writing a new book

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so im working on a new book titled "broken"
everything in this book will either be something that happened or a reference to something that happened to me, people places, events and the effects they had on me and others. its like my memoir.
i feel this forum could appreciate this work.
also, please leave your comments on what i have,
im always listening to advice.
http://brokenthebook.tumblr.com/

anybody?

your link did not work when I tried it

it seems to be workin perfectly for me. i just clicked it, no copy and paste or anything.

I cant really grasp a story as its sort of random....more like poetry, lots of imagery. Good imagery, by the way. My husband thinks its what makes me a good writer is that Im a visual thinker and Im able to allow my reader to see what I see.

I hope that it becomes a big seller.

im sure id do too.lol
but what are your thoughts on it thus far?

Not to be insulting, but it still needs a little work.
Feels a bit random. It needs to focus on one thing instead of jumping everywhere.
Grammar is a bit off.
Not enough description of senses other than sound.

But if you work on it a bit more, I think it could be a great book .