Why do people seem to have issues with people not hating

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having aspergers?

Granted some people may want not to have it, granted some people may hyave point caused by it they wished they don't want, but why can't people accept...

1. There are people that dont = it to a disease or injury,
2. There are people who wopuld hate being like other people,
3. there are people who like being who they are.

If you have it and don't want it, its ok, but its ok for those who have it to not want to be "changed" into what is considered "normal" I reember this twilight zone(oor was it outer limits) where there were a handful of forms people could have, and when you came of age, you had to undergo surgery to fit in one of thse basic forms.

I see this come up a lot.
How do we get changed to normal?

At some age when I realized that being different made me not have friends,
I wanted counseling to learn how to have friends, and it only helped a little
over many years, and probably cost too much for the rate of progress.

What process is there for conversion to normal? What could it be?
Brain surgery?
Medication? (It would probably be called "DOPE")
Just joking.
If nothing works, its pointless to push the NORMAL button,
because it has no power.

NORMAL is probably defined as a certain height and weight and
100 IQ and two and a half pets, LOL. The whole world is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

If I was god, war wouldn't be normal and people would live forever
and sing love songs to each other instead of talk, and no one would
be hungry or need money because food just grows on trees and stuff.
(And there would be no snakes or apples to mess it all up)

-Don't adjust your mind, reality is malfunctioning!

Point is, there are people that see this as not a problem, and there is no reason to be changed. This should be just accepted. Personally I like snakes and apples.

It's a bit of an AS trait to think people are crazy for not agreeing with you. Sorry that was a bit of a generlisation.

I see it as it is: a disorder. I have heard many times of other disorders being called differences and making us gifted and talented. I just don't believe it anymore. I remember when people considered dyslexia and the next step in evolution.
Be happy with it if you want. I don't care. Maybe if I didn't have this possible ADHD and other learning disorders I could be content with it too.

People also considred different skin color a disorder, or at least inferior. All of me is in perfect order, just not the order of others

We see a good bit of commiseration on this site, which merely proves the old adage "misery loves company".

There is a lady on this site, somewhat north of me, who is HFA to the point of being essentially non-verbal by her own testimony. She is working on her PhD. If you read her posts, they are almost always upbeat.

Me? I have a genius iq, am far more normal, and am a high school dropout with a G.E.D., who twists wires for a living. I could have, and should have had a PhD, and be a leading expert in some field by now. Granted, she has had more help than I have been provided with, however, she has also made better choices.

My advice? Read up on Helen Keller, and then just try to feel sorry for yourself. We all have gifts as well as disadvantages. What's yours?

I didn't understand it either as a teen. In couldn't understand how can people like being autistic. How can people enjoy having AS? Was it because it gives them an excuse to get their way and be rude and nasty and say whatever they want to people?

That's what I thought then of those people. I am sure NTs wouldn't understand this either about how can someone like having a disability. I was shocked to hear how some deaf people wouldn't want to get rid of their hearing loss or blind people getting rid of their blindness. I wouldn't want those. Who in the right mind would want to live in a dark world or live not being able to see well? Who in the right mind would want to live in a silent world or not hear much?

No one wants to have a condition. Those who do, they have a condition already. Ever heard of Factitious disorder? Or Munchhausen? I wonder if there is a name for those who likes having a disability or who likes being sick or having a disease?

But I understand now why people would like their AS. They look at the positives it's given them. But they still don't like their struggles. Plus getting rid of it would mean you wouldn't be you anymore. You be a whole different person. Plus everyone has things they need to work on and everyone has something they don't like about themselves. So I view myself as a normal person. I don't get much crap anymore like I did as a kid. My life got better after I finished high school. So why hate my AS if it doesn't give me much problems anymore?
I also don't try and fit in anymore or try and have friends so I'm happy. I am also not in school so no more meltdowns, I live on my own so no more meltdowns. Now they are rare. My AS effected me a lot in my last two relationships but in this one, not much because of the kind of husband I have. But when I was single, my AS was much milder but when I have someone in my life, it make it worse so it seemed like I had more all of a sudden. Then I just wanted to give up in having a relationship and finally understood why some aspies say they can't have one and are unable to. I was afraid I was one of those aspies. So I quit looking for one deciding if a right guy comes, he comes. If he doesn't, oh well. He came.

