Do you think what this mother did was right?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_23z9yJAq0
You can skip to 0:34 if you want

No and I am SICK and TIRED of parents posting such videos of their children. Sick of it. And I am sick of them claiming "THIS IS TRUE AUTISM"...that's BS! This is years of crappy parenting and sweeping this under the rug as autism. Sick of these parents.

My son saw the video and said "That is a weird parent." I asked "why?" and he said "he is laying on him."

He's four.

I had to stop watching. The way she's treating him is horrendous. f*****g A$ propaganda again!

I can tell she must love him, but I still don't agree with the way she's treating him there!

Unless his meltdown/stimming is dangerous to himself or others let him do it.

I don't understand. Once he sat on the living room floor, he was doing just that, sitting. Yes, also crying out, but sitting. What did restraint do for him? What was she restraining him from? He wasn't hurting anyone, including himself. He was sort of half-heartedly slapping at himself for a minute but I can't see that landing him in the hospital or anything.

My son will often ask me to squeeze his head when he's upset, because the pressure helps him feel better, but it's always just his head and I wait for him to ask. And I sure shoot don't put my body weight into it. This isn't something we taught him to expect, he came up with it himself. If he doesn't ask you can bet I don't do it. And hold him down? If he were clawing his own face apart or attacking his brother, maybe. That basically never happens, I'm just trying to come up with instances where I'd even think of holding him down with my own body. Is this some new creepy therapy style or something? Is this supposed to suffocate the autism right out of him?

I don't generally like criticizing other parents, but I really don't understand what on earth I just watched.

It's a possibility the son loves pressure so doing that to him always calms him down when he gets that way. I noticed he did calm down after the pressure and was given some water but what did he have to apologize for?

I try not to judge parents either.

If I was that severe and my mum was holding me down like that, I'd be scared for my life. I also wouldn't apologize.

It is hard for me to say if this is okay or not as far as it being filmed.
A lot of that depends on if Joseph is okay with it and they know how he feels about it.
A lot of times people make the mistake of thinking someone severely autistic, especially a kid, is too intellectually disabled to be aware of something like being filmed and have an opinion about it.

I do not have too much of a problem with how he is being handled. I have to be pinned down when I have ballistic meltdowns. Not quite that way, but still restrained. My family is lucky that I'm still a pretty small kid and only weigh about 100 lbs. I think with him being such a big kid, he has probably caused a lot of damage to things and himself, and they are just trying to defuse him right away before it really starts getting out of control.

If his parents let him get full of bruises and stuff by hitting himself and smashing into things, then people would accuse them of being neglectful.

I sometimes get angry when I am being restrained, but I am used to it from it being done my whole life and I understand why they are doing it, and that they love me and are just being protective. It is better for them to restrain me than for me to beat myself up and smash things. The only bad part of it is that I am sore afterwards form so much straining. But it is a lot better than if they just let me go on a rampage of harming myself and smashing things. For me at least there is being hugged and cuddled after that kind of meltdown happens and that is a very nice thing.

In the end of the video it looks like it worked out really good for him, so I think they definitely know what they are doing. They are good parents of an autistic kid in my opinion.

Last edited by EzraS on 29 Sep 2015, 12:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

You could see him hitting the wall and he began to hit his mum. It sucks for him but also for the parents if their house is broken or if they're stressed out all the time from the meltdowns. Autism treatment should aim at fixing those aspects. I can't think of any reasonable argument for keeping somebody that way.

Oh yeah, I forgot and left out the part that I also punch, scratch and bite others during a violent meltdown. The sooner I am grabbed and held, the better chance of defusing me. My cousin who my best friend ever is usually the roughest with me. He will just tackle me and pin me the same as wrestling. We have a really great connection.

[quote="Norny"]You could see him hitting the wall and he began to hit his mum. It sucks for him but also for the parents if their house is broken or if they're stressed out all the time from the meltdowns. Autism treatment should aim at fixing those aspects. I can't think of any reasonable argument for keeping somebody that way.[/quote

To me it didn't look bad and he wasn't breaking any walls or doors or anything or hurting himself. But then again we don't really know the kid or his parents so we don't know what would have happened if they just ignored it or why he was acting that way. The mother was kidding herself when she said lot of parents don't want you seeing this so they don't show it, she obviously has not looked on youtube or looked on Autism Speaks video "I Am Autism" which I hear they now regret making so they pulled it offline but it can still be seen on youtube that was reposted by someone else.

Ugh, not THIS video again... Pretty sure I saw this somewhere that was in connection to Autism Speaks, but I could be wrong.

I've seen it before though.

That is when I have real a problem with it. When it is being done to give the wrong message. Still these things do seem like kind of exploitation at times. My favorite mom showing her autistic son on YouTube is Kreed's World http://www.youtube.com/user/Kreedsvideos. Kreed always wants to eat at Five Guys. I have to try that place

Five Guys is pretty good but, man, talk about bad calories. They give huge servings of fries not to mention the fat calories in the burgers. But I wouldn't mind a trip there either every once in a while.

I like to be smashed by my husband. I ask him to do it sometimes and other times he just seems to inherently know to do it. Sometimes just happy spells can be painful and I need to be smashed. He taps on the top of my head too when he smashes me.

I too suspect that even though the boy in this video was not doing anything dangerous his mom did this to head off or extinguish a more uncontrolled expression of emotion. He didn't seem particularly distressed to me. In fact, I thought he was actually expressing a little happiness and perhaps just some restlessness at the arrival of his sister and the change her being there brings on. I imagine that changes the feel of the rest of the day and he had to cope with it. I don't know why they had him apologize; he didn't seem to do anything that warranted that. The thing that bothers me most is the nonchalant or dismissive way in which the mother was pushing him to the ground. Not really pushing him but it just seemed like she had an attitude for the camera, trying to show how "real" autism is and how old it gets to take care of him. I don't really blame her for feeling this way though. I wonder how my husband feels about me and I also have experienced fatigue and discouragement from taking care of others.