got away with it, just simply didn't bother;
i will add one other possibility though:
is it that he won't do his homework or is it to do with school?

i was sort of bullied, or at least anxious that way &
that's the only reason why i failed one year (i was 14)
and got myself demoted to the next class at a lower level
i.e. another class with other people,
which, in retrospect, was not the best of ideas

now that in itself would not be directly AS, but
i do gather bullying is not an uncommon feature of aspic life

Hi there.

Wanna know something? When i was between 9 and 14 years old, i never did homework.
It was boring, no challenge either. Yet i passed with quite nice grades

But it sounds like your son maybe doesnt have such an easy time.

What is he like in daily life? I kinda had a depression-ish where i couldnt really get started doing anything. Maybe he cant really make his routines work?

Id assume that it would help him if you structure his day and put time into his day for homework. Set up some specific times for when you need to do homework and then let him do what he is interested in afterwards.

I think you as the parent "HAVE TO" make him do his homework whether he likes it or not cuz he has to get through high school and graduate. I didn't like doing homework neither cuz I didn't feel like it and was too lazy. But I knew I would make bad grades if I chose not too so I did it.

I say punish him, ground him, sit with him to help do his homework, think of ways to congrate him if he does his homework. Do whatever it takes to help him pass the grade level and throughout school.

Says who?