Do you get on better with people from other countries?

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Keeno
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21 Apr 2006, 1:54 pm

This question came up when I met my employment advisor this week.

It's an agency that supports people with AS in finding and keeping work. I was brought a leaflet about AS, with various quotes that Aspies said were true of them. With 30 or so quotes, I ticked that virtually all of them were true (which quite left an impression on the adviser).

One of the quotes was: "We find it easier to get on with people in other countries."

One reason it might be true is that in our own culture, people somehow expect us to be the same as them, yet we aren't. If we're abroad, we're expected to be different at any rate, but that's because we're from another country, not because we're Aspies. Could there be any other reasons?

I would say it tends to be true for me. Here in Scotland, in my own culture, naturally I'm looked upon as being somewhat different by most people. And when for instance I travelled in Spain, yes I guess I felt more welcome, at least in certain parts of the country (Barcelona especially was a place where I felt very warmly welcomed). I found it to be pretty much the same when I've gone to Germany, more welcoming. Is this true for most of you in this forum?

But funnily enough, when I go to England, and travel in England, I seem to be much more warmly welcomed than in Scotland. I would have thought that the culture is similar enough, that I would have thought I'd still be considered above all different, but it's not the case.

Is that true for anyone else here? For example, do you find us in Scotland more welcoming if you're English? If you are from the eastern seaboard of the USA, do you find California more welcoming? Etc. etc.



Elanivalae
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21 Apr 2006, 1:59 pm

I think so, for the same reason you mentioned. I loved traveling in Japan because I knew that when people looked at me weirdly, they were attributing my odd behavior to my being a normal foreigner, not to being weird on my own. xD It was a nice change, and I was willing to take more risks in interacting with people because of it.



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21 Apr 2006, 5:03 pm

I realy don't travel much or far but in past jobs I have had a lot contact with people from other contries and got along with them much better than other people in general.


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Aspie1
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21 Apr 2006, 5:54 pm

It seems true for me. I traveled to Israel a few months ago, and my experience with people there was very positive. Everybody seemed nice and genuinely helpful, although the stereotype about Jewish people being opinionated turned out to be true, lol. In my case, the reason for this was cultural. The Mediterranean culture is generally more laid-back and less materialistic than the Western culture. So that reflected on people's attitudes.



Callista
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21 Apr 2006, 9:58 pm

I haven't been out of the country (USA) since I moved here at age six; but I find it rather easier to understand and be understood by other immigrants, exchange students, and people from other cultures. Whether that is because I tend to have few preconceptions about people (I believe this is an Aspie trait) or because both of us expect the other to act somewhat strangely, I don't know; but I do enjoy interacting with people who do not fit into normal American culture.


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FubarGoof
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22 Apr 2006, 10:16 am

One of my friends is Dutch, all the rest of them are expats/immigrants.



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22 Apr 2006, 10:48 am

FWIW, the only real friend I have right now is an internet buddy from the UK. But I doubt that's what you're looking for. I haven't had the pleasure of traveling out of the country yet or meeting many who come from outside the country. But I plan on doing so as soon as I possibly can, traveling that is.



BraveMurderDay
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22 Apr 2006, 11:12 am

Well, when I hear people talk, a lot of the time it's like how nirrti rachelle describes it, the incoherent "WAHWAHWAH" of the adults on those Charlie Brown specials. And people with certain accents are especially tough for me to decipher. So, there are are a number of co-workers I have who are foreign born and less assimilated into America who I could probably be friends with because they won't have the prejudices when I am socially awkward but it's too much of a communication barrier. I have to usually ask them to repeat what they just said four or five times (sometimes their english is a little broken but others can converse with them pretty fluidly). It's easier to not interact altogether because it's embarassing not being able to comprehend.



CockneyRebel
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22 Apr 2006, 12:53 pm

I find that I do get along better with people from other countries and cultures. I feel very close to The British, and two of my Best Friends are Americans. I live in Canada and I was born there.



gortex6
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25 Apr 2006, 8:04 pm

In Iraq I understood the culture better than my peers. On the good side, I guess aspie's lack ethnocentricity and are naturally undemonstrative and phlegmatic; while fighting an insurgency this is a huge advantage. Plus, I also crammed books on the culture and tried to emulate their norms, mores, and values, regardless of what my peer were doing; they were screwing things up :oops:



Bart21
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26 Apr 2006, 12:32 am

It doesn't really make a difference for me.
Altough i do find people from other countrys verry interesting.



Awesomelyglorious
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26 Apr 2006, 6:35 pm

Actually I find the opposite to be true. One problem I have is that I have difficulty understanding people with accents. If a person has an accent then I have great difficulty processing what they say. Also, many of the immigrants I have known are from asia and even though I can get along with them fine they are the smart and arrogant asian immigrants and that sort of angers me. Like I was talking to this one dude from Taiwan and we were talking about clothes prices and had somehow gotten onto the fact that our prices all ended with ".99" and I said it was a psychological deception to make it seem like less money and he commented that they didn't have it in Taiwan because Asians were smart enough to see past such a deception and he pretty much said that white people were dumb. I dunno, but that angered me a bit, he could have just been joking entirely but still. Honestly I think the difference would come from our greater consumer culture and the fact that we do more buying and thus marketing is a big industry here while in Taiwan they would focus more on exports as their source of money.

I guess I haven't had much experiences with the average foreigner though so I don't really know.



Crion87
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27 Apr 2006, 5:35 am

Most of my friends over time have been foreigners of any stripe - from as near (to Australia) as New Zealand, to other places such as Taiwan, to Europe and even Canada. But I have, for some reason (and as you would probably guess) an affinity for the Dutch, due to two very good carers of mine being Dutch. I live in Australia and was born here, but for me, I find the culture I least get along with is the Australian "culture".



Yonae
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27 Apr 2006, 7:29 am

Crion87 wrote:
Most of my friends over time have been foreigners of any stripe - from as near (to Australia) as New Zealand, to other places such as Taiwan, to Europe and even Canada. But I have, for some reason (and as you would probably guess) an affinity for the Dutch, due to two very good carers of mine being Dutch. I live in Australia and was born here, but for me, I find the culture I least get along with is the Australian "culture".


My husband is from the US. My close friends are New Zealander.

The thing with about Australian culture my husband has noticed is that Australian guys have tried to befriend him with insults and slurs directly highlighting the difference between him and them (which is obviously his accent and country of origin) as a form of bonding. This is part of the "Aussie way". For example a red haired person here earns the nickname "blue or bluey". I think AS's and foreigners do take the slurs in the litteral sense rather than see any effort of trying to forge a genuine friendship with them. I digress, it is easier for people to accept you the way you are if you aren't in the country you came from.


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hale_bopp
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27 Apr 2006, 8:04 am

I can't say I do.

I get on with people in New Zealand WAY better than people off the internet.. but when I went to Australia I liked them, they seemed cool.

New Zealanders aren't very friendly so I have problems with them too.



jimmyp-1
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28 Apr 2006, 1:04 pm

I get along with people from foriegn countries for (what I believe to be) 3 reasons:

1. The reason in the original post
2. I am fascinated by other cultures and [try to be] respectful
3. All the AS stuff about how we don't [generally] adhere to social hierarchies (sp) and norms, some of which include having a fear/apprehension when it comes to foriegners.

Not to say that all NTs are mean to foriegners and all Aspies aren't. To do so would be making a generalization, and would be recursively hypocritical.