Adult living facilities for people with autism and AS?
autistican_beauty
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 20 Apr 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 34
Location: Between a rock and a hard place
I'd like to hear from adults on the spectrum living in apartments esp. for those with autism. I know one such place exists in Arizona. I am wondering what will become of my future. I don't want to wind up in a nursing home or mental hospital if I can't live in a regular house when there's nobody to care for me someday. I'm 28 now and mom's 69. Some things I'd like to know are:
1. Are dogs allowed
2. Are children allowed
3. Are there options for those who want to live with families and those who want to live single and quiet
4. Is there an on-site workshop (so I could supplement my disability income and have purpose)
5. A staff to check in on you to see if you're okay or in need of anything
If you would feel comfortable with giving me the name of the facility where you live, I'd appreciate it. The choice to do so is totally up to you.
Thank you
_________________
D. Plainview
I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!! !! !! !!
Are you autistic or Aspie?
Cause, I've been an aspie my whole life and I've lived on my own the entire time. Facilities like the one you mentioned don't try to encourage you, if anything they do their level best to keep you in an infantile state so that you never learn to fend for yourself. They're in it for the money basically and they can't get money if you're able to "supplement" your income.
Trust me, on your own is best.
Basically, if you can help it, get to a state that has services available that can follow you wherever you want to live, rather than the other way around.
I grew up in California, where you can get independent living skills training, and/or supported living services, and still live wherever you want (provided you can afford it). You can live on your own, or with a paid roommate who helps you out with things, and either way you get the same amount of services.
I moved to Vermont to be near a friend, but I first made sure they also had a similar system. Here, it's the same thing, you can live on your own or with a hired roommate, the difference being that they do try to limit your services more if you're on your own, although I'm part of a pilot program where they use electronic surveillance part of the day instead of a roommate, and only send someone over if you need help during that part of the day.
In both of those cases, you can get the same level of services as if you were in a facility, but without some of the problems that crop up in those facilities, including without anyone taking all your money. California also had workshops (which were always separate from the particular facilities), Vermont does not, although I've never looked into it, among other things because I was told by someone at SSI I wouldn't be capable of working at them due to health and movement problems. Many states have similar systems, just be careful of ones where you have to have an IQ below a certain amount, unless your IQ is below that amount. Contrary to what some people on this board believe, there's nothing special about specific facilities that gets you better services unless where you live funds services in a screwy enough way that you can't get them any other way (in which case it's a funding issue, not an issue of the services being better), and there are plenty of things about those facilities that make the services in general worse than getting the same ones somewhere else.
_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
Here in New York State, there are community residences and supportive appartments for those individuals needing assistance to
live on their own. Eventually, these individuals can move into their own apartments should they want to do so.
There is also, a sheltered workshop for those individuals not ready and able to work in regular jobs in the community. These jobs involve janitorial work, manufacturing (assembly) type work, sewing, clerical work, grounds keeping and various other types of work under contracts with community employers.
In addition, many individuals like yourself, participate in a habilitation day treatment program where they are involved with
therapy and social activities throughout the day...yet, some individuals may only attend one or two days a week when they are
not working at the sheltered workshop. The whole idea is to help people feel useful and less likely to fall into depression due to
feelings of isolation and aloneness.
New York State has exceptional programs and services for people in need...
Best of luck to you!
For reference, I know someone who worked in some of those "supported apartments" in New York, and she said they were essentially run like a group home or any other institution, only in separate apartments instead of all in one place. She said that they had great literature, that really made them look good and that paid lip service to self-determination, but that behind the scenes, the staff would refer to the clients as "ret*ds", make sure that they couldn't see their boyfriends and girlfriends, disregard crucial medical instructions, etc.
The problem was that once someone moved there it was then too late, they already lived there and anything bad that happened was their word against staff's, if they even had a way to say it. Before they moved there, of course, they had all kinds of ways to impress people about why they (or their children) should move there, and really managed to look quite wonderful from the outside.
Additionally, if you ever want to live on your own, it's better to just do it and get services there, than to go somewhere where they claim you have to be "ready". Because it's been shown (in scientific studies) that in the sorts of places people go "before they're ready", it's harder to learn the skills they claim you'll need "when you're ready", and it just gets into a vicious cycle. Better to try to find some place that views living on your own as a right, not as something you have to earn by having a certain skill level. (Because, believe me, having known a lot of people in supported living programs in their own houses or apartments, anyone can live on their own. Even someone with no standard expressive language at all, who destroys their own clothing and property all the time, and has violent outbursts, trouble walking on their own, and no self-care skills. As long as they get the right support to do it. And if people in that situation can live on their own with the right supports, then the only thing making it hard for them or anyone else is the structure of the system, not innate difficulties with things.)
It's not that individual agencies can't cause you trouble if you're living on your own. They can. They can even put you in a situation that can get ugly. But the difference, is that if you're living on your own, you can always move away, no prerequisites needed. Or you can switch from one agency to another for providing services. You have far more freedom to ditch a bad agency and go with a good one, and you don't even have to move from one place to another to do it, because if you're living on your own then what agency you get is not tied to your place of residence at all.
