Going to a therapist, a few questions...
After a few months of being self-diagnosed, I've got an appointment to see a nearby therapist in two months. I've got a few questions/concerns.
First off, I just want to clear the air and say that I'm mad at my GP. I specifically said I wanted a psychiatrist. I don't know whether or not I said this specifically to him, but my line of thinking included the fact that I wanted "an actual doctor." He said that psychiatrists only work in hospitals, not out in their own clinics (I live in a major city, so I find that hard to believe) and that it might be tricky if I'm not in the "catch area" (or something) of the nearest hospital with psychiatrists. He went on to say: '"Are you sure you want a psychiatrist? They're really just like me: all they do is prescribe medication."
So we get the call and it turns out the person I was referred to (not sure if they're male or female) is..."a medical doctor who practises psychotherapy." They were clear that (s)he's not a psychiatrist or even a psychologist.
How common is that? I only ask because i find it suspicious that an M.D. is doing psychotherapy without medically specializing. My first thought was that this person failed as a doctor or something...
I'm also wondering about my chances of being diagnosed given that this person isn't (as far as I know) an ASD specialist. I've been looking around at the various misdiagnosis threads, and I can safely rule out the possibility of being diagnosed with most of them. Really the only other thing that I see as even a possibility is schizoid personality disorder (my original self-diagnosis, which fits decently for the social aspects but doesn't cover the rest).
I'm also wondering what effect the previous diagnoses from my GP will have. There's probably a diagnosis of depression (because someone convinced me to fake it in order to get anti-depressants which would "help" me, which they actually did, except they mostly helped with the OCD that nobody had really noticed). There should also be some kind of anxiety diagnosis (I had one panic attack and that same someone insisted that I push to get Ativan, which I mostly ended up using to get to sleep once in a while).
I should also mention that I probably won't bring up Asperger's with the psych. Whenever I bring up any idea about anything to anyone it's either misunderstood, attacked, or both. I've become fearful of putting out ideas because of it. Even in writing I couldn't; I feel I would fail if suddenly asked verbally to defend my assertion.
My current plan is to go in and say that I know there's something wrong with me but it's not depression or GAD. I'm in touch with reality and am emotionally pretty flat, so both psychoses and emotional dysregulation type things (borderline, bipolar, etc.) should be ruled out fairly quickly. Discussion may eventually turn to my childhood, where I can mention all my little "what's wrong with me?" moments. If AS is eventually suggested, I'll admit I came in with that theory, explain why I didn't mention it, and offer to undergo some more objective test (they can diagnose via EEG, right?).
Really all I want is confirmation. Once I'm sure of what I have, I'll manage fine on my own. I don't plan on telling my parents, and I'd like to keep it from my GP too if that's legally possible.
One last thing I want to mention is that I won't have the "just looking for a disability" cloud hanging over my head. I already have an obvious physical disability for which I already receive gov't money, and which entitles me to any accommodation I could ever possibly want. My chances of getting diagnosed are probably improved by the fact that there's no question of my motives.
So, given all of that, what are my chances of being diagnosed?
_________________
Undiagnosed probably-Aspie.
Neurodiversity score: 146 of 200
AQ: 37
Your chances are... meh, I would say. Watch out for those schiziod personality ones they throw at you though... those can come back to haunt you.
As a patient, you have every right to seek a second, third, or even fourth opinion. So feel free to shop around! Also, whoever is the providor of the disability monies you get ought to be able to refer you to someone a bit more qualified.
_________________
Every time you think you've made it idiot proof, someone comes along and invents a better idiot.
?the end of our exploring, will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time. - T.S. Eliot
If it gets to the point where they mention schizoid PD, I'll probably take that opportunity to mention my self-diagnosis.
As for seeing a specialist, it's not really an option. It would be impossible for me to specifically see an autism specialist (or even look for one) without my parents knowing, which would raise questions. I didn't really say this in my original post, but this is something my parents can't know. They're the classic "you're just shy and depressed" type and would fight tooth-and-nail to stop me from following my theory
Oh, and I hate dealing with the place where I get my disability money. Everything to do with that place has an incredibly depressive vibe that makes me shudder. Besides, I don't even know if that specific agency deals with non-physical disabilities.
_________________
Undiagnosed probably-Aspie.
Neurodiversity score: 146 of 200
AQ: 37
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
I think you GP was initially trying to help, you need a psychologist to get a diagnosis, not a psychiatrist.
good luck! it has taken me about 8 months just to locate and secure a psychologist that diagnoses adult autists.
Merle
_________________
Alis volat propriis
State Motto of Oregon
Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand
In New Zealand, we have a law that states that when a person reaches the age of 18, ANY medical/psychological treatments can be kept hidden from parents if requested.
I'm not sure if it's the same where you live...but maybe?
_________________
I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.
I'm not sure if it's the same where you live...but maybe?
The law is the same, but it's not strictly a legal issue in my case. My physical disability requires someone trained to be with me (at most a few rooms away), and obviously accessible transport (which we have).
So they would at least know I was going somewhere different. I could probably take one of my hired people to the actual clinic/whatever, but my parents would at least demand to know it was a specialist, and would ask at least what his/her name was. Then they'd Google him/her, and voila...
I'm not being paranoid here. They are invasive people. (Actually, it's just one parent that's like that, but the other is mostly neutral.)
I know I could theoretically say "I'm an adult and it's none of your business," but that would just stir things up. It's also not good to implicitly say "I have a mental condition requiring a specialist, but for some reason I'm not going to tell you what it is."
Honestly I could probably find some way to work it, but I want to at least get an opinion from the generic therapist first.
Really, if it was just a matter of "I'm going to the doctor, be back before dinner" I'd be fine.
_________________
Undiagnosed probably-Aspie.
Neurodiversity score: 146 of 200
AQ: 37