How I feel about my AS, maybe deaf people, blind people, and people who are in wheelchairs feel the same way as I do. They feel they don't need to hear to be happy, they don't need to see to be happy. They are fine the way they are. I wonder if Helen Keller ever wanted to get rid of her hearing loss and blindness and be able to see and hear like the rest of us?
But I bet none of them want to get crap for their disabilities but yet still not want to cure their problems if there was one. Same way about having AS.

Sure having different skin color isn't an impairment but it gave them crap from people who were white. Sometimes they still get crap. Same as being a homosexual. They got crap for it a lot and it was in the DSM until 1973. Now they are more accepted.

I agree it's a disability. But I would not change it. There are many, many more important things in life than not being disabled. Being myself is one of them. And there is nothing about being disabled that makes my life intrinsically worse than that of someone who is not.

I have to admit I get annoyed at the people who assume that to accept your autism you have to believe that it makes you superior, or that the only reason it is OK to have autism is that it gives you special skills.These things simply do not make much sense to me. In my experience, claiming superiority seems to be more of a compensation for having internalized long-term prejudice than any sign of self-esteem. And special skills as a reason for autism to be OK are a very superficial reason... because that would mean the life of an NT would be inferior to that of a gifted person, and the best lives would be those with the most talent in them. What if you lost those skills; would autism suddenly not be OK? Does that mean that people with more skills than you are better than you, or that people with less have lives that are worse? But happiness is possible for anyone at any skill level. One of the happiest people I have ever met had no particular talent--except, possibly, being talented at enjoying life.

I haven't got much problem with somebody not wanting to be autistic; but the fact is, you haven't got a choice about it; and if you spend your life trying to be non-autistic or waiting around for a magical cure, you're not going to enjoy it. You're just going to get bitter and feel horrible about yourself. Even worse when parents don't accept it; the kids get dragged from doctor to doctor, therapy to therapy, and lose their childhood. It's not so much the "I don't like having autism" I'm worried about; it's the, "My primary goal is to get rid of my autism," or the, "I can't live my life properly unless I'm not autistic." You focus on some theoretical cure, or spend all your time trying to act as little like an autistic person as you can, and you'll just waste time you could've spent doing what you liked to do.

It should be just accept that not everyone sees it as a disabilty, and not want to be changed, even if it isnt understood

If one was able to "change" from autistic to neurotypical, what do you think would happen? Would you lose your "obsessive interests"? Would you suddenly feel more confident in social settings? Would any cognitive abilities be diminished? Would you be magically become more successful in relationships? Hm...

Yeah what Callista said. I also hate when people assume that if you want to stay autistic then you're not as impaired as those who don't. Or that it's just an excuse to be irresponsible and nasty (hello, autistic != nasty or irresponsible). Or that you don't see yourself as disabled. I have known a lot of people who have every opinion about being autistic and they come from every configuration of autism j have ever seen. Plus it makes it sound like I have no power to make up my own mind -- if autism causes me to have trouble doing a lot of things then somehow that will make ne hate it well it doesn't.

I also don't care what anyone else chooses to believe about their own being autistic. But they shouldn't make broad sweeping statements about how anyone with certain difficulties would want a cure, because it's just not true.

I have a lot of conditions. Some I want a cure and some I don't. But even the ones I want a cure, I don't want it so badly that the rest of my life suffers until I can get it. Why? Because... well for instance I have trigeminal neuralgia. Which is a fricking evil condition. It basically is a pain nerve firing off in your face in a nasty way. I don't know of anyone who likes it although who knows there may be someone.

There are treatments but no 100% cures. The things that sometimes cure it can also sometimes generate a far worse form of it that is permanent, untreatable, responds to no medications or other therapies. So it's a crapshoot. And I would rather have the kind you can treat than risk having the kind you can't. So I treat it but I won't try the surgery or the permanent nerve freezing that sometimes cure and sometimes make it worse. Because I never ever want to go back to how it was before treatment, but with no hope of getting better.

But if there were a less risky cure for TN I would want it. It is at the top of my list of conditions I want cured. Because having the pain is bad enough that it affects my everyday life even with treatment. It's bad enough that when my face stops being numbed up from the novocaine shot they give before my nerve treatments it feels like a gate between me and the world slams shut. And that gate is shut all the time.

