Interest in the planning, but not the doing
Does anyone else have this. I almost always find that I can get intensely interested in the idea of being interested in something, but when it comes to carrying out the interest I either get bored or have to force myself and it becomes a chore rather than enjoyable.
Some examples. When I was a kid I was into horses and I made a list of horses names, one for each colour, in reverse order of preference. I enjoyed looking at this list and decided I would pretend to be riding each horse in turn, but I never got beyond the first horse on the list (my least favorite colour) - I would get bored before I felt I had played enough with that horse.
As an adult I have experienced this much more. In the past year I have really really wanted to learn the violin - when I see someone playing it I get this strong yearning to do it. So I bought a violin and some music and have lessons. And I still have this yearning, but I have to wonder whether I actually enjoy playing it or not as I have to force myself to do it, sometimes even dread it.
Also in the past year I got into the idea of reading classic french literature (in french) and philosophy (in english). I enjoyed going to the shop, or amazon online and choosing which books I would read, enjoyed lining them up in my bookcase and thinking about how nice it would be to read them one by one, but when I get to the actual reading part again I find my mind start to wander, I have to force myself to do it, it isnt enjoyable. Even though I still want to read these books (just possessing them isnt enough and not even enjoyable any more), it is a real chore to do it.
And these arent the only things - in the past the same thing has happened with learning the guitar, learning Italian, various sports - in each case I have never got particularly good at the activity in question and it means that I spend the vast majority of my free time in activities that I am not actually enjoying - but if I dont do them I feel really bad because I want to do them and become good at them and I have planned to do them - if I do decide to give them a miss I just end up skimming the internet, reading simple fiction books and eating, none of which makes me feel very good afterwards, I feel as though I waste my time, as its just easy.
Does anyone else experience this or do you all enjoy your special interests? I dont even know whether these things count as special interests because the interest is in the idea rather than the practise of it, but there is definately some obsession in it - only last week I bought some new violin books (I needed a new one) and have been thinking how nice it will be to do the exercises one by one and get better at them, but in reality it isnt that nice at all.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
yeah, it's like I pictured it so well, and imagined it so much, the actual DOING of it is sorta . . meh. . .
It think it is because I have already extracted the intellectually juicy goodness out of it and all that is left is the bodily sensations of doing it, which for me is mostly a let down, because I feel a whole lot more with my brain than I do with my body.
Now, if I felt all the rushes and stuff through being a real physical sort of person, then maybe I wouldn 't get all that enjoyment out of planning and all the rush from just the doing.
I don't know, but yes, I have had this happen to me.
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
I can't count the number of Million-dollar ideas I've come up with (see random post on Asperger Spring Fashion Line), but implementing them is another story. I like the creative aspects of imagining and designing something cool and exciting, but I'm clueless as to how to handle the actual nuts and bolts of taking the project from drawing board to assembly line to showroom.
Absolutely. I enjoy the planning much more than the actual doing. I plan trips, meals, etc. I was the same as a child - getting the toys organized and ready to play would take up all the playing time. I barely left any time to actually play, didn't care for the actual play.
_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.
I know someone with this problem and he's come to realize that what it boils down to is a fear of failure. He's afraid that he can't do this thing that he has thought and thought about and planned out, because he might not be able to do it as perfectly as in his head, so he just doesn't do it at all. I don't know if that's why you struggle with it, but it just reminded me of his situation.
I dont think it is fear of failure, although I also like to keep my interests very private - I often dont dare tell my friends about certain things because .... in fact Im not sure why, but I feel embarrassed. But I keep on doing these things even though they give me no pleasure. Maybe I get pleasure from the idea that I might be getting better at them/more knowledgeable, or its just the satisfaction of having done something and finished it. But Im tired of everyday having this list of things that I have to get through, that I have chosen to do myself but am stuck continuing to do them despite the lack of enjoyment in them. I only end up with a couple of hours at most at the end of each day to actually do things I like doing, which usually ends up in rather mindless browsing of the internet (Wrong Planet being the biggest culprit). At least these other things achieve something (well ideally) even if I dont enjoy doing them and want them to be over. I feel as though I am wasting my life though constantly wanting activities that I have planned to do to be finished.
p.s. thegodofhats, I dont think I actually am this friend of yours because I only know one aspie and she is my cousin.
Yep, I kind of have the same problem. I'm good at coming up with ideas, but very bad at fulfilling them.
I had a major obsession for a few years for writing a fantasy story. I got the whole planned out, summarized, character histories, set up the world, factions, races, cultures, cities, technology...
but when it comes down to actually writing the darn thing, I usually only get about 20-40 pages in and lose interest.
At least I got the summaries done though. (nearly 300 pages worth of summary)
Unfortunately I have the same problem when planning for my future too....
_________________
Current obsessions: Miatas, Investing
Currently playing: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Currently watching: SRW OG2: The Inspectors
Come check out my photography!
http://dmausf.deviantart.com/
In my case it's just that I experience the whole thing so deeply at the planning stage that the actual experiencing it is boring in comparison. BUT: when what I planned is very interesting to me, I also enjoy the execution stage.
_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.
Yes, "theory" often seems much more enticing than the "application". My brain has many more desires & whims than my body (the rest of it) has willingness/interest in actually physically doing those activities/projects, for real. My mind is very energetic, but the rest of my being is extremely slothlike & disinclined to carry out most of my nifty plans/notions.
_________________
*"I don't know what it is, but I know what it isn't."*
I collect books by autistic people, love lining them up on my shelf, but rarely read them anymore unless there is some really novel and interesting aspect to them.
(I started collecting in earnest because I want to make an online searchable directory of the things by all sorts of categories that are not normally in booklists, for the use of autistic people looking for books with certain ideas, qualities, etc., in them. But I really have trouble doing that. Ask me the "thing" and I can often find a book or books that have it, but I can't go from the book to the "thing".)
_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
I am happy to do the abstract thought, theorising planning, etc., once I have reached a perceived level of understanding and competency I do not feel the need to actually execute the plan. Often I think it is because I fear failure, and the outcome will not be as good as that planned (and real life rarely exceeds my mind’s expectations).
Fortunately, I have a job that at least most of the time allows me to work at that level and they have other people do the finishing; although that does not help in my personal life.
The Internet as made this even worse – I can now research and plan almost anything without ever leaving the comfortable confines of my office.
NarfMann
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 17 Apr 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 185
Location: Centennial, CO
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
I don't know what to do if meetup groups don't interest me |
10 Aug 2024, 9:48 pm |
Anyone has any interest and time to read what I wrote? |
30 Sep 2024, 1:11 am |