People who don't understand say hurtful things. Examples are

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Autistic Spectrum Disorders can be an invisible to many people. What are some of the hurtful things that have been said to you? Here are some hurtful things that have been said to me by people who just don't understand:

"You gotta grow up some time!!"

"Aahh, you're just trying to find yourself!!" (or.. "You need to go find yourself!!")

"The military would straighten you out!"

"All you need is confidence!"

""We're all Alike!" --- said by a successful person implying that I have just as much chance as he did if I just simply apply myself with as much enthusiasm as he did..

"You just haven't been in enough social situations!! You really need to work on your social skills!! ! You don't learn body language by reading about it in a book!! !"

With an arrogant leer and a knowing sneer, the "friend" says..." Haha.. you need a psychiatrist -- A.D.D. (NLD, AS, etc..) is really just anxiety!!"

A psychiatrist: "All you need is Reiki and spirtual healing".. As if I am somehow deficient because of some spiritual failing on my part..

QUESTION: Do people with other neurological differences and issues receive this type of treatment? I'm not wanting to refer to AS being "a disease" like some of the following listed here, but it IS a neurological difference with positive features as well as features that can cause difficulty getting along with other people who don't have these differences.. I just wonder if others knew how difficult it is to be different sometimes, would they be so cruel? It isn't something we can help really.. It's like, would they talk to these other people, with more obvious differences or conditions, the way they do to us?

"ret*d people with I.Q.'s supposedly lower than 50, just aren't applying themselves enough... clearly they can do just as good as everyone else.. We're all alike!

Do people with Parkinson's get laughed at by other adults because their movements are "jerky"?? "He just isn't trying hard enough.. Ha! He needs a good shrink!! The shakes are just anxiety!! !" ???

"If he gets kicked hard enough, he won't be blind anymore... it's just psychological.. We'll teach him a lesson and then he'll SEE!! ! That's all he needs.. a good kick in the butt!!"

"HA! There really isn't such a think as Alzheimer's... They've let old age and depression get to them too bad until they loose their mind".... it's a spiritual failing.."

Hydrocephalus is a childhood disorder... Grow up!! ! and get over it!!...
Info on Adult Hydrocephalus: http://www.tmfhs.org/neurobody.cfm?id=1094

~L

I know; I just started a sort of similar thread the the Haven.


More hurtful comments:


"Aversive therapy might help."


"All you need is to learn how to occupy yourself... try picking up a book sometime, or going out for a walk, or watching a movie."


"You need to go back to school or you won't go anywhere."


"This person needs to be stopped forcefully from doing what they're doing."

Hey how about you come up with a speech! (ppl always assume the quiet ones are smart)

You are a goody two shoes. (Maybe I don't want to get in on this BS drama)

You're a narcist. (I don't know why)

You're such a baby, grow up. (I still feel like a child on the inside who can't mentally function like adults do. It sucks)

Good luck with finding a job that will give you a living. (I think they were right about that one)

God you're strange. (I don't really know the reason for this one. Probably b/c I keep to myself and do odd activities like doodle in books or write a bunch of stuff in my journal)

You probably won't do well with living on your own (That hurts but I think it's true)

Get a life (What does life mean in general?)

I'm sure there's more. I've been hurt many times and felt that I was invisible. I still feel like that at times.

I once had a guy say to me:

"You know, you make really bad eye contact."

My family is also 'nice' in some cases:

"$age years old and still such an immature baby!" (I also feel like a small child at times, I still love plush animals and play with them like a child would)

"Stop attention-whoring!"

"Spending more time outside will help you!" (My reply often was: "If I come to you with a knife in my stomach, you would say that as well!" since it was her cure-all for many problems, loneliness, headaches, strange thoughts)

"You are just strange because you experienced all this arguments between your grandparents and us!" (so all people in dysfunctional families have no clue what to do )

"Who do you think will hire someone like you?"

"Do you think anybody cares about $currentSpecialInterest?!"

My dad is in constant denial and his saying is "There's nothing wrong with you; you just got too much too soon"

It's remarks like those, that cause most of us a great deal of depression.

True. The remarks are so cruel, it does cause depression... If I could just keep reminding myself that it's because they don't understand... I don't want to be angry or depressed..

I had my hearing tested once and it was beyond the normal range of human hearing.. which means that I can hear very quiet, cruel gossip if I am within earshot of it...

