Argumentitiveness

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Hi All;

I'm curius to what extent Aspies avoid conflict. One of my "issues" is a love of argument. This offends most people, and I notice a tendency on this site, (as in life) to avoid controversy. The bluntness, of which many of us seem to pride ourselves in, seems oddly missing. Comments?

Regards,

do you like to argue?

no.






hmm, a paradox.

only arguing passionately with a boyfriend. Only cause the making up is so much fun!

also I like debating in class, I really enjoyed it only when they would respect what I had to say.

tmi xD

I can be very argumentative, if somebody's trying to push their crackpot views on me, or on others, I also have issues against raciest, and other idiots, big whoop wanna fight fight about it!

Well, one of the reasons I am not as blunt as I could be, on WP, is this could lead to unpleasantness and flame wars. I would rather leave a topic than get into a pointless argument.

I just live and let live. :D

Hi NOBS, if you look up the Autiesnob thread and a few others, you will find that quite a few members here like to engage in arguments. One reason I think some people try to avoid arguing on this site, is because maybe they're concerned that things will get out of hand.

well I like the absence of fights here. :D it's a very pleasant community.

Thanks Velodog. I think I pretty much have an answer. 180+ views; 7 noncommittal replies; 0 votes. The silence is deafening. I infer from this that Aspies are no more, or perhaps even less argumentitive than the NT population.

Perhaps my argumentitive nature stems more from my Norwegian ancestery than AS. As to "flaming" and "fighting" I've never understood why people seem unable to look at things objectively. My wife tells me that something she's learned from my family is that people can argue BITTERLY, and still love each other.

I am so detached from my emotions that I can have an objective conversation on weather or not I am a jerk.

Regards,

I am compulsively argumentative. I can't stop myself from picking through people's assumptions and biases.

I tend to avoid conflict as much as I can, getting into arguments just seems like a losing battle to me, nobody ever really changes his mind.

I absolutely hate arguments. I remember the few I had with my ex... It made me sick. I just wanted to disappear. And they were only normal "relationship arguments" or whatever I should call it. Stuff every couple goes through. Caused terrible meltdowns and I wasn't myself again for hours and hours. She was NT and I did not know at that point about my AS. I know better now...

Can you elaborate a little on what it is you love about arguments, NOBS?

I think arguing is some how different then debating. One seems to cloud the topic and the other is meant to clarify it. I like the latter. It stimulates my brain and that always feels good to me. It also helps me understand why I think what I think and I am open to learning something new and questioning my own wrong assumptions. What I can't tolerate is people who argue but lack any logical ability. It took me awhile to figure out that some people have different objective then mine when discussing issues like religion, politics, gender issues or autism I might begin a debate with them but as soon as I figure out they are just not capable of logical reasoning and they only want to spout unfounded rhetoric, I don't feel like wasting my time on them.


One of my biggest complaints about the stereotype of aspies being "argumentative" is that there appears to be a value judgement involved in something that should not have one. There is nothing wrong with questioning common assumptions. It is productive and leads to insights and better ways of doing things. When I tried to "argue" with my parents it was an attempt to understand "why" they believed the way they did and if it proved viable I was willing to adapt my behavior to it. Their lack of desire to discuss issues with me was based on their own laziness to think of why they had the assumptions and willingness to help me understand their logic(or lack of it) was what made me angry/upset. This has caused a lot of problems for me in my jobs as well when I question the logic or efficiency of managers. I have a lot of problesm respecting someone just beause they caarry a particular "title" because I have seen so much efidence that such titles do not make the personal infalable or more intelligent then myself...in some areas. Many of these people have only gotten such tites because they had enough money to persue an advanced degree and I am self taught in many things. Others get their titels because of influential friends and better social skills...neither one makes them more capable of using logic then I am. Even when they adopt my ideas it never advances me in the job and I am still percieved as a "trouble maker", not a team player Who just goes along with the coachs decissions).

Sure Stjnara. I love the interplay of ideas. The pure honesty of laying an idea on the table in its most extreme form, and disecting it point by point thrills me. I enjoy loosing an argument more than winning one, for I have learned something. I have an incredibly curious mind, and am facinated by so many things. Arguing for me is a way to discern truth.

I don't think I like arguing but I get accused of doing it a lot. Usually I'm just trying to prove a point.