Can a Leopard Ever Change Some Spots?

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I'm not saying having AS is a bad thing at all. I'm talking about some of the painful quirks that go along with it.

Aspies always bring up the problem the trouble they have of keeping a good eye contact. I defintitely had these problems when I was little and was never aware of it till many close relatives brought this up. My sister was a good example of that. I now am very comfortable giving eye contact to strangers, but I don't know why. This thought made me ponder, can one change some things about themselves not just the quirks but the emotions that go along with it?

I know I'll probably never get through them, the loud noises, multi-tasking, chaos, and etc. If I had one wish though, it would be to stop getting detached on an intimate or somewhat emotional level with people. I treasure friendship but on the other hand, I've ruined a lot of them. Probably from being oblivious and the insecurity of feeling "different."

Lately, since I got on this site, I've noticed in my posts that I use a lot of humor or cynicism (good or bad) when it comes to expressing any thoughts or ideas. It really gets uncomfortable to get real on what I'm feeling or what's really been going on in life. This quirk or whatever has been a real drag to me and to potential relationships since the day I became a kid. I wish I could change that part about me. If I did, I wonder, would I notice it, just like my first example.

Well I could go on and on about this stuff and when will I ever stop getting so wordy? Can anyone relate at all?

I know I'd like to figure out how to keep from having meltdowns. I'd also love to find a way to modulate my sensory issues - to be able to vacuum the house without it hurting my ears, for example, or be out in hot weather for more than five minutes without feeling scattered and on the verge of meltdown.

It's possible. At least for me personally. These days, I am comfortable making eye-contact, for example. It doesn't always come naturally, and sometimes the effort is conscious, but it's not a "problem" for me anymore.

- D

Isn't this topic supposed to be about a leopard changing its spots?

Even if the spots disappear it is still a leopard!

I think it's a metaphor.

I can maintain eye contact at will but it's doesn't come naturally. One thing I would like to change is my social skills. I know I preach "non-conformity" this and "I don't want to be accepted" that but the truth is I want at least one person to accept me, a lady. However, my mediocre social skills turn people off towards me. I do however believe that this or pretty much any other quirk can be changed but we'll always be aspies, and I'm happy with that.

If you let one person like & accept you, they all will. The floodgates will open and you won't be able to stop it. Get the girl and you'll lose all your hard-earned non-acceptance and non-comformity cred. Don't be one of these people who rebel so long and hard that eventually their rebellion loses scope.

*bump*

I would imagine that it is possible for a leopard to change its spots if it had new spots added or old ones removed by tattooing, but tattooing a leopard sounds like tricky business. It would have to be restrained and muzzled so it doesn't scratch and bite the tattoo artist to death.

Oh... Your fault for using a metaphor on an aspie board.

I can relate, I think... I'm not very good with metaphors. I do write too much sometimes, though. I am definitely better at eye contact than I used to be and I'm pretty sure that's because I started practicing when I learned that eye contact is supposedly important. The bit about how you use a lot of humor and cynicism a lot when expressing your thoughts because it's uncomfortable to get real with what I really think sounds very similar to me. I'm not exactly going to give up the humor, though. Life is less painful if you don't take it too seriously is what I've found.

The "painful quirks" can be overcome, yes. But I doubt they are much like a leopard changing it's spots. More like, camouflaging them. For instance training yourself to make eye contact isn't the same as removing the inability to maintain regular eye contact. it is merely consciously deciding to control your eyes. I have never had too much trouble with eye contact... my problem is more the drill like stare.... so please, correct me if I am wrong.

As for emotions that go along with it... emotions themselves can not be controlled. They are the subconscious reaction to our values. A lightning calculator of our pre-conceptual judgment of any given situation. If you believe you are somehow deficient for not being able to make eye contact, your emotions will respond in kind by making your "feel" guilty, or sad, or angry, or hurt etc... As such they are very changeable. I used to beat myself up all the time about being unable to change my routine, or for my lack of friends. Or for any number of things I thought I should have been able to do, but could not.

So you will most likely find that if you employed introspection you would discover the thought patterns and value system behind those emotions. And thoughts can be changed. And as they change and become automated... the emotional response will change to suit. So, at least in that respect, a leapord can change it's spots. Or, more accurately, they can change how they view there spots.... with either acceptance or shame, joy or disgust, etc...

As far as changing the ACTUAL spots themselves.. no, I don't believe they will ever change. Only the opinion of those spots. The spots might fade with age, or change shape slightly, but they'll be there, always.


Apart from that.. yes I can relate.

I don't think that will happen as long I still oppose the ways of the sheep. I could really care less what they think of me. All I want is to be #1 in my lady's life!