I've heard comments whispered like.... "What's wrong with her??" "Social Skills 101 heee hee" "She's cute, but it's her personality" etc, etc.. I got to where I stopped trying to hear what they were saying... I assumed they all gossiped about me for a while.. Then, I stopped caring either way and I try not to think about it.. I don't want to know anymore.. I'll never be "normal", that is a fact.

Later, someone told me after years of having what I thought was a good friend, that I wouldn't believe all the negative stuff she was going around saying about me... Then I realized that the so-called "friend" would talk badly about a number of people while talking with me and when I realized that she was talking just as badly about me to the other people, I felt ill... That's when I wondered if I should start putting my ear to the door again and listen for gossip..

I just happened to remember some other misconceptions people have about me.

Some people assume I must be arrogant or selfish or just plain rude for not responding to their nonverbal communication.. So therefore, they want to either teach me a lesson or they spin their heels and strut away from me... (Often times, because I'm pretty blind to that nonverbal communication, I don't even have a clue as to why they are angry at me..)

Other people think I might do drugs or did enough drugs to change my brain. I lived in Florida for many years, and when I'm in another southern state, for some reason they get the impression that I might be brain-damaged from doing too many drugs or drinking.. Florida is known as a partying place in the U.S. Many might not even guess that I was born like that.. (ADD/NLD/Asperger's) and I've have always been spacey.. If they think this, that gives them the right to dismiss me, make fun of me and look at me generally like I'm a loser.. It's only down the road that I will completely shock them with some amazing blast of intelligence.. (I have I.Q. of around 140) If I'm not depressed or feeling self-conscious/anxiety when I get to know someone for a while, I will feel more comfortable opening up about stuff and then they see I have real intelligence and am not what they were thinking I am..

I have heard variations on all of the above.
This one:

I hate, "Stop being so childish!" and, when I explain my reasons (or if I am in meltdown mode try to say that I can't or I'm not), "You ARE behaving like a little child/four-year-old!"

I hate the word "childish."

Another one is, after a meltdown or a problem, "So... was it worth it?" Or (less bad), "What did you gain?"

As if I suffered this crap for some kind of gain or enjoyment.

"There's nothing wrong with you. You're just a little bit slow." Made by my Nana, on Christmas Day, when I was fifteen.

"There are a lot of things that most people can do, that you'll never be able to do, and part of it, is because you have a Learning Disability" Made by my dad, when I was fifteen.

"You're allowed to have opinions of your own." Some idiot that I've worked with, ten years ago. My opinions are so strong, that the b***h wouldn't have been able to stand to listen to them.

"She might even be ret*d." As a response to my saying that I didn't trust men, by some loser guy that I've worked with, ten years ago.

"God can cure your autism. Let's pray, together." I don't want to be cured.

"Are you really that different, or do you try to be different?" I'm different and proud! Why don't you live with me, for a month and see how different, I truly am?

"You're lower functioning, than I thought you were." Thank you, for calling me a ret*d.

"People have lives of their own, you know." I have a life of my own, as well. I go out with my friends, five nights a week.

"You'd better make yourself more mainstream, or else you will end up, alone." I've had enough of men! The perfect WP member for me to be paired with is, Sid from 'Flushed Away'. We both have the same babyish issue, regarding our limited choice of underwear. Sid's just a little less discrete, about it. We're both Punk Rockers, as well, so I don't have to be "normal".

"What happened to the old you? You used to be much more fun!" Mods are naturally more fun, than Punk Rockers. Punkers are more mature. It's a fact of life. That doesn't mean I'm not happy. It means that my clothes are darker and my hair's a bit brighter.

err 'freak' certainly springs to mind.

I've grown used to gossip and people such as "friends" I have. I'm guilty of gossiping about them as well, though.

And sometimes I say bad things about them too.

Sometimes I regret it, sometimes I don't.

I don't wish for their friendship, however.

I don't know how dumb they think I am, it certainly alternates.

And I love fragmented nonsense; typing it and reading it.

I've been called selfish a lot, unable to sympathize/empathize (that one is often true though), and yeah, I've been told that the army would be good for me (by someone who doesn't know my problems, though).

A lot of other things were said to me, but it was while I was in a severe depression and a long time ago, and I don't really remember what it was they said, just the general way it made me feel.

Your never amount to anything!

Autistic? mind as well be ret*d!

Whats wrong with you?(my nt brother asks me that a lot !)

Your be a better person if you were only cured of autism!

Your be so much happier if you were only normal!

Your a waste of life!



Those are only six I can think of right now...

_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated