from invisible to NT aggravant in 2 days flat...

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Yesterday, a boss came up to me and said "You are back!". I am what? I asked. Where was I? Oh, hadn't you gone somewhere? Um. Okay, I was at the dentists earlier in the day, but I was back at the office before he got in. I have been at work for the last two days. I TALKED to the man the day before (I did mention travel plans - very future travel plans - I wasn't going anywhere that very minute, however). This is a man who I think a lot of - he is extremely patient with my speech, hears all I have to say, and has NEVER walked away when I am talking or interrupted me in an impatient way - rare indeed. That he didn't see me (and he ARGUED with me that I wasn't there) surprised me. Apparently, my invisibility cloak must have been kicked in or something yesterday.

To bad today wasn't yesterday. The manager wanted holiday dates so she could finish the schedule - understandable. Well, I wanted to see what the on call schedule was, so I could plan accordingly to be away when the "easy" docs are there, so whoever takes over my job can do it easily - I hate going away for vacation or coming back when I know that on either end I will be forced to multi-mistake while I am trying to catch up. I wrote out my days, and why I wanted them like that (just because someone invariably asks "why" when I make decisions like I do, I try to be preemptive if I can). Granted, I gave too much information on retrospect and have learned my lesson - point form only in the future. I had only 2 weeks accounted for (that is 10 days). I still had to find a place for 5 days, but I also wrote on the note that I would get back as quickly as I could with it, and that I wanted to add days to make longer weekends, not a big block of time off. I like to be alone, thats not a problem, I just don't like the increased stress involved in a big block of vacation time like that. I can handle so much stress, and then it begins to tear away at me. How can I enjoy my time away if I feel there is a dark cloud of doom waiting for me when I come back?

So, she comes to talk to me about my request - IN the middle of the office and talks LOUDLY about this, and I was beginning to feel like a small naughty child. She was telling me how weekends didn't count and was I aware I was only scheduled for 10 days, not 15.. and it went on. In the meantime, I am pointing at the line that says "I will get back to you about the last 5 days". She keeps saying "do you understand". ! Its probably a good thing my voice shuts down in situations like that, sigh.

Sigh, yes, it was my fault, somewhere in that note I must have insulted her somehow (or maybe she was ready to be insulted because of something else, who knows - although how it concerned me I don't know). I know others don't get taken down this loudly and publicly. Certainly the woman who has earned that kind of contempt in the office has never been talked to like that, although she probably would benefit from it (they walk on eggshells around her). I am surprised at this manager, this is something new. Whatever it was to insult her , I did it well.

I just mostly feel like ranting a bit today, sigh.

I can only say "I understand!"
oh, all that stuff about yelling bosses, embarrassing and loud in front of other people. I have inadvertently insulted people that made them strive to embarrass me because they thought I was supremely conniving, because everyone knows I am so smart and if they were that smart they would certainly use it just like that knife I just put in their backs. .

I am so sorry this is happening to you, because rarely can anyone overcome it, rarely do they ever know or even know to know you never did any such thing.

my heart goes out to you grinningkitty. . .

Merle

PS the only grinning cat I know is the Chesire one!

Thanks Merle I was asking another lady (who is second in command and is usually someone I can confide in) if she heard the conversation, and she was quite appalled, she couldn't believe that the manager had done that. The thought was, maybe it was deferred anger -- there was an incident in which a delivery company brought us a 250 lb examining table, and left it downstairs for us to deal with (because only one guy came to deliver it, and it wouldn't fit in the elevator so he made it "our" problem - two docs actually had to go down and drag it physically into the lobby so it wouldn't be stolen or damaged. They finally had to get a moving company to bring it up the stairs). The office manager was mad at that but - again, certainly there was other ways this woman could have dealt with her anger. I don't know, maybe we just have a sign on our heads saying "heap abuse here" or something, sigh.





I had actually wanted that for my screen name, but sadly it was taken - not a surprise. I liked it because that is exactly what I feel like sometimes, when I smile the rest of me disappears and people just don't register that I am there. Maybe that was the problem yesterday, I didn't smile hard enough? I have to find a good avatar - tigger is cute, but no one forgets he is there