Do your stims ever disturb the hell out of you?

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Do your stims ever disturb the hell out of you?

Every once in a while I will actually realize that I am stimming and I get this strange disturbing feeling. I think I get this because I suddenly feel the "differentness" that comes with autism. My stims are a part of me so I tend to not realize when I'm doing them but if I do notice that I'm doing them they generally don't bother me much. It's become instinct to not perform any of my stims in public except for subtle stims which don't appear to be stims at all. The only time that I feel this disturbing feeling while stimming is usually when I'm either really tired or under the influnce of (legal) drugs like caffeine, alcohol, etc.

Does anybody else know what I'm talking about? Do you also experience this?

I get embarassed a little when I stim in front of people...or at least I did when I first found out about AS. Yesterday I was rocking in front of my friends and I didn't really care.

I cant say i get that embarrased. I know i wasnt when i was a kid either. I remember trying to convince my cousins to stim because it was so nice. They tried, but they didnt get what the big deal was. Now that im older, my stims arent as visible. Although anyone who takes a look at my nails, or gets to see me rocking while im nervous or whatever will see it. But i dont really care.

Could my "stims" really be "stims"? I will sometimes (and often) stim all day because it feels so good (while still somehow being disturbing at the same time). Is it normal for someone to stim for such lengthy periods? Do any of you fellow "stimmers" out there "stim" for hours on end? I will often have to end a stimming session after having a combination of a headache and fatigue.

I asked if my stims could really be stims because I've actually debated the possibility that I might have mild tourettes with autistic-like traits. It could be that I don't even have anything that's the autism spectrum but it isn't likely.

Last edited by patrick6 on 11 May 2008, 1:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I dont get fatigued because of my stims, but i used to when i was younger because i rocked so violently. Not because i did it for long periods of time, but the energy i put into it. My mom has told me she often found me sitting on my hands, rocking back and forth. I would be red all over my face (because i had worked so hard on it) and sometimes sweaty too. These days, i still rock. But not like i did back then. I bite my nails violently though. And i can keep at that for hours. But of course it doesnt drain me.

My stims fatigue me because my body becomes quite tense while concentrating on something. Most of my stims (if not all) involve me concentrating on something that I find visually stimulating. One of the most annoying and time consuming of my stims involves me watching numbers go up on a CD player, watch, or anything else that has numbers which progressively go up or down. I don't know why but I somehow get a feeling of pleasure watching numbers going up or down on electronic devices. Sometimes I could almost smash my CD player because I will sometimes watch the numbers go up until I feel fatigued and I start to feel like a "weirdo".

I know this stim must sound strange to some of you but I don't even know why the hell I do it. All I know is that I'm a sensible guy who does weird things.

Put electrical tape over part or all of the display?

I dont really have any good advice. I think ive read somewhere that sometimes stims can be replaced with other stims.

But i know for a fact that if anyone tried to make me stop biting my nails it wouldnt work. My mom used to smear my finger nails with all kinds of icky stuff when i was younger to make me stop. I still chew on them. So i dont know what can be done about this... Im sorry im not much help, but giving up one of my stims, or trying not to do it sounds sort of impossible to me.

I can't stand stimming, but I can't help it when I'm really stressed.

Yes; some of them bother me because I want to do them and yet they're seen as "strange" (like hand-flapping)... some of them bother me because I know they won't end well for me (like clicking or clenching teeth, which will give me a headache) but I can't really stop and am not even always conscious that I'm doing them. Yesterday I was at an old-style movie theater with some friends practicing something, and I was lying on the proscenium of the stage, and realized that I was just staring at the ceiling fans spinning. That really made me feel... well, autistic.

And yes - I can often do the less-noticeable stims (hand twisting, tooth clicking or clenching, leg bouncing or tapping, etc.) for hours at a time. I'm usually doing something pretty much all day. They're stims, though, not tics - so not Tourette's (or any other tic disorder).

I've never found my stims strange or disturbing, but I'm also pretty comfortable with the possibility of having an ASD. I stim through most of the day and I can relate to your exhaustion; are there any activities you can do where you might not stim to give yourself a break?

Stimming feels good - comforting/reassuring. I always figure stimming is good exercise too! My stimming is confined (mostly) to just rocking &/or swaying. I do sway, my preferred stim, when I'm standing which partly balances me too. If I have music on (yes!) then it's acceptable because I am rather dancey anyway! I guess I'm fortunate that my stimming is innocuous, which is not to say certain 'outsiders' can be harsh. I had one supervisor (ex) who HATED my stimming, and she vocally reprimanded me, however, she was at least nuts and truly evil to me.

My stimming is within acceptable limits to those around me so I don't perceive it as a problem whatsoever. And I can't really control this anyway, at least not for long! If I were somehow not able/allowed to stim, like by threat of death, I would die.

I am sorry for those who have stimming deemed 'unacceptable' and that should be curtailed so stimmer isn't ostrasized or hurt. I cannot know why OP stimming would be disturbing for you...unsure. Can you switch stimming method? Are you able to shift? I've read too that certain toys, like textured squeeze balls, do help.

I use a digital metronome with a visual pendulum which offsets my stimming some, like an external pacemaker - you could try, yes? Do you like music? That can help too.

I forgot! I do have one but it's confined to just my apartment, where I'm alone with Tesla my cat (only Tesla knows the secret...heh heh).

I have a swivel office chair - I'm in it right now. I can spin for probably indefinitely but I absolutely must limit this! I'm envisioning: Still spinning, 4 hours later! Oh no....

Spinning feels good but there must be a vehicle to do it (my office chair)! I LOVE swingsets too - I really miss having a swing nearby. Those two, spinning and swinging, are sheer ecstasy! I lose all contact entirely and just sense. I feel metal when I'm really at that level of excitement (like a metal conductive core).

My pacing really annoys my girlfriend

I also pace. I'm not lucky enough to have a GF though.

Careful - when I have one sense overwhelmed, the others tend to shut down, and the other day I was pacing in circles in an elevator. Well, it started up and kind of overloaded my vestibular system, and everything else kind of failed and I walked full speed into a wall.

Yeah, yeah, okay, laugh.