This is just insane!

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Ok, so I’ve had a really rough couple of days. My father dearest has developed some pretty ‘weird’ theories about aspergers and autism in general. Such as people like me using it as an excuse to be lazy. Well, I’m definitely not lazy. I might have a couple of organization problems, and I might drift off into my own little world at times, but that does not make me lazy. And it being ‘crap’ and not existing in the first place. He seems to think aspergers is directly caused by anime. *scoffs* Anime is an art form. I admit I became severely obsessed with it for a while *sheepish smile*. But that doesn’t make it the root of all evil. Heck, by using his logic, I could say the ceiling was pure evil and the cause for all the world’s problems. Does this make sense to anyone else? Because I am really lost here. I could care less that he pretty much inferred that I was stupid and weird, because I am a little out there, but so what? What really gets on my nerves is him coming up with these illogical stories to prove a point that really doesn't even exist in the first place. I have no intention whatsoever to let him ‘fix’ me. I’m happy with who I am. There are things I can improve on, like my people skills or being unorganized, but I’m not going to turn myself into a flippin zombie just to make him happy. *fumes*

OMG, he sounds just like my dad!

Mine is convinced that AS is just a trendy bandwagon that everyone wants to jump on, and I am just using it as an excuse to be selfish and lazy.

What really bugged me at the weekend is that he went through a whole list of my character flaws (all true) but wouldn't accept it when I said "but that's exactly what AS is!! !!"

I said "But what about at school, when they said I was emotionally immature?" "Oh, that was just that strange headmaster!"

"But what about my flapping? You're not going to tell me that's normal?" "Loads of people twiddle their hair!" ??????? How is that the same thing?

"But all my life, people have been asking me why I was different." "OK, I can accept that you believe you have it...."

In the end he told me that someone else we knew had been diagnosed with it, and I was nothing like that person, that was why he wouldn't believe me. "But we're all different - they wouldn't have to be like me.' He refused to tell me who the person was, but he did say it was someone I knew & that it wasn't a relative. AAAARGH!! !! ! If I only knew who it was - there would be another aspie that I could get to talk to....

My mother says computers gave me this fake syndrome.

I wonder If she could feel what is like to talk to her while I'm listening to a car engine running 600 yards away.

I expected my father to deny my AS as he dislikes talking about disabilities of any sort, he didn't to my surprise and it has actually brought us closer, probably because he has it too (his words not mine). I also have a cousin with HFA, so that could be part of the reason as well.

Guys, I got the same s**t growing up that you're getting now, from my dad, all the 'worthless' and 'lazy' accusations and this was in the days when nobody had ever heard of AS, and I wondered most of my life if he was right. But I knew he wasn't, because I figured out as a little child that I was different than my peers (so did they).

People close to me introduced me to an article on Asperger Syndrome at 45 years old, and it was another three years before I was officially diagnosed. When I told my parents (now in their 70s), my Mom was relieved that it wasn't her parenting that made me so weird, my dad said "That doesn't sound like anything different than what all kids go through" (meaning social awkwardness and clumsiness, etc). Thanks for your compassion and understanding, dad.

Other friends said "Oh, wow, that explains a lot." No s**t, Sherlock, it explains everything. I've lived with this for 49 years now, and I can tell you: NTs will never understand what you go through, because they have no point of reference. Your experiences as an Aspie are as alien to them as their social world is to us. Sadly, though we are forced to deal with their world, it will be a rare NT who cares enough to even try to get an idea what our lives are like. And most of those will get it wrong.

All I can say to you about family members who call you names and claim AS isn't real, is this (and I am in no way religious, it's just the right thing under the circumstances):

Forgive them , they know not what they do.

My mother seems to think that aspies are dickheads and they don't care about other people because they are unable to understand other people like emotions, caring about others, etc.

Wow, that's a particularly uncaring attitude.

Lessee...Aspies spend their lives in a world that doesn't understand them or care to. We are treated as though we are worthless, lazy and weak because our brains are wired a little bit differently than average and we don't always respond they way normal, boring people do. Therefore, our feelings are stupid or just don't matter. And yet WE'RE the ones with no empathy? What's wrong with this picture?

The next thing to read is: The Verbally Abusive Relationship. We saw what a verbal abuser did to our intelligent, peaceful, charming son. We paid for a lot of counseling, an expensive divorce, and mourned at the waste of a decade. Our son has remarried to a wonderful woman, and we rejoice at the recovery and return of our cheerful son. Verbal Abuse is ABUSE. Oh, and that son is NT. I wonder what would have happened to our asperger's son had he been so abused.

Wow. Sounds like I’m not the only one here with a parent that won’t listen to reason. Thanks for the understanding you guys! I was really bummed out about it this morning. I don’t see why me being different makes me any less of a considerate person. Dad seems to think being an aspie is some sort of curse. I’d rather think it’s a blessing in disguise. And my closest friends seem to think the same. I know there’s nothing I could possibly do to change his mind about it –because he’s just as stubborn as I tend to be- but it still hurts sometimes. Because I love my dad a lot, even if I’m not very good at showing it either. But the fact of the matter is, he acts way too much like me. That’s probably why it’s like talking to a brick wall when it comes to him. Everyone else accepts it for the most part. I just can’t seem to get through to him. And he’s one of the few people where it actually matters anyhow. His theories are pretty odd, but it seems he actually believes them. *Screams into pillow* Good grief! Talk about stress and what not! I’m going to try to seriously think about some of the stuff both my parents said last night though. Not the, aspergers is crap stuff. But the, everyone has room for improvement stuff. I realize that, and I’m definitely not trying to use aspergers as a crutch. In fact, I tend to do the exact opposite. My mother actually sees the bad and the good about aspergers. She even convinced dad to let me on this site. *hip-hip-hooray for mom* At least mom is making an effort, instead of just brushing aspies off as lazy slackers who live in shacks. I wish dad could talk to some of the adults on here who are simply amazing. It’s really encouraging actually. *grins* Thanks for letting me rant some, it’s really…cool of you. I know I can be a little random sometimes...so thanks.

Completely off topic here but darn thats funny!

i still aint told my parents, =( i havnt plucked up the courage yet. im pretty anxious about what there going to say, whether there going to believe me or just think im mad. any ideas about how to go about explaining?