In my own place, I've had everything from an atrocious agency that did little more than replicate institutions in a supposed "community" setting, to a really good agency where the woman who ran it had been on the wrong end of some of the systems herself and really tried to give people a chance to have whatever kind of life they wanted. Most are somewhere in between. The thing is, if you get into a facility where the agency comes with the facility, and where they say you can't leave until you're ready, then it's much harder to leave, sometimes impossible. It's easier if you have an agency that is crappy and abusive but you live in your own apartment and can just decide to switch agencies if one is bad enough that you want to.
_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
Even the most severely disabled people should be encouraged to live as independently as possible. The more choices you make for yourself, the more people will respect you and treat you equally. In an institution, you're treated like a worthless child who has no right to sex, to choose what food you eat or which activities you engage in.
So please for your own sake try to get your own regular apartment. As anbuend pointed out there should be places where you can still get the support you need except you have more control over it. To find meaning in your life maybe it would be useful for you to do a little voluntary work. I'm going to do some soon and despite not feeling confident about my abilities I think it's a useful way to meet people - much easier than in a bar or nightclub where I have no idea what to talk about.
You can still go to sheltered workshops even if you live on your own. I wouldn't really want to, and am not really able to anyway (abilities not consistent enough), but they do still exist in most places, and often there is transportation provided.
I do prefer volunteer work because staff there are generally less paternalistic because lots of non-disabled people do it so they have to be more respectful (ugly but true). And also because I can do it whenever I'm able, instead of having to be on a schedule (which would just mean, often, lying on the floor and getting in trouble for that, because my motor skills can't take that much of a beating -- I've been told that I'd end up in a day program for people who can't do sheltered workshops, if I were interested in doing anything like that in the first place). I work with cats when I'm able to and I love it. In the past I have worked in wildlife rescue. I also do volunteer work consulting with a research team on autism-related subjects (might even turn into a paid part-time job depending on what my benefits are like and how much I'm able to do). If you're looking for money, there are some part-time jobs that often let people do them for small amounts of money, such as local libraries which often want to pay someone a little bit to shelve books or something (and libraries are great to work in because they are very orderly, quiet, and structured).
_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
It's better than being in a hospital, homeless or dead. Asperger's can be just as severe as autism in many ways; it ranges from "mild" to "severe".
Looking at one "aspie" isn't the same as looking at another.
It seems like most of the posters here feel the same way I do. So maybe it's not so much of judging one aspie or another as it is judging the system of which the topic is speaking.
The problem was that once someone moved there it was then too late, they already lived there and anything bad that happened was their word against staff's, if they even had a way to say it. Before they moved there, of course, they had all kinds of ways to impress people about why they (or their children) should move there, and really managed to look quite wonderful from the outside.
Additionally, if you ever want to live on your own, it's better to just do it and get services there, than to go somewhere where they claim you have to be "ready". Because it's been shown (in scientific studies) that in the sorts of places people go "before they're ready", it's harder to learn the skills they claim you'll need "when you're ready", and it just gets into a vicious cycle. Better to try to find some place that views living on your own as a right, not as something you have to earn by having a certain skill level. (Because, believe me, having known a lot of people in supported living programs in their own houses or apartments, anyone can live on their own. Even someone with no standard expressive language at all, who destroys their own clothing and property all the time, and has violent outbursts, trouble walking on their own, and no self-care skills. As long as they get the right support to do it. And if people in that situation can live on their own with the right supports, then the only thing making it hard for them or anyone else is the structure of the system, not innate difficulties with things.)
It's not that individual agencies can't cause you trouble if you're living on your own. They can. They can even put you in a situation that can get ugly. But the difference, is that if you're living on your own, you can always move away, no prerequisites needed. Or you can switch from one agency to another for providing services. You have far more freedom to ditch a bad agency and go with a good one, and you don't even have to move from one place to another to do it, because if you're living on your own then what agency you get is not tied to your place of residence at all.
In my own place, I've had everything from an atrocious agency that did little more than replicate institutions in a supposed "community" setting, to a really good agency where the woman who ran it had been on the wrong end of some of the systems herself and really tried to give people a chance to have whatever kind of life they wanted. Most are somewhere in between. The thing is, if you get into a facility where the agency comes with the facility, and where they say you can't leave until you're ready, then it's much harder to leave, sometimes impossible. It's easier if you have an agency that is crappy and abusive but you live in your own apartment and can just decide to switch agencies if one is bad enough that you want to.
We have that, thankfully, here in Minnesota. I have a staff from a local agency called CCRI that comes to my place on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday to help with cleaning and to help run errands.
I've lived at a home like that for a week.
My mother at the time kept telling me it was the best thing until i gave in and decided to try it.
I came to live in a house with 1 other person who has pdd-nos ( i have as ).
The rules were i had to have a 1 hour conversation with one of the staff 4 times a week.
