I was very fortunate that my son was diagnosed fairly early, at the age of seven, almost ten years ago. Fortunately, the pediatric neurologist my clueless family doctor sent him to was South African and had trained in Europe, where AS was officially recognized for decades before it was recognized here. Otherwise, it would have likely taken much longer and meant a lot more needless suffering for my son.
We had suspected something long before his diagnosis. The doc was wonderful, too, answering all my questions, explaining it very well, but with compassion and understanding and even affinity. He made me feel my son was special, and not some freak. He said he found AS/ASD individuals to be always fascinating and enjoyed all the variations he saw in them. Too bad some of his future teachers, classmates and others couldn't have felt the same way.
My own learning disability was not diagnosed until I was in high school, even though my teacher parents had always suspected something was up. I have an extremely high, near genius level, verbal IQ, but my nonverbal IQ is extremely low. The psych said she'd almost never seen such a wide gap between the two, and was impressed with how my brain had "compensated" for it. Well, fine and dandy, but when I think of all the missed opportunities, as you put it, it's rather sobering. I know it's a matter of timing, had I been born even ten or fifteen years later than I was, I would have been tested and "discovered" at a much younger age when more could have been done about it. And I know I have some overlapping ASD traits, as they put it and as would probably be obvious in person.
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Queen of the anti-FAAAS. FAAAS does NOT speak for me and many other families!!
Life is not about waiting out storms, but learning to dance in the rain-Anonymous