Information gathering

Post Reply New Topic

I noticed something about the way I interact with people that I'm curious about - whether this is something related to AS . . .

Having never been an NT, I have to only assume that they do not think this way based on how they act, but as far as I can tell, when NTs talk to a new person they are getting a general impression of them and gathering information to form a long term relationship (whether it is a friendship or an intimate relationship - I just mean something were they are around the person a lot) if they so choose . . . this is different to what I do . . .

When I meet a new person, or get the chance to just talk to someone for the first time, I collect information about them for three reasons 1) to predict what they will do in the future (i.e. what situations they will handle well or badly, etc . . .) and 2) store information to use to do nice things for them (i.e. this person likes fish, their birthday is in October, and their favorite color is green, etc . . .) 3) this person likes _____ which is something I also like - however, I have no concept that this might lead to a long term relationship . . .
Now, I have never had a successful relationship, so that might be the issue, but it seems like this is an example of the overly logical thought that is so characteristic of AS

When I meet someone for the first time - which is very common these days because I am already known as a geeky, "computer-pro" at college so people ask me about how the schedule or the computers work -, I have a tendency to ask them questions that, most of the time, they consider silly : what their favorite color is, their favorite movie, their favorite number, their birthday, their hobbies (if we have some in common, I will have what I need to talk later), and I make up a sort of database with all these information in case I need them later. This way, after a period of time which is short or long depending on the person, I can sometimes predict how they will react to a situation.

I know that many people have a "first impression" when they meet someone, and that they get information from that, but this is not what I do. I do not really know how I can get information from that.

I think logically, like you.

Loy

That's funny that you say you create a database - I always tell people my brain is like a cheezy police office from a 1940s movie - complete with the broken fan with no cage in the background - and all my information about anything is stored in a series of file cabnets - I just have to get the little man in my brain to access the information fast enough so that I can use it . . .

I do get first impressions of people - but only occassionally - sometimes I will meet someone and get a very good feeling from them and sometimes I will meet someone and get a very bad feeling from them - but this happens very rarely . . .

In fact, I have some difficulties with that because this impression is very subjective and you can not judge a person when you see them for the first time without knowing some things about them.

Loy