Empathy problem?

Post Reply New Topic

I was with my mum today and I was waiting while she chatted to someone we knew (not well, but we're on friendly terms with them and talk sometimes) and I heard the other person tell my mum that she'd had cancer recently. They caught it before it spread too far, but she hasn't had the all clear yet. I knew this was bad and sad and upsetting, but I didn't feel upset. I just felt bad for not feeling upset or sad or worried when I knew I should.

This is the same when I read things in the newspapers about people being killed and things and I know it's bad, but I don't seem to feel really bad like other people do. I feel more like I should do when someone tells me themselves that something has happened to them, but I still feel a bit uncaring. I do care, but I don't feel upset like others seem to, and then I feel bad at myself because I don't feel what I should. I don't know if this makes any sense or not.

But when my parents feel bad I feel very bad. Same with my friends. And when my driving instructor died, I cried a bit.

So, I don't really understand

I think this happens with everybody. When strangers die, you don't really care because you didn't know them. Especially when people die you don't know very well but you feel sorry for them and for their friends and family but not sad or upset.

I can remember when my next door neighbors' friend's child drowned in Wyoming, I didn't feel sad, neither did my family because we didn't know the family well enough but our neighbors were very sad.


I have learned in my teen years what to say when people tell me a bad thing like if someone in their family has died, or their pet, etc. I say "I'm sorry."

I've heard the "I'm sorry" response before and still can't understand why people say that. I can't understand why you should apologise unless you personally caused the "bad thing" to happen.

LL

Greyhound, hope all goes well with your Mum's friend and that she gets the all clear soon

Lack of empathy is an autism and aspergers trait, nothing to feel bad about just part of who you are. Me and my son are total opposites when it comes to empathy, I have lots he has almost none.

A: I don't get the whole "I'm sorry" thing either. My response to that is usually 'Don't be; you didn't do it'.

B: I have been thinking about that exact thing!

I've learned all of the correct responses (I think) to different types of bad (or good) news but I'm not really feeling the emotions that others seem to be.

I truly thought it was just me.

Whew!!

My mum was really surprised and a bit shocked and concerned about it. I was concerned too, but when we were talking about it, I said that it's horrible (which is kind of obvious, but you're expected to say something and I didn't want to look/sound like I didn't care because I did, but I didn't feel anything really).

sorry i know this is off topic but i have to ask something

greyhound did you used to go to swanshurst

ps i hope your moms friend will get better soon

Woah, freaky

Yes I did. Your name wouldn't happen to begin with an 'L' would it?

yep it would

how are you these days

its good to see you agen

Last edited by crimebabe on 11 Apr 2008, 5:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

F*** this is weird

By the way, please don't use my real name on the internet (except in private)

It's great to 'see' you too!! !! !! ! I'm fine thanks. How are you?

oops sarz darlin

yh im good thanx

im moving to wales at the end of september

what have you been upto??

That's okay. No! You can't move to Wales Although it is nice there

I haven't been up to much, unfortunately. I've got a car though

My friend is too busy to anything most of the time, so I'm sort of left on my own and I haven't got much to do.

What have you been doing?

awesome what car do you have

well if you have nothing planned for a bit we should maybe meet up and chat bout the good old days

just college and gigs

Light blue J-reg 1991 Ford Fiesta 3-door 1.1

I love it and paid for it with a lot of hard work. Then four weeks later, someone wrote it off by reversing into it without looking

The door still has a dent in it and you can't open and close it properly and you can't open the window. At least I can still drive it. I love it because it has a manual choke and no power steering. It also has a dodgy oil filter cap and dodgy gears and a cracked bumper and the driver's seat has a loose bolt which can't be tightened and it's very squeaky but overall, I love it

aww poor car

stick by the old girl

lol i just realized i have hi jacked the topic oh well

Don't worry - it's great to 'see' you again!

Well, must go to bed now...