I know this sounds stupid, My parents are fighting so much I know that they are going to divorce. I live at home, but I dont consider it home anymore. I wake up to a new hell everyday. I never know what will set off an explosion from either of them. I feel so jumpy, and scared about everything. I never used to be like this. I was making progress and was starting to be able to talk to people some and do some normal things. I just want to curl up in a ball a die. I find myself crying right now for no reason other than they are fighting again in their room. I used to think I had the perfect loving family until my grandmother died, now all my folks do is fight 24/7 about everything. I know my grandmas death hurt my mom, but I dont think she gets how bad all this is hurting me. I know what alot of you will say, get up and move out. But I cant. I dont have anywhere to go or any money, and I cant drive. I feel totally cut off from the world now, like Im not part of it. If something good happens I cant acknowledge it, because I know the bad will just be that much worse. I see them fight so much and for a brief time everything will seem like it goes back to normal. Then when they fight I feel that much worse. Its like having a person die, come back for a short time and then die again. I hear their doors slamming, I dont know what to do. My heart is pounding so hard and I feel weak. My health is starting to fail me too. I just dont know what to do. Is their anyone I could talk to online maybe for counseling. I would be greatful for any information.
19 Jul 2008, 11:54 pm
