Does anyone else have this problem? (All eyes on you)

Post Reply New Topic

I work in a very large room... 108 cubicles. It's not completely occupied, but the point is scale, not population. The break room-- where the soda and snack machines, coffeemaker, microwaves, and fridges are-- is on the other side of this room. Anytime I walk across the room, I feel like everyone is watching me. I don't see anyone looking at me, but I'm very aware of how I walk (which is a bit goofy) and/or however I am carrying anything in my hands. In my head, everyone is looking at me and wondering what's wrong with me.

There's no evidence of this, I should clarify, and I have this problem in other contexts.

Is this an Aspie thing, or just paranoia?

I have this problem, also not sure if it is an Aspie thing or what. People used to say I must be conceited to think that everyone was looking at me but I don't believe it in a "look how awesome I am!" kind of looking. More of a judging thing... But like you, when I actually take a look around, no one is actually looking at me. I just feel very aware of their eyes, aware of the possibility of them looking at me.

Are we talking human beings here or are you starting to become aware of another level of existence?

Just a thought.

Humans. The invisible creatures and I have made our peace.

Oh, yeah, another thing... I tend to react when people laugh as if they're laughing at me, unless I know otherwise.

I'm not sure if this is related to AS or not.

I used to think that everyone was watching me. I also thought that anyone walking behind me was following me! Even if people were far away from me, if they just glanced at me it seemed as if they were right next to me trying to pick information out of me...if that makes any sense at all.
I read in one of my psych reports last year..."displays signs of paranoia", so I think it is paranoia related.

Yea, I have that problem too. It's really bad when I'm driving, and theres a car in the lane right behind me... and he STAYS. I ALWAYS stick to whatever lane I'll be needing to leave next, so I mentally cannot push myself to get away. It really bothers me, even though I try not to let it.

And I think the 'everyone is staring' thing is part of the reason I keep my head down in public places. If I don't see them, maybe they caint see me...

Well, my psych reports listed lots of aspie symptoms-- although this was before the term "Asperger's Syndrome" has been coined.

That's what it is to be extremely self-conscious... lack of confidence does that... I've experienced that feeling too..

YES, and I HATE it! I usually stare at the ground when I walk.

I feel this when I'm feeling uncertain or insecure about where I am or what I am doing. So, I think it's paranoia linked with insecurity. Nowadays, I just try to act like I belong wherever I'm at, and that slightly diminshes the feeling. Also, I have learned that becoming acutely aware of every nerve and movement in my body is a sure signal that sensory overload is imminent. Have you considered that?

Yes,but they usually are looking at me and then i i look and see people looking at me i wonder what to do.My mother tells me i should make eye contact and smile and say hi but i don't want to.I get such a horrible feeling of eye contact i can blur my eye sight and it looks like i'm doing the eye contact thing but that also meens i can't see well at all and i also hate things that are unexpected.

If it were seriously paranoia, wouldn't you be afraid these people were going to do something to you, rather than just look at you? I do understand that feeling of being stared at, though - it's why for years I wouldn't go to restaurants. Still will only haunt the same few over and over. But I decided if people are staring, it's only boredom, like sheep grazing and staring vacantly, not really seeing, or perhaps they think I'm cute.

I think Tony Attwood goes into how autistic people can develop something that can be misread as paranoia but is in fact a totally logical response to having actually experienced being treated a certain way all the time.

Personally, I think that the part about feeling like people are watching you is what most people call "self-consciousness", and is common to lots of people, including many non-autistic people, especially shy ones or ones who lack self-confidence in certain areas. I've heard of it a lot, also, among people who are "passing" -- as in poor people trying to pass for middle-class, gay people trying to pass for straight, etc. They feel like everyone must see them, and see through them -- I think Erving Goffman describes this in his book Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity.

Feeling like laughter must be at you sounds like a remnant of being bullied a lot, it'd probably be common in autistic people but also anyone else who's been a target a lot for whatever reason.

I used to have that problem. I used to feel that people were looking at me, as if I were some loser. Now I feel that people look at me, and make comments about how they wouldn't want to mess with me, which is a good thing. :O)

I also should note that I have the opposite problem: I can't tell when people are staring unless I myself am completely immobile (which is rarely practical). I've heard my whole life, "Don't you see people are staring?!?!" or else stories that ended in something like "And everyone in the whole place started staring at her, and she kept doing it!"

The other day at work, I stopped by the 'goodie' table where people leave brownies or soup or chips or pretzels for general snacking and I picked up a bottle of Starbucks 'frappachino' that was next to a bottle of Lipton's green tea beverage. I picked it up and went back to my desk and then another person went right over and picked up the Lipton's .
Someone asked that person 'why did you get the green tea' and four. . 4! people turned around and said over the cubicle walls "because MERLE TOOK THE STARBUCKS!" And the other person said " so I thought it was ok, too!" ( and it was, very ok, it turned out later, they were put there for whomever wanted them)

I was floored, (as in shocked!) Not because I had taken it, but because my every move was watched and registered and commented upon! I was selling my privacy for a $2.50 bottle of (warm) Frappichino. I was immediately thrown into internal panic as I remember every nose blow, every yawn, every burp after lunch. I didn't recall any such normal bodily functions from around me, so I must be the only one that does these things and they all are aware of my (gasp) humanity!

I really tried to laugh it off. . make it a joke to myself, but I really wanted to put the Starbuck's back and hide from the scrutiny of so many eyes observing my actions.
whew! It is such a struggle just to exist at work, let alone do the work, too!

Merle