*"Me too, me too!" Reactions?*

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So, I was wondering who else on wrongplanet has this/these tendencies?

Do you tend to leap on declarations by others relating to their different, unusual, minority, alternative, kinds of functioning, by saying "Me too, me too"? You are so thrilled to find someone presenting something which till then you may even not have been able to find words for, or because you are so pleased to find someone else "has" the same thing as you?

Or/and do you tend to react with "Me more, me more!"? You declare doing the same thing but in an even more pronounced or evolved fashion, perhaps partly in a spirit of competitiveness , or because it explains such a huge part of yourself that it is like an illlumination/revolution of understanding, which then sounds like competitiveness.

I have noticed lots of threads starting with " I do x, y, z ... ! Do you ? " And seen how much people on wp seem to enjoy replying to these. I did in the past until I had answered so many saying "Me too, me too" ... " , "in my own particular way" or " OMG, I thought I was the only one.. ", till started to feel a bit nauseous.

So here is another one, about the phenomenon itself. I have split the poll into two groups because I am wondering whether it something that is sex differentiated.

I am a real "Me too" er, but I have become wary of it in offline-life because it has often been related to making "friends" that I didn't always keep afterwards.

I would like to understand the phenomenon a bit more, so I would love to hear from other people about how/why etc it happens with them, in relation to who/what especially, etc. It may not be an AS thing. But the number of threads based on this kind of behaviour suggest it might be.

Unless it is simply the way an oppressed minority behaves, thrilled to find others the same as oneself; something reassuring. The whole of wrongplanet could be said to be based on this.

Is it oppression/isolation, or AS, or another mental condition, or is it in fact one of the most NT things about us?

Could it be part of a process of construction of self particular to AS people because the principal usual/NT base for selfhood, the body/impermeable skin/reliable sensory integration, is missing/different/fragile/distorted in AS and we are constantly on the look out for other "markers"?

Thats me

I've just realised that I should have voted for "Me too and me more" rather than "Me too", because although I don't make a habit of it, I have just remembered "doing this" to someone last year.

I don't know whether it was experienced like that by the other person, but looking back I realise that "Me more" is what it might have looked like.

It was just a total explosion of understanding about myself which happened after someone on a forum said that they were introvert, and suggested that perhaps I was too, which illumination ( it had never occurred to me to think of myself in that way; I thought that I was a chronically anxious and depressed eccentric extrovert with bipolar history! ), led directly to my finding out about aspergers.

Last edited by ouinon on 10 May 2008, 11:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Wondering whether it is, for whatever reason, because I almost can't see my "self" properly, and need to see/hear a reflection/echo from someone else in order to detect things about "me".

In the same way as I have a tendency to search for the causes/origins of my behaviour to explain it to myself cos otherwise is pure chaos, perhaps I have had trouble identifying what is "me" unless I see/hear it expressed by someone else?

I think I'm almost done now though! Got most of it sussed/ID'd now!

Who else has this impression?

I feel the same way. Its easier to notice things about oneself if others point it out for you. I never knew that most of my traits were weird, or even that they were traits of anything before i stumbled upon aspergers. Its weird how things turn out. And the only reason i came across it at all was because i was researching a topic for my cousin..

I’m the “me too and more” type. Come to think of it, this is often my sole reason for posting on here. It isn’t so much competitiveness as it is a craving for validation. I always have this desire to see someone else agree with / validate my own analysis / experience.

It bugs me that people in real life often misinterpret me seeking validation as seeking sympathy. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me or think I’m putting some kind of burden on them to solve all my emotional problems. I don’t often know how to explain myself without coming off to people as whining / complaining.

That’s what I like about this forum. People tend to react somewhat neutrally when sharing the common experiences we have to cope with as social outcasts. Whereas in real life there are two kinds of people - those that gush all over you with “I’m so sorry” and those that tell you to “stop feeling sorry for yourself”. There’s a distinct shortage of people willing to simply listen to me.

I’d like to be able to move beyond being here merely to seek validation, but it’s hard to connect in a more meaningful way when there’s no real-time conversation going on. Internet support sites can be kind of a partial crutch in that way. They fulfill a certain need for validation but at the same time the communication format makes it difficult to move beyond that to a more meaningful kind of interaction.

This must be the only forum on the whole internet where a post like the opening post of this thread is not met with scorn and outright ridicule for its complexity, and moreover people read it and think and answer it to the best of their honest knowledge and efforts.

This is in itself hugely different from NTs and extremely reassuring.

I'm the "Me too!" kind because I feel elated that after 40+ years of aloneness, I meet other swans like me. And I want to make sure others feel they're not alone in their "symptoms" either, as I know how painful it is to feel like the odd one out.

Me too! and me more!

I couldnt agree more. I love this forum. On other forums ive visited, ive always felt like an oddball. Many of my posts went unanswered and i felt weird about it all really. Every single topic ive posted here (not that there are that many yet) have gotten a reply. And that makes me feel more comfortable at once... People tend to ignore stuff or scold you if you say something "weird" elsewhere. Or whatever they consider weird that is. Im so glad that i found this site, its helped me so much.

I'm a rabid me-too-er - partly that's what I came to the forum for, to try to falsify my self-diagnosis, cos I have a lot of doubt that I got it right. But I have common experiences with many here, so I've not given up my judgment as wrong yet. I'm waiting on a specialist doctor who can see me in August, but I still want to find out what I can in the mean time.

I would have thought this was an NT instinct coming through, or maybe one NTs and those on the spectrum have in common - not wanting to be the only one. Most forums I've seen have been gatherings of minorities who want to feel a little community. Some AS traits might be showing through in the way that conversation rarely starts in such threads - everyone just reports on themselves.

I kinda like it that way - conversation is harder than self-reporting I'll just have to try keep my me-too-ing out of conversation threads!

Last edited by amaren on 10 May 2008, 9:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I do hope it isn't offensive to anyone. It's nice to fit in, nice to see people with your own unique traits.

I'm wondering if to some extent this isn't just a human thing, to be so thrilled not to be alone in the world when we think we are? And maybe that's what most human conversation and friendship is based on? And maybe aspies just feel it more on forums like this since we are both rare creatures to begin with, and we also (generally, of course there are exceptions) have less conversation and less friendship in our lives?

Or maybe we're just so completely off of the narcissistic deep end that we see ourselves in everything. But I doubt it.

More often, I find these random quirks strange, and I don't relate at all to them. I am offput that so many people respond in the affirmative.

That's how it is for me-reminds me of Donna Williams' writing about her childhood & having to ask peers about herself. For instance, I know what I want in a given situation but don't know "what that says about me", to other people. Can perceive an aspect at a time, not a bunch of factors or features simultaneously (can't imagine comprehensively, only piecemeal).

Voted for "me too", because participating here (putting name/words to one's experiences) is about mutual understanding of mystifying realities. Competition is besides the point (in my opinion, at least)-this is not a "pissing contest" or "my scar is bigger than yours". "One-upsmanship" bores the heck out of me-honesty is much more important priority/value to me than bluster/puffery or trying to impress/outdo each other at boastful hyperbole & martyrdom.

I am a "me too!".

It is comforting to know that there are people that understand what I'm talking about instead of dismissing my problems as "being all in my head" or an "excuse for being lazy." I'm definitely in the "me, too!" category.