Anybody else obsessed with communications and with psycholog

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Hey, everyone. I noticed from the time I was very small that I was absolutely obsessed with the "why" behind what people do (practically everything that they/we do) and with figuring out why people communicate the way they do.

I have always had this need to learn more and more about these two things so that I can communicate like a semi-normal person in public. (Or I hope that's what I'm doing. Not always sure!)

I can never get enough of marveling over why people do what they do socially and why they say what they say. Body language, different greetings, different tones of voice, what annoys people and when and why all totally "grab" me. I want to know why. All the time. Why did this make the person laugh but that not make the person laugh? Why was this funny one time but not three? Why was it funny three times but not ten? And on and on.

I will never have it all figured out but it did open up an interest in psychology for me, and I don't think that's a bad thing, so I consider it an okay obsession.

Anybody else?

In some ways, yeah. Mine in general is more "what makes people tick" or lifted up to a social abstraction, "how to make people tick." I usually regard it as more of an impulsive desire to control or obtain the best outcome rather than an obsession (but I think in general that is how it works). If someone laughs at something, I will repeat similar action, and if it works, the "experiment" is a success - I explore it further to see what else I can get out of it. What is there limit? Is their a breaking point? Is there a pattern I can abstract from/to? Is this applicable to others? What happens if I put them in "this" situation?

And this is where it starts to get in a abnormal area, because I particularly enjoy studying why people kill people, psychological and physical torture, the science of evil, motivations for war, sociopathic behavior, etc. along with the drive for survival. When they are in "this" situation - how do they change?

I have always tried to understand this too. There is logic behind everything, yet it is veiled in layers of apparent disorder; Yet disorder itself is logically defined. This type of conversation excites me too. I do try to have discussions about these things often, however, people do not like to discuss such seemingly serious matters.

Well we can def. talk about this if anybody wants to! I don't know where I would start with this...maybe just with observations...tomorrow is Thanksgiving, there should be plenty of psychological weirdness going on, LOL (gotta love family). I'm sure I'll come home with plenty of material.

Yes, sort of. I was compelled to the evolution behind it, more than how to pull it off, which is really what I need to know more and have been sort of pushing my special interest that way recently. Got some more books or sites I can read? I have probably been through about a dozen.

Well, today at T-giving dinner, my BIL's girlfriend's behavior totally confused me. She kept making remarks about children, around my children, and the remarks were to the effect that children should be polite...they should be made to wait...etc. She was saying this after, for example, my littlest asked for something more than once.

So I cracked down a bit more firmly on the kids and then all of a sudden she was acting all overly-sweet to them and giving me this "kids will be kids" attitude.

The nearest I can figure, either:

a. I misread her at first and she was actually backing me up on having had my child wait and then ask again.
b. She didn't understand my turnaround and reacted to that.
c. She was/is just as socially confused as I am -- that does remain a possibility. I mean you really never know.

I'm really interested in the "whys" of social interaction too, and have been fixated on "figuring people out": their intentions, motivations and perspectives, ever since I learned of my diagnosis as a teen. When in a social situation, I'm always thinking about other people, how they feel about certain things, and how they would respond to certain situations.

In general, I try to make myself stand out as less as possible by studying how people act, recognizing patterns in their behavior, and then attempting to replicate these patterns myself. However, I'll still maintain parts of my individuality depending on who I'm talking to. For example, I'll talk about a particular topic or display a particular sense of humor with people I know are interested, and will steer away from it with people who I know are not interested. I feel that it's really impossible to be truly yourself when you're around other people as you have to consider the other person you are talking to and be able to predict how they will react to certain things. I engage in a lot of perspective taking...it's truly a learned skill which requires a bit of an ability to read peoples reactions to things.

As for the situation above ^, I would see this as a subtle hint that the kids should be more polite/respectful...hence the positive change in behavior once you were more firm with the kids. Some of the messages conveyed by people are very subtle and this is where I think many people on the spectrum miss a lot of information.

Anneurysm, thank you, that was helpful. Makes sense.

EastWestCoastGirl, I think the silence means nobody has an answer to your situation. I don't, I generally pass myself as the mystic day dreamer who isn't in touch with the general doings in the normal world. Well, I am not in touch so I don't have to pretend. I have largely given up understanding such situations. Instead I just drift pretending I'm operating in another dimension.Consequently people think I'm off with the fairies and/or partaking in too much hallucinogenic material, which I don't touch at all because I don't need it. I abdicate from social situatons mainly and people who get to know me generally accept this as the way it is. If they won't accept it, then we part ways.

I'm obsessed with psychology/sociology/anthropology and always was. I'm obsessed with Lacan, Freud, Jung etc...