My family doesn't seem to believe that I have aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

What do you do when your family doesn't believe that you have aspergers? I tell my family that I have aspergers and they just say things like "oh no, you're just shy" or "you just have to push your ass and get a job". It's really starting to piss me off.

It's not that they don't WANT to understand
you might wanna remember that being an Aspie is stranger than an NT CAN understand.

anyway, no one is going to give you a free pass because you got Aspergers. Might as well understand that now.

been there, done that
still on the tour

Merle

I hear ya, Patrick. I get frustrated with my family, too. I wish I knew why people live in denial like that. It's like they can't stand to think that you could have anything wrong with you (to be anything other than NT)... easier to blame it on laziness I guess.

Yea, none of my family believes me. Mum just thinks I'm eccentric, and my dad's whole family tell me to shut up and put up and quit trying to be so different. They think that somehow I'm trying to be special, like I'd want to be confused by them and spend every moment of every day pretending to be someone I'm not.

Cause thats fun, right? We ought sign every NT up for the ride!

The effect is still going to be the same on you [if you have it], whether you or anyone else believes that you have it or not.

My grandmother is of the usual, 'Daniel is just shy,' type. I don't put any thought to it other than acknowledging that she thinks such. This is probably because I simply don't care.

I think that people must think that I don't have aspergers because when they hear me say the word "autism" they must think I'm full of BS since I seem to be extremely "high functioning" to them.

It's probably best not to mention "autism" at first if you wish to avoid being instantly stereotyped. Even to professionals, as they'll immediately think of someone with autistic disorder.

It's one reason why people like the Asperger's label.

Autism equates to Rain Man after all.

I get the same kind of thing with my ME. People tell me that I look really well and I must just feel a bit tired. God, if only it were feeling just a little tired. If only my AS was just a little laziness. I could have achieved so much.

I don't think people know that we have our hopes and dreams too but we cannot always make them happen.

They just can't accept the fact that someone they love is different.

Well said.

They don't understand you, you don't understand them. That, unfortunately, is how it is pretty much always going to be, and you're the one whose going to be inconvenienced by this. You are going to have push your ass to find a job; nobody can do that for you.

my parents are suportive and agree with my so far self diagnoses, but other family members and friends seem to think there experts on autism when they have not even read about it. they say simular things which anoys me as most of the things they say about me relates to autism. i told my ex partner and she fell off her chair laughing, i supose i must mask it well but in my mind i know the problems i face and most of the time avoid situations were i would strugle. it seems a bit pointless telling some one you are (or might be) autistic without giving them any written info
most nt folk just can not compehend how you feel or think.

The thing I hate the most is when they ask me "if I got the diagnosis from a doctor". When I tell them "no" they automatically think that I can't possibly have aspergers then. I feel like telling them this... NOT ALL DOCTORS ARE QUALIFIED TO MAKE A PROPER DIAGNOSIS!! ! The last doctor I saw, after telling him about all of my syptoms, told me that I have social phobia... I felt like punching him in the fuc*ing face!

i know just how you feel, i think they judge by apearence and not what ur actualy saying, my apearence is normal ( i think) and i can pretend to be normal and join in but inside i know am not. i have to avoid lots of situations but some how manage to mask them and make it look like its some thing ellse like being shy for instance. i was taken of disability a while ago i had depresion, i know now why i was depresed but i had to apeal against the decision (simply because i was not able to work)but the reason why they had taken me of disability was that i looked normal,
at the apeal the doc said well you look fine to me, which realy anoyed me. anyways i won the apeall and shortly after i was ready for work again.

I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie myself... but if you're self-diagnosed, you have to realise that it is not unreasonable (even if it is inaccurate) for them to not automatically assume that you have accurately diagnosed something that, even by your own admission, some DOCTORS are not always qualified to diagnose. Even Doctors who are familiar with AS have troubles making sure it's AS and not something else.

My dad doesn't believe that I have AS. When I talked to him about it, he recited the story about how first-year med students tend to diagnose themselves with all sorts of things. I can see his point.... he's not being stupid.

He just happens to be incorrect.

Being officially diagnosed right in front of my parents kind of prevented them from having any real disbelief.

However, the bottom line is that it doesn't really matter if they believe you or not. The end result is that you still need to learn to at least partially overcome some of the less beneficial traits of Aspeger's Syndrome. And if you can do that, you could actually become better than the norm.

Some people are just intent on being a butthole. If someone won't tolerate your AS bevavior in spite of your best efforts to mitigate it, then limit contact with any such people. You're lucky in that you get described as "shy", the word I hear too often is "weird".