I had to plan those every week as for the price paid they had to give that.
This drove me nuts as i only really wanted like 1 hour per month to maybe be reminded to do the important stuff in life wich i sometimes neglect a bit.
There was another even bigger problem with this, i got stuck with this pdd-nos guy who had fixed habits and a fixed way of living life.
He was religious and had a totally different lifestyle wich he was convinced was the only good way to live.
This guy wanted everything the way he wanted it to be.
I couldn't put a bunch of beers cold even though there was plenty of room in the fridge.
Because he was afraid the grocerys from 3-4 days on may not fit into it.
He though anyone drinking more than 1 beer a week was an alcoholic.
Furthermore he wanted the little lights on every device turned off when not used.(he must have listened to al gores enviremental propoganda...)
He wanted to eat only biological stuff wich meanth he spend like double to grocery budget.
The funny part was he was unemployed and thought everything was owed to him.
Besides this guy i have visited some other homes like these of people i became friends with.
Some had really strict rules wich seriously limited people enjoying theyr lives.
Pretty much everything had to be discussed beforehand with the employees leading the group homes.
Otherwise they'd find some lame excuse to ruin peoples fun.
Generally i found the people in these group homes couldn't handle money well.
They just spend theyr allowance they got 1-2 times a week instantly, and still tried to borrow like theyr life depended on it.
Hence there are always arguements about money, because everyone spends like a miljonaire whilst they have very little income.
That's one thing i could never understand about people even in general, why try to spend money you don't have ?
I recently worked for one of those independant living places. I didn't like what I saw and kept my own autism a secret. Here's the scoop: your SSI or other moneys is turned over to a guardian, sometimes a public fidiciary who controls all your money and gives you maybe $20 spending money a month to buy whatever you want anything from new underwear, a new shirt or junk food. Yeah forget every buying a dvd, cd or video game that you want or buying whatever your Aspie obsession is. Most of the client's money is wasted on constant trips to the doctor just to inspect some bruise they get or wasted on buying nasty food that you don't want to eat, but are forced too.
The caregivers are generally any loser they can hire off the street and pay minimum wage. Those caregivers often abuse the clients, steal from them and call them ret*ds. They control what you eat, how much you are allowed to eat and drink. They do daily body checks on people where they are stripped down and inspected for bruises, scrapes and such. If you are a good little autie they will give a monthly "reward" of 30 minutes alone to masturbate. They do not allow people to have friendships outside of their roommates or allow someone to go anywhere on their own. Females are forced to have gynecological exams every 3 months and are forced to take contraception regardless of the current debate that many of those hormone pills and shots cause cancer.
The place I worked had a 50% turnover of caregivers every week because either people hate working with the ret*ds as they refer to every client or the caregivers are caught abusing or molesting the clients.
If you are able to live independantly then you are better off living without being under the supervision of an agency. There are work programs and some assistance at least in the US and Canada through Voc Rehab where they will give you the help you request as in getting therapy, but not take over your entire life nor take over your bank account.
KingdomOfRats
Veteran

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,833
Location: f'ton,manchester UK
autistican_beauty,
am can only judge from uk experience,but in the LD/autism institution,and residential homes am have lived/still live in,am have never been able to have any pets,for various reasons.
if it is own place,wont have the problem of others getting in the way but the company might not allow pets,or sometimes they might allow certain pets-sister had this problem when she used to rent a house-they did not allow any animal.
the only way am think a dog might be able to get in [and this depends on whether have the same laws] is to get dog registered as an assistance/guide dog,as they cannot refuse them then [is what am have seen anyway].
the place am live in now is full time dedicated residential care,but they told am only a month after moving in they couldnt cope with am and would be moving to a new home,it's core is for mod/severe LD,severe/lf auties with high complex needs are unsuitable here, but there is another lfaer here who they find easy to cope with and will probably live here for the rest of her life,there was an aspie who used to live here,but she was moved to a different home as she has severe challenging behavior [she is one of many who proves that aspie stereotype wrong].
the problem with living with others [would think it would still affect those in seperate parts] who are of the same autism level is they can be very noisy [banging things,likes playing music up loud all day,might have echolalia or grunting and shouting all day,might have tv on loud all day etc],dont forget these things if are going to look at a place.
the area might be too busy as well,and if there are a lot of grass/hedges.... around,that will mean lawn mowers,hedge trimmers and so on..
check out camphill villages [they're in america to] these sound like they might be what are looking for as they match a lot of that.
am not sure how things work there,but in UK,person has to have a needs assessment by social services,who say whether are suitable for residential,group home,own place with support,doesn't need support at all etc before being given placement in any,
is that not required in US or have had one already?
_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Ok I posted this in the adult autism but there is a myriad
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
03 Apr 2025, 1:06 am |
Is Clark Kent a great representation of adult autism? |
10 Feb 2025, 8:03 pm |
Living Alone? |
04 Feb 2025, 8:58 am |
The Hardest Part Of Living Alone |
16 Apr 2025, 1:57 pm |