Hi. I'm 22 year old female and I'm looking for some help and advice. For the longest time I thought I had some combination of ADHD and OCD. I even discussed this with a high school guidance counselor and they said it sounded like ADHD but as I've gotten older I have learned more things and I wonder if it's something different. When I came across aspergers tonight a lot of it sounded so much like how I felt that I was amazed.
I hoenstly don't like lables and I don't know if I would actually go and get help for this but I would like to try and do some self help, maybe talk to people with similar experiences and see how they've dealt with it. I'm also open to suggestions of good books. I really don't want to change who I am but I want to cope with it all better because it has effected my life and I really would like to get a good job and move out of my parents house but I feel that things things get in the way sometimes.
These are some facts about me, I'm sorry its so long but I wanted to be thorough:
I can't stand not being able to do things the way I've planned them in my head. I don't have an actual scheduele, but as an example, if I have a few tasks I want to get done I plan them out in my head in what order and how I want to do them in and if something or someone changes that plan I get frustrated and normally either don't do any of the tasks or I forget half the things I planned on doing.
I easily get overwhelmed. It always feels like theres too much to get done or too much going on even though I don't really have that many responsibilities and I have a good amount of privacy. My mind just feels PACKED with things.
I very easily get distracted. I can't do more than one thing at a time.
It is easy for me to forget "normal" things like a persons name or what I watched on television last night but I remember random things like what someone was wearing or exactly how something smelled. It feels like all of my memories are visual and not verbal as if the video in my mind of my past is a silent movie.
I have an over active immagination.
I have no patience and a hard time explaining things to people.
I absolutely hate being touched and will cringe or go into a panic attack if someone touches me.
I have more sympathy for animals than people and connect better with animals as well.
I would rather do everything alone and have no strong desire for friends or a boyfriend. I have felt that way ever since I was a kid.
Its hard for me to understand relationships, I don't know why people play certain "games" or keep secrets from each other. I don't understand why people don't just tell each other how they really feel or exactly what they mean.
I trust no one. I had a talk about this tonight with a friend which is what made me start looking things up about what I was going through. I told her I didn't trust her even though as far as I know she has never done anything to make me not trust her. I automatically assume that people are going to hurt me, lie to me, or do something bad to me and my friend says this is not normal.
I'm a picky eater. I'm vegan (for mostly ethical reasons) but I'll only eat pretty bland food, no salt or pepper and I'd be happy eating the same thing every day though my mom wouldn't let me get away with that.
I like thinking of connections between things. I'll look at numbers on a license plate and add them up to letters on a phone and try to figure out what they spell or change the numbers to letters. I like finding out when people were born and seeing who else was born that day or what things happened that day or what the numbers of their birth means or add up to. I can spend hours online looking this stuff up or trying to find connections through out the day.
I can talk about the same thing or keep up the same "joke" for long lengths of time and will bring it up over and over again because I still find it interesting or funny even when other people tell me "enough is enough".
When I am in a social situation or talking to a friend online I enjoy talking about myself and have to try to remind myself to make sure I've asked questions about the other person or am paying attention to what they're saying or doing. It's hard for me to pay attention or know what to say when other people are talking, I always feel like I say the wrong thing so it's much easier to talk about myself though I never talk about deeply personal things, just my hobbies and interests.
I find it hard not to correct people and they usually get angry at me for this when I think I'm just doing them a favor by telling them the actual facts.
There are a lot of little "quirks" I have that seem to fall into the OCD category. I can't allow silverware to cross on the table. I wash my hands many times a day, sometimes I think if I don't pick something up or move something a certain way a bad thing will happen.
15 Apr 2008, 3:20 am