But at the same time? Even though i want a cure. Even though it affects my life every day. I don't obsess on it. I don't wallow in it. I don't constantly go on about how miserable my life is. Because if I did those things I would add emotional pain to physical pain and my life would be miserable. It would at the least double the discomfort I am in now. And what would be the point in that?

So even when I want a cure it is never my first priority in life. Because I have other things to do and I have a life I want to live. I have even talked to people with worse conditions, ones that will kill them, who say the same. Because even though their life is shorter and they wish for a cure so it would be longer, to obsess on cures would just make their last days miserable and they don't have as many as most of the rest of us to spare.

So I understand wanting a cure but letting that desire eat you up is dangerous, it can lead to depression and other forms of misery. I don't want a cure for autism but if I did I would put it on the back burner because if it existed it probably won't be soon and may not work on people over a certain age. That is my attitude to the things I do want a cure for -- not top priority unless there already is one and I could do it in the near future.

I never knew, not till 58 or so. I was different, so is everyone, and boring is the most common human trait. My life was not boring, I know I felt enjoyment more than others, I do have a few good traits, I used them, everyone does.

There were some things I thought I should change, so I did. All the people around also made changes.

As humans we coped, lots vary, conditions change, I did spend more time on self education than most, I am good with machines, and find interacting with a lot of people tiring. I had sales jobs, I was not happy, I found things I could do alone.

WP is the first and only site I joined, for first I thought it a joke, then it sank in, I am Autistic, and that explains a lot.

I came through a link on AOL, Ten Medical Conditions that give Super Powers, my kind of story, and I found Asperger's, and a WP link, I looked, paced, looked, shut down, paced, booted up and joined.

Ever since I have been bothered by what I see as people who have been taught to hate themselves. You are wrong, need to be cured, and I do not think that is possible, but there is a lot of it.

Malcom X, "Who taught you to hate yourself."

Only through education and Psychology passing as a science.

I have been shocked by some stories here.

Now 63, we do change, everyone does, but not much. My WP knowledge has not changed me, just educated.

Protesting Autism Speaks, seems anti science, the hate directed at the parents, the hate cheerleaders, is just wrong.

Cure did work on Small Pox, Polio, and I think those good things.

They are just fundraisers, and like the mothers of the March of Dimes, just hoping for a better world.

I do follow the science, a hobby, and no cure is likely, for no single cause has been found.

I still think the study should go on for it throws light on a lot of the human mental process and development. Recent treatment seems much more humain, and effective.

Being anti cure does not make sense for there is none, nor anytime soon, nor would it work on anyone post development.

There is no single gene marker, there will not be selective abortion.

If it is a virus, it should have been found, HIV was tricky, and it got found. It has been studied and nothing of promise has come of it.

If a virus was found, and a vaccine could be developed, it would be used on babies. Everyone here is autistic, and all have different personalities. I think that and talents would survive a vaccine.

The top end curve of IQ seems the same for Autism and everyone else. That would not change.

I did not know about autism, no one would ever know they were cured by a vaccine.

A vaccine is a scientific longshot, and at least twenty years away.

We are stuck being us, some change is possible, I am still looking for the Owners Manual that should come with being a human, of any kind. It seems yet to be written.

It does have advantages, I still ask childish questions, get answers, and learn. I do not act my age.

I have two choices, being happy with myself, or being unhappy.

I did regret my hand writting, till Windows 3.0, it has not been a problem since. Communication was a problem, till I got internet. Doing business on the web I am superior, which makes up for the old days.

I am not only living my life, I am living in the present. I like it.

Sure, lots of people did better, but lots of them died in their early forties, Of those left, I am doing well.

It is the only real choice, live your life.

For me I have a topsy turvy view on my AS. One week I'm content in myself and my solitary hobbies, the next week I'm upset and hating having AS because one social interaction was not successful, the other week I'm neutral about hating/loving AS - it's just there.
I may hate the superiority attitude some people have, even find it annoying that people are more contented with it than me, but I do love the feeling of community I have with other aspies/autistics when we discuss and relate our issues to each other. It's the same with other disorders I have.
It is difficult, it is rewarding but we suffer/love it together.