Are my parents abnormal?

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I feel like my parents are broken somehow.But not really.


I see all these parents of autistic who write books talk about how sad they are on their kid's birthdays, how they wish they had a normal kid, and if they did have a normal they would be so greatful and would thank god, and when once they did have a normal kid they would say how much more fun it was to raise the kid, and how they would thank god that all their hopes and dreams came true.

My parents never felt me and my brother, who are both autistic were broken, they knew that when my brother stopped talking something wasn't completly right, but they didn't regret his birthday or say he was broken.They just helped him start talking.

I don't understand.Is there something wrong with what my parents did? is it because my parents might both be on the spectrum too?

Why does the way my parents raised me seem so different everything I keep reading?


Are my parents abnormal?

Yes, your parents are abnormal: they sound like wonderful people who take yourself and your bother as they are and do not lament about what you could have been. More people should be like your parents.

Yes, your parents are abnormal...thank goodness. Their love and acceptance of you is going to do more to help you succeed in life that all the vitamin supplements and ABA therapy that some parents use to "fix" their kids.

the "other" parents you speak of are the abnormal ones. That is just arrogant, close minded, conditional love. The fact that your parents still love you and your brother even though you are "different" is a good thing, and it is as it should be (as long as you aren't spoiled rotten or anything)

Your parents sound like wonderful people, I wish there were more people like that, because then Autism Speaks wouldn't exist in the form it currently does.

Rare. Wonderful. Precious.

Please thank them for being the exception... I agree with The_Cucumber - their viewpoint is much more healthy than those espoused by parents who resent their children, as seems to be prevalent in the membership if ASpeaks. I'll raise my glass to their efforts.


M.

I had the same kind of parents you had. They didn't see me as broken or defective or messed up. They didn't see me as needing to be fixed and wishing I was a regular child. Sure my mother wished I could talk because then it would make me a happier child, I won't be as frustrated because then I could tell what's bothering me, tell what I want, etc. instead of living as a mute child. They even refuse to say I was a difficult child to raise, lot of work, cost them too much.

Says I:

Parentals waaay odd, borderline eccentric, pops borders on autistic spectrum, moms is weirds, too.
No siblings. Parents caring and supportive, did not push normal but could tell it was sad to them at times.
Shrinks helped not. Did not guess Rumplestiltspergers Syndrome, wife guessed it before leaving.
If others have such parents, God bless them, every one.

Parents what poop on different kids being drugwise streetward, headwise shot, IMMFO.

BESIDES, you are STILL changing! WHO KNOWS!?!? You may end up the OPPOSITE of what they fear!

I am happy for you that your parents see you and your brother as whole , and not "broken".
Some parents do not understand or want to understand AS.

I think I am one of those parents to a degree. My Damo is NOT broken in any way. He is just a little boy who is different. Sure I do get a little sad and sometimes wish he was NT but he is my child and I love him to matter what he has. I have modified his diet a bit tho otherwise I would have one very out of control child. And as far as Autism Speaks go they can jump off a bridge

Here here!

http://nymag.com/news/features/47225/

I found this article on news of the weird and found it to be of the same concensus! No broken AS kids here!

Every time parents say they wished their child didn't have autism. I always thought they meant it literally, not wishing their child they have didn't exist, just wished they were normal.

That may be the intention, but how well does any child - much less one with interpretive difficulties - discern that meaning from the interpretation that their parents consider them defective and unwanted?

For some reason, the movie A.I. started playing in my head.


M.

my parents - mom in particular, dad just kind of went with whatever mom said - were big on the 'fixing' thing.
the last few years they started to resign themselves to my limitations. i think they needed to mourn a bit.
once that was over with, they started to be more supportive. since the AS diagnosis, they actually are more avidly supportive than ever. i guess the idea of a neurobiological disorder was something more tangible to them - they finally stopped blaming me, i think.
now, mom says things like, 'well of COURSE you can't grade yourself on a scale with everyone else' and 'it's a physical issue like your hearing loss. you shouldn't be ashamed of it!'

took 24 years, but i think it's better late than never.

long cry from the days where she would scream at me that i was deliberately ruining my life, that she was ashamed of me, that she would give me up for foster care.

i think there is a shot at redemption for most parents, as long as we stop now and then to give them a chance.

My parents were the same way. They wanted me to be happy, of course, but they never resented the fact that I was depressed and borderline AS. If that's abnormal, then abnormality is a very good thing!