Aspies and moving to another country with new language

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northern_light_girl
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01 May 2008, 3:50 pm

Are there any Aspies here who were born ...raised in another country, where they spoke another language and had a certain set of values..then moved to another country and had to learn the new language and value system? How did that clash with the AS?

Just curios if anybody has had that experience.



pbcoll
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01 May 2008, 4:20 pm

I moved (on my own) to Britain when I was 18; my native language is not English but I already spoke it when I moved over here. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster ride, I don't regret it one bit but I'm going home as soon as I finish my studies, no matter what (even though I think my country's long term outlook is grim). My values are not at all typical of my countrymen. I'm an outsider everywhere, but being foreign, particularly a non-Westerner, adds a whole new layer of 'outsiderness.'


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amaren
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01 May 2008, 11:06 pm

I went on exchange to Germany for a year when I was 16 - as a last desperate attempt to get away from my mother asap. I learned the language fast - I was almost fluent in 3 months from watching tv, but socially the whole thing was a disaster, and they did have different values - very big on good grades in school and hard work and being a good citizen.

I hated school even more than I did in NZ and it was 10 months before I found anything like friends - then 3 turned up all at once - one NZer, one who'd lived in NZ and one who really wished she could go there... I never got past formalities and small talk (urgh) with anyone else.

I'm still interested in learning new languages, but I doubt I'd want to live anywhere but in New Zealand or Australia - I'm used to the culture here, I can play at being normal(ish) - anywhere else and I'm a full-blown anti-social freak.


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Shelby
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02 May 2008, 12:00 am

I moved to Sweden for a year. I learned the language ultra fast, I'm no savant with numbers like other Aspies but I'm a savant with languages. In my first class the teacher wanted to move me to advanced. Socially....well Sweden is an interesting country in that socially the entire nation has Aspergers. They are expressionless, almost robotic, lack empathy, do not like strangers, do not like foreigners...I'm generalising of course but the vast majority of Swedes are unfriendly, and people I've spoken to who have been around Swedes always ask the same thing: "Do you find the Swedes....er.....a little....cold?" I was told that I would not make any Swedish friends - and I didn't. My friends were German, Japanese, Spanish and Canadian.

Regarding friends, it took me a LONG time to make any. Not because I couldn't, when I want to socialise I can manage ok. I just had no interest and enjoyed exploring Stockholm alone. The family I worked for were worried about me and tried to set me up with friends. Ironically, the girl they set me up with was chronic Aspergers - one of the worst I've ever met. She was completely obsessive and would rant on for HOURS about her obsessions. You'd think we'd get along well, but after 3 hours of listening to her I wanted to bang my head against a wall. I eventually befriended a few people in my class but it was months. I could have been quite happy without friends and still am in one way, but I like to keep up appearances that I'm not a total loner.



ouinon
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02 May 2008, 1:13 am

English, accidentally moved to France at age of 35 ,( almost 10 years ago), when got pregnant with a french guy while hitching around france between organic farms . My mother is german, acidentally moved to England aged 25 because fell in love with an english man on a year abroad for her language degree.

I feel restrictions because of AS far more here, because I use(d) language massively to help me navigate/negotiate the social landscape, and my french will never be as good as my english is. I miss all the nuances, undertones, references, double meanings, intonations/inflexions, which I had become pretty skilful using for socialising in England. Here I am a pariah. ( esp as the french don't like unconventionality, except the intellectual bohemians who, like me about poor users of english, cannot seem to overlook my limited/literal/unsophisticated french :oops: ). I don't "get" anything!

My best contacts here continue to be english speaking exiles like me.

The internet, wrongplanet etc, has been a lifesaver. I was slowly dieing a death from lack of intellectual food/stimulation/interaction, because although can read french better now, books etc, even about philosophy etc, they do not create the same dialogue, and my budget is small so was only reading the limited number of books available in public libraries most of the time.

:study:



Paperplate
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02 May 2008, 4:35 am

I moved from South Africa to Holland for a year about ten years ago to get away/take a break from my family. I found the people to be unfriendly towards foreigners ( I think they thought I was trying to get a better life in their country, me being from Africa ) and the only friend I made was a guy from Taiwan.

My homelanguage is similar to Dutch but it was difficult because I found myself speaking a mix of Dutch and Afrikaans. It would have been easier if it was a completely different language that I had to learn.


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TallyMan
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02 May 2008, 6:33 am

I moved from England to France three years ago with my wife. I am still learning the language. My learning skills have declined somewhat since I was younger, so learning takes longer.

On the whole I much prefer life in France to England. Life is a much slower pace here and people have more time for each other.

The one thing that irritates me most about France is the intolerable amount of bureaucracy they have. French people have an unhealthy obsession with paper and form filling and since moving here we are drowning in official documents. Most of the taxes paid in France go to keep bureaucrats doing unnecessary work passing irrelevant documents and paperwork between each other.

The baguettes are good though. Worth moving to France just for the food. :D