I'm a stalker?

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I'm looking back and I'm realizing I've seriously creeped out some girls in my life. I have a tendency to stare you see. There are two girls I've noticed that I've made uncomfortable.
A third actually accused me of being a stalker, which was strange because I wasn't attracted to her at all. And I wonder if I've done this and not realized it in some instances.
I'm a lot better with these things now.
Can anyone else relate to this?

We tend to be so hyperfocused and over zealous about things, I think that we can look like stalkers on occasion.

LOL Yes-I'm a starer- there is no hiding this.
I used to stare at peoples' chest area or crotch when I was talking to them. Then suddenly I realized (in college) that this bothered people and I switched to staring them directly in the eyes, or staring at their mouths as they speak.
This is probably only slightly less creepy.

Stalker is overused as an insult these days. Staring at someone is invasive and at times, rude. But stalking is when you follow them, go to their homes or wherever they work, socialize or study-and it's against their will.
Stalking includes obsessive behavior where you actually believe you are in a relationship with the person when you aren't. You eventually try control the person out of jealousy and belief you know better or that you what's good for them.

Staring, awkwardly talking to them or asking them out is not stalking.

I really dislike being considered a stalker or even a freak. I don't want many people to fear me instead of understand me. But, I can't always get what I want.

yes they do miss use them, why they is allot of problems when people really mean the words

observing a person's actions closely for an extended period of time ( since they probably read wiki. )

Don't you hate that?

I look back and I see women that I creeped out, and I still can't even say why exactly. (I get the rough details, but not the fine points that make them make sense... i.e., my jokes weren't taken as jokes, but I don't know why other people make the same jokes and not get seen as creepy.)

The other one is looking back and realising that there were very cute women practically throwing themselves at me, and I just missed it.

Then there's all the times where I look back and see that I was a fool, a jerk, or an utter obscenity. The good news is that I think NTs do this to. Something to do with adulthood, from what I understand.

So how often did you have to ice down guys who got all interested because of it?

Erm...I never noticed I was doing it until someone called me on it.

I totally did something like that in 8th grade.

I just wanted her to notice me and she thought I was following her.

I have been called a stalker before. I guess I mighta been stalking just a little bit...

I have only done it to one person. I didn't mean any harm, I was just seriously needing closeure. I just left him a few notes...it was a very difficult to deal with obsession I had with one person who I had dated....Also, i didn't mean to follow them around...we just kept turning up at same place at the same time on accident...thus adding to my stigma as his stalker. I will never stalk anyone again....

I was falsely accused of stalking when I was at a technical school years ago and it sucks. It's a lynch mob mentality without regard to the actual merit of the charge. I paid a visit to an attorney who told me being awkward at attempting a social relationship is not stalking.

Last edited by Silver_Meteor on 23 Jan 2008, 12:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

I stare.
I stare into the middle distance and if someone is in eyeshot between me and that middle distance it is they who think they are being stared at.

when I was in college, (I was 43 years old my first time in college,) I watched the lecturer move their mouths and their faces while they talked and would practice with my own face. I got called down for it and they were sorta disarmed by my clueless apology rather than the hostile faces making jerk they thought I was.

I stare at a person's eyes. It is sorta like looking into the sun, or maybe at an out of focus TV and sometimes makes me sorta sick at my stomach. But what are you going to do? people look at each other's eyes. After a bout 20 years of that, someone said I should blink or look away now and then because it creeped them out.

Merle

If someone stares directly into my eyes and it's serious, I will not return the stare not because of any physical effects but because to me it comes across as a confrontation rather than trying to work together to find a solution.

If I try to return the stare and reciprocate with that glaring look (I will have a strong urge to crack a smile) then someone will think I am bullshitting them which I am not. I am not sure if this is an Aspie thing or not.

i have been accused of staring at people even ones i know andi havent even realised that theyre there

I ahd a guy accuse me of staring. I wasn't even looking at him. it was in a class I particularly disliked and he sat in front of the clock. I was looking at the time. he kept saying I was staring. he even got his girlfriend on me in the class saying everyone found it creepy how I was staring at him, and I should stop. she started yelling at me. and then the class after, one of his friends started yelling at me saying "what?! are you going to stare at me too?!" and he even told the teacher i was harassing him.