Is there any way I can go back?

Post Reply New Topic

A few weeks ago, my mom more or less kicked me out because I went to go visit my dad. Our relationship was going great before it, and she just got really mad this time. Like the social worker asked, and basically she said she didn't like how she was the one stuck with raising us, yet whenever a break came up we always wanted to visit him, and she wanted to go somewhere with us sometime (Which everytime a break did come up, she never actually did anything she said she was going to do.) Basically, long story short, when I came back most of my stuff was gone, my mom signed her parental rights to me on a sheet of paper, and the only choice I had was to go live with my dad. I really loved my old high school, the teachers were amazing, the students were really great, and I had so many opportunities at my disposal. I absolutely despise my new school. I know, everyone says you can get used to it and everything, but isn't anything for me here. They're losing accreditation, and I lost honors classes transfer. The only choice would be for my dad to move, but he can't before the next school year. All the schools seem about the same here too. I hate it here so much I feel manically depressed most of the time when I think I can't go back. It's to the point where it's oftentime hard to concentrate in class, or sleep at home. That's another story, though. What can I do to go back that doesn't lose my dad his parental rights?

My dad's in GA, my mom's in CA. It's not in the courts yet. What are my options? I need to do something to get back. I just feel so down all the time here, because I had so much going for me. Nearly straight As, I was in leadership positions or close to them in 4-5 clubs, and the kids were actually there to learn, not just play around all the time. I just don't see how it can ever be considered okay to throw your son out because he wants to visit his dad every few months for a few days.

It's not in the courts that my dad has sole custody also. Anything I can do? I'm not moving RIGHT now, most likely in the summer if there's anything I can do. I only have one aunt and uncle near the school and they have two daughters, I don't think I'd be able to stay there two years.

wow...... that's really irresponsible of her. im sorry.

1) How old are you?
2) You need legal advice - or your father needs to get legal advice.


My thought is that if you're very young (under 16) and your mother has legal physical custody, she's going to be in deep doo-doo with the court. If you're over 16, given California law as I know it, the court could order her to take you back but your life would not be the same with her forced to take you in.

Best of luck. Really. Have you talked to your Dad about this? You really should.

I'm 16, and my dad knows that's what I want, and he'd be fine with it. He sees how miserable I am. I may just have to get legal advice.

I agree that if she's forced to take you back, it wouldn't work.

If you were a straight A student, then you can be in GA too. I would get yourself settled, and give it your all. You sound very self-reflective, and you know the deal. You can either make it work, or not. It must not have been working, for whatever reason, with your mom. Were you fighting alot? Your mom can't take care of you right now (this is apparent). I would get it straight that you have no choice.

Be thankful you have a dad who is welcoming, and stop thinking about returning. I would move forward.

What about a private school? Would your dad consider? Your mom would have to pay 1/2.

equinn

I don't know the laws, but that really sucks. I kinda know how you feel. My parents moved me from Washington to Kentucky when I was 12. Not only did I not want to go, schools in the south are horrible! And adjusting to the cultural and social changes from the west to the south was not easy. Once I finaly was doing ok, my grades were back up, and I had a few friends, we moved back to Washington when I was 15. That was equally hard to readjust and deal with class transfers and stuff.
My sympathys, man. Hopefully this will all work out for you in one way or another.

Well, that's the thing. It was working with my mom, very well at that, except when it came to visiting my dad. Whenever I asked she'd get kinda pissed, and this time I guess it was just like the last straw. I don't know if she's bipolar or anything, but it just...everything was going really great actually. She was really trying to help me out with alot of things in life and she was very accomodating. I don't know if she knows anything about Asperger's, but I think she really understood I was different and tried her best to be really caring. Even when my dad came out there to visit, I don't think it was that much of a problem. Now that I'm with my dad however, it's a completely different story. Instead of coming with loving arms, he came with this attitude that all of this was my fault, and that I need some serious "correcting". Which really sucked, because I wasn't too sure about asking her to go because I wasn't sure I really should go, but he talked me into asking.

And When coming to him about my Asperger's, even though I pushed him to get me an appointment with a local psycologist, he gave me his whole "There's nothing wrong with you, you just think you do." and all this. I don't know, maybe I don't. I'd rather go to Emory and get an official word. But right now, I've been doing some serious reflecting, like I shouldn't have went in Spring Break. She was threatening to kick me out if I went (I take the train to the airport), and I'm thinking I was really stupid to listen to him and go, especially for such a short time. And I'm thinking, which one is really the controlling one, and which one is the right one? Now I honestly wish I never went in the first place.

Yeah, there aren't any private schools around here. The public school's also losing accreditation at that next school year most likely. Shouldn't the courts rule in the best interests of my education?

I don't know, think I should just apologize profusely to her? She signed me away on a blank sheet of paper, to the courts she still has primary custody to me. She hasn't changed anything. My dad's still sending child support to her even.

I definitely plan on doing that one. Write a letter to her. That's easy. I can be completely sincere about it. I just really feel like everything was okay there.

And I'm being 100% honest. There isn't much more to the story. She told my dad that she kicked me out because I didn't clean up enough. I cleaned up often (oftentime her stuff), and while I admit I could've done more, I don't see that as a reason to kick out a child.

Aside from the issue of which parent you live with:

You have more options than the simple choice between going to public school and trying to get a scholarship to private school (full scholarships do exist - could be an option).

You can self-school, and there are many different ways to do this. There are structured online schools, even at the high school level. My brother did this for a year in the 90s; I imagine there are more options now than there were then. You can also do something like traditional homeschooling except that you're in charge of it (also called "self-schooling"). I volunteered at a community center for home-schooled and self-schooled kids when I was in college so I know these options exist.

You could also try to start college early. I skipped the last year of high school and started college early. Officially, I'm a high school dropout with a B.A. A large, traditional university let me do this because I did well academically in high school. For all I know, I could be the only student that university has ever accepted in that manner. There are also less traditional colleges that routinely let students leave high school early to start college. Some have high tuition, but there is a lot of financial aid available, especially if take the time to investigate all your options.

Best of luck!

WOW.

That was really crappy of her.

That being said, I love GA. I know that isn't helpful though How much more school do you have?? Because it sounds like your mother is unstable which means you'll be out on your own at 18 anyway, and CA is not the sunshiney gold-paved street the rest of the world would like to believe. It is TOUGH making it on your own in CA. I think you'd be better off in GA, what with their expanding and growth and boom and whatnot. Lots of jobs, cost of living is lower, housing is easier to attain/cheaper. In the long run you'd be better off in GA.

I guess you just have to weigh your priorities. Good luck.