Better ways of dealing with anxiety in public

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Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 2:08 pm

When I panic or get frustrated with things I start biting my hand really hard. It's better than hitting myself on the head which I sometimes do, but it's painful and leaves teeth marks in my hands. It's usually due to noise or not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing and there's nowhere else to go so I panic and don't know how else to deal with it.
Does anyone know of any way I can calm myself down or something when I panic so I don't do this? It's almost always when I'm in public or somewhere where I can't escape so I don't know what to do. I should probably stop though because it hurts a bit, but I can't really prevent it from happening if I can't control my surroundings etc.



DogDancer
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23 Apr 2007, 3:11 pm

SoS, hi.

I started doing hatha yoga a couple years ago. I find that when I am really stressed, if I do deep breathing -- in through the nose, out through the mouth -- several times, whether it's for a few seconds or a minute or two, I can tone down the worst of the anxious feelings. It helps if I close my eyes. If I'm not somewhere where I feel I can close my eyes, I just sort of unfocus them to block out stimulus. Also, if I'm somewhere loud, I try to just focus on hearing/feeling my breathing and let the chaotic noise around me just flow over me like white noise.

Your hand-biting thing sounds like it's automatic, but the next time you catch yourself starting to do it, instead, try what I said above. Consciously replace the hand thing with the above. It'll take a little practice before you can make the breathing thing as automatic as the hand thing, but it will hurt less and ultimately be more calming and healthful.

Good luck.

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23 Apr 2007, 3:17 pm

you tried a stressball in the pocket? You can also get some climbing excersise grip things, which are tougher than most stressballs I have seen. I think metolius make one...



Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 3:20 pm

Thanks. I will try the breathing and I'll get a stressball as well - I fidget with my hands a lot when I get nervous so that might help with that too. I know it's not majorly important or anything, it's not like I'm cutting myself or something. But it's bloody painful anyway.
I think it is automatic, when I was younger I bit something when I was angry and my tooth came out.
It could be worse though, at least I only bite myself and not other people. :)



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23 Apr 2007, 3:22 pm

if i go somewhere thats loud, i'll start having a flipout. i can pretty much deal with crowds just not too noisy


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Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 3:32 pm

It's mainly little noises that bother me, like someone chewing really loudly in lectures when I'm trying to concentrate. I always get the urge to bang my head on the table or kick the wall really hard, but I don't. I guess biting my hand really hard is the only way I can think of to control it. It makes me feel like I'm going insane.



DingoDv
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23 Apr 2007, 3:45 pm

Busy shopping centres and supermarkets send me loopy. there are just so many people going different ways, and all of that bleeping from the scanners too - i think acoustics may be bad is most supermarkets as well.
If you like the biting have you tried chewing something, maybe beef jerky if you can cope with the wierd taste/smell.



Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 3:49 pm

I don't like shopping centres either, it's ok when they're quiet but I hate it when it's busy. I've noticed I clench my teeth a lot as well, sometimes to the point where my jaw really aches, so it probably is a biting thing. But it's weird, because I don't really like chewing. I've tried chewing gum but it usually just makes me feel like I'm either going to be sick or I'm about to choke on it.



gekitsu
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23 Apr 2007, 3:56 pm

thats funny... now that you mention it, i think i know why i clench and unclench my jaw all the time. its coming and going all by itself, i will have to try actively looking for it. it could well be that it comes with inner-retreat-mode.
clench/unclench, or clench left/clench right for all the years... gave me a muscular jaw that made the assistant at my dentist shiver when he said "now bite... hard"

i guess, too, that something to relieve stress physically, in an agressive way, might work for you. if you find a really tough stressball (or similar), let me know :)



Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 4:01 pm

gekitsu wrote:
thats funny... now that you mention it, i think i know why i clench and unclench my jaw all the time. its coming and going all by itself, i will have to try actively looking for it. it could well be that it comes with inner-retreat-mode.
clench/unclench, or clench left/clench right for all the years... gave me a muscular jaw that made the assistant at my dentist shiver when he said "now bite... hard"

i guess, too, that something to relieve stress physically, in an agressive way, might work for you. if you find a really tough stressball (or similar), let me know :)

I will do :)
I think I'm going to have a look on the internet because I rarely go to shops.
It will probably help me a lot for when I got back to university.



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23 Apr 2007, 4:04 pm

Sopho_Soph wrote:
When I panic or get frustrated with things I start biting my hand really hard. It's better than hitting myself on the head which I sometimes do, but it's painful and leaves teeth marks in my hands. It's usually due to noise or not knowing what I'm supposed to be doing and there's nowhere else to go so I panic and don't know how else to deal with it.
Does anyone know of any way I can calm myself down or something when I panic so I don't do this? It's almost always when I'm in public or somewhere where I can't escape so I don't know what to do. I should probably stop though because it hurts a bit, but I can't really prevent it from happening if I can't control my surroundings etc.



thats what i do...i've broken the skin. :cry:


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Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 4:09 pm

blackcat wrote:
thats what i do...i've broken the skin. :cry:

I've been getting worse with it lately. It might be exams, it probably correlates with stress or something, the more anxious I get. Just this afternoon I was sat downstairs. The radio was on upstairs so I didn't want to be up there and then my step-dad started eating a cake (he's diabetic and has to eat when his blood sugar level gets too low or something.) It was like someone was repeatedly hitting me on the head with a bat or something though. So I didn't know of any other way of dealing with it. No one else seems to understand how things like that make me feel, and I don't want to start criticising other people because they're not actually doing anything wrong, just eating. :?
I'm complaining too much now anyway so I'll stop.



Bubbleman
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23 Apr 2007, 4:24 pm

When I was at Uni if anyone started whispering or messing about during lectures I'd say to the lecturer "Sorry, could you stop talking because I can't hear what these people behind me are saying". It usually worked but it was a bit confrontational so I'd end up even more agitated! I suppose the most direct way is to just turn round and ask them to be quiet but we all know thats a no-no for some reason. Rudeness or bad manners are so out of order.



DingoDv
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23 Apr 2007, 4:28 pm

I love that - out of interest, do you do it with a sarcastic voice or try to at least (i think my sarcasm is often lost as regular me)



Sopho
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23 Apr 2007, 4:28 pm

Bubbleman wrote:
When I was at Uni if anyone started whispering or messing about during lectures I'd say to the lecturer "Sorry, could you stop talking because I can't hear what these people behind me are saying". It usually worked but it was a bit confrontational so I'd end up even more agitated! I suppose the most direct way is to just turn round and ask them to be quiet but we all know thats a no-no for some reason. Rudeness or bad manners are so out of order.

I want to do that a lot but I'd be too nervous I think. Also, I sit right at the back because of sensory problems and I have trouble projecting my voice, so I doubt the lecturer would hear me. Someone did that in the library a few weeks ago when people were talking and it seemed to work. i was just relieved they did it and not me though :)
I try to be subtle about it and keep looking over at them in the hope that they'll realise they're irritating people and stop. Never seems to work though.



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23 Apr 2007, 4:37 pm

Yeah, I've tried the staring tactic but it doesn't work hence the outburst. It takes a while to get to it but eventually you just have to vent. I don't know about the sarcasm coming through via the tone of voice, to me the comment itself is just sarcastic and is meant to go for the jugular. Once you've stuck your head above the parapet you feel a bit of a chump - at least I did, but then I always do if I speak out in public. Catch 22.