Am I so difrunt.......

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When me and My now Ex girl friend first got together we BOTH had baggage from past relationships,
I had a son that was alienated from me, I had hoped that once the relationship was over that perhaps I could fix our bond
but I learned the hard way things just does not work out that way, taking me out of the picture ensured the ex-wife
could alienate him even further, well anyways, it hurt, I drank some, when My baby Charles was born
I transfered all that hurt into love of the world now before me, the drinking stopped, the girl I was with
held those things against me even though I stopped and there was no negative affects other then she never liked it,
if she felt it such an issue she should have never gotten together with me, she knew I had those issues,
instead of being supportive and understanding she started looking for someone new,
now and then I drank again when she fell in love with others and then rubbed my nose in it,
I did not know how to handle the pain and rejection especially with a child involved,
now she is using the drinking as an excuse to try and take our child from me,
trying to be the so called good mother when she her self done a piss poor job,
I was a better parent then she, I still am.

Now if the roles was reversed, a friend helps a friend in need with care and understanding,
a mate, a partner, ensures that if there is an issue to help and stand by that other partner,
and if things did not work out, then to tell them personalty that this is not healthy for our child,
that if they really wanted that child in his or her life that they need to change and work on those issues,
I would have given reason and hope, a chance for that person to change for the better of them selves and the child in question.
but instead she tried to slam the doors of communications closed and to take the whole cookie without warning or compromise.
alls she ever had to do was talk with me, just to end things right I would have gone and worked on those issues but for the asking
whether I felt I needed to or not...............

so far it looks like custody will go 50/50,
simply because I addressed those issues long before things got worse, I was never much of a drinker to begin with,
but my Ex does not care, it seems her true reasons are more clear, it was not the drinking, she just wanted me totally our of her life,
and she feels taking our child from me will ensure this in her life.

1-Ex-wife, 1 child alianated.
1-Ex-girlfriend, 1 child, she is trying to strip him from me out of spite.

i don't understand...do you have 2 children with 2 different women, or just the one? your lack of sentences confuses me. then again, i never was very good at poetry...is it a poem?

I think she may have forgotten that once you had a child together, it meant that you were going to be in the picture some way or another for at least 18 more years. She needs to grow up and act like an adult in this situation. I know relationships are a two way street. Rubbing your face in her new boyfriend list just shows what kind of selfishness and immaturity, not to mention vindictiveness she really has inside. There are two sides to every story. Her needs may not have been met, but its her fault if she is unable to communicate those needs. She needs to keep her mouth shut if she is demonizing you to your son. That can be worthy of lawsuit. I think it is called withhold of affection or something in that matter.

If you can, set up custody pickups in a public place where she cannot go into your home and you dont have to go to hers. If you love your kiddo, then the best thing you can do when you have him is provide a stable and loving environment. Be the best dad you can. If he is miserable at her place, he is more likely to want to stay with you when he is old enough to be given that choice. 50/50 custody is better than none. You might want to keep a lawyer on retainer just in case. Keep your nose clean too.. You can work with 50/50.

The ex girlfriend can kiss your ass. She knows your situation and knows what you are going through and decides to pull some kind of infantile mindgame because she is not the center of your attention. Kid's more important. If she cannot handle that then she should have stayed away in the first place. Give yourself some time to heal from this marriage exit. Right now you are vulnerable and are more likely to attract the wrong kind of woman. You have a right to be as picky as you want to be. I hope your situation improves and that things go your way in this. I know it is not easy. Dont let anyone try to make you feel like a bad person or that everything is your fault. Take responsibility of what you can and let the other crap fall by the wayside. I am sure things will get better. Be there for your boy.

No,
My Ex-Wife alienated our child from me, my first child, he is 16 now..................
I never married again.
the girl I am dealing with now is now my EX-girlfriend, our child is 2 years 4 months old.
she is trying to erase me from her life by stripping our child from me.
God a part of me is so sick of the stress and her trying to find ways to strip him from me,
A big part of me just wants to say phuck it and goto war and just get this dispute over with.

and no, I am not looking for anyone new until this whole thing is over, but even then I totaly suck at finding new mates.
but man, I could really use some understanding and comforting arms right now,
it gets so lonely dealing with all this crap on my own, I feel much better when my son is with me,
but she ended up for now with him 5 days out of the week and me just two,
I enjoy the time I do have with him, but its surly not enough.

You know, I feel I truly am a good person and would make a damn good mate for some girl,
but they never seem interested except in the as*holes they end up complaining about.
If things got hard, I am not one to walk away, I am one to try and do the best I can
to be supportive and caring and to reflect my love I would help my mate over come the obstacles in their lives if they are willing to let me,
but it never goes the other way around, the first sign of problems or issues I get judged and used and abused and ran over then left behind.
they always seem to take my kindness and gentleness as a weakness, for the right girl, I would carry her from her mountain of broken shards barefoot
to the safety of soft earth beneath our feet, hell I would do that for a true friend.
for the right girl, I would not care if her face was a total scar, I would let her know the beauty I do see inside her,
and the only thing I would ask for in return is,
love,
affection,
consideration,
honesty,
truth,
honer,
understanding,
and a readiness to give and receive heart and soul.

from a legal standpoint, there's no reason you both shouldn't have shared equal custody...UNLESS:
-she is the bread-winner (earns the money)
-you have been proven mentally incompetent
-your home isn't considered a "safe environment"
-you have a criminal record
take the b***h to court! fight her! get a really good, suave lawyer who will dress you up nice and present you very well. if you're unemployed or live in a lousy place, fix both of those before going to court.
the exception to joint custody will come once he's in school, if you live in different school districts.

Don't give up on your children.

From a child whose mother used me as a chess piece against my father, don't ever ever give up.

One day, far in the future, one day your children will know the truth.