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Kauf039
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20 Jul 2008, 6:01 pm

This is something that has always completely confused me. I have seen it wherever I go and no one else ever seems taken-a-back by it or even the least bit bothered. Someone (usually under 35, but sometimes much older) goes to another who is simply minding thier own business and either physically assults them (something like a shove, nothing to cause actual physical damage) or more often says something that is just plain cruel. It is meant to harm the person who has done nothing to them. It usually seems to be done when the offending party has the numbers advatage or at least the same amount of people. When there are others with the offending party, they seem to enjoy this harrassment and usually laugh and congratulate the person who does it.... or even take part in it.

I don't understand this bullying, why would one purposely cause another pain for no reason? And why is it acceptable in certain circles to do this? ...by this I of course mean the mob mentality of the others with the offender, not the society. I personnally think that this behaviour is dispicable and it turns my stomache to think of it. Most actions or viewpoints I can understand even if I would never agree with them, but this just boggles my mind and always has.

Any insite into this... would probably not help calm my mind, but would still be appriciated.


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Aurore
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20 Jul 2008, 6:25 pm

Kauf039 wrote:
I don't understand this bullying, why would one purposely cause another pain for no reason? And why is it acceptable in certain circles to do this? ...by this I of course mean the mob mentality of the others with the offender, not the society. I personnally think that this behaviour is dispicable and it turns my stomache to think of it.


And they say we lack sympathy!

It's revolting sociopathic behavior. I wish I could be more helpful. : ( But I'm just as lost as you.


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Amik
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20 Jul 2008, 6:25 pm

I think people do this to get a sense of control or power over others or because they don't feel good about themselves and think they can build up their own self-esteem by breaking somebody's elses. When done in groups, I think they want to impress their mates by showing they have the power to intimidate someone else.

I don't understand either how people can be such jerks.

I have been attacked by such groups. The most recent incident, as well as the most shocking one, was when I was walking out on the street, minding my own business, when a car drove by, slowed down and a passenger sprayed something yucky all over me, and then all of them laughed a lot and they drove away, feeling great about what they had just done.



SIXLUCY
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20 Jul 2008, 6:30 pm

Your right people just try to stand over people for their own motivations. Theyre just a***holes to stupid to know any better but you know what goes around comes around.. one day they try and stand over the wrong person and then whose the goose then...?



Aurore
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20 Jul 2008, 6:34 pm

SIXLUCY wrote:
Your right people just try to stand over people for their own motivations. Theyre just a***holes to stupid to know any better but you know what goes around comes around.. one day they try and stand over the wrong person and then whose the goose then...?


I love your posts, they make us feel badass : )


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SIXLUCY
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20 Jul 2008, 6:42 pm

Thanx Aurore

I loved your poem by the way - was that your own or lyrics..?



Aalto
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20 Jul 2008, 6:47 pm

Oh lor'. Not again.

Yes, people like this are absurd, cretinous lunatics, but it seems that lo, once again, they've been put under the umbrella of "NTs in general".

Which they aren't.

They're just an antisocial minority that can be diminished in numbers if we all do what's best.



Kauf039
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20 Jul 2008, 6:47 pm

Lol at Aurore, yeah, her posts do have that tendancy, don't they. :D *Bows to SIXLUCY*

Anyway, the reason I ask all of a sudden is that a couple people I work with just did this to a cleaning lady that they walked by... and were bragging about it afterwards. I had always thought that these were relatively nice people, always treated me well, and this just came from nowhere... although I've been told that I'm quite naive and tend to think the best of people until they bash me over the head with proof otherwise. They spend hours here taking abuse from others over the phone in thier jobs, complain about it, then turn around and do awful things to another who is simply trying to do her job. And at work to boot!?! I honestly do not know how to react to this. I have to work with these people every day, but now when I look at them, this is the only thing I can think of and it sickens me. I thought maybe at least understanding thier perspective might help ease the disgust... but I fear I may never understand. Ah well.


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Aurore
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20 Jul 2008, 7:07 pm

SIXLUCY wrote:
Thanx Aurore

I loved your poem by the way - was that your own or lyrics..?


Thanx : ) One of my own. I'm glad you liked it!


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Rainbow-Squirrel
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20 Jul 2008, 7:08 pm

(Sense of) power, control, self-esteem, etc...



anbuend
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20 Jul 2008, 7:10 pm

I used to just cry incessantly trying to figure out why some people are so pointlessly cruel. (Like not even doing something in anger or something -- I can understand that even if it's still not right, it happens to most people -- just cold-bloodedly cruel.)

I don't now (except, sometimes, when I'm the target), but it still baffles me, and not in a good way. Just why?


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Awesomelyglorious
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20 Jul 2008, 7:16 pm

Basically, there is a thrill to have power, control over others, a sense of superiority and sense of pride. Not only that, there is even a German term for joy at the misery of others called schaudenfreude. I would really say that this desire is a deep-seated one, and even perhaps suggest that the reason you do not understand it is either due to AS, or a greater sympathy with the wounded rather than the wounders.



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20 Jul 2008, 8:10 pm

Wow...I appear to have a lack of empathy for sadist...is that a cure for my disability...(lets hope not).

This kind of behavior is why I assumed I was not human as a child. It is also what made me suicidal, even though it was not directed at me or happened a 1,000 years ago or to animals...it all felt like someone was sticking a fork in my eye and twisting it...it just plain hurts. When I have observed similar behavior in animals, though less sadistic then humans, it appear based on pack "bonding" and reinforcing hierarchies. It is evident that we have not moved much past our ainimal traits and the moredifficult the environment...the faster the "social mask" slips and the monster is revealed.

I have come to the conclussion that humans are insane and I just try and avoid them as much as possible. There is a method to their "madness but it is madness all the same.


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20 Jul 2008, 8:55 pm

Vulnerability seems to attrract cruelty in an opposites attract way. That's why people (NTs) go to so much trouble to avoid being seen as vulnerable. They go around fully armoured at all times, with a 'clan' of witnesses. I think in the examples given the victim was alone, relatively.



dtoxic
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20 Jul 2008, 11:31 pm

This is just the alpha game...power, hierarchies of social structure. I understand the basic principle but feel the same revulsion as most of you for this stuff. It stopped surprising me a long time ago, just makes me weary.
Harassment of pedestrians or bicyclists from a car is straight cowardice. I memorize the plate numbers when this happens to me. If I ever see those cars parked again anywhere, look out.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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20 Jul 2008, 11:32 pm

I don't understand either. I notice it doesn't happen among "friends" as much as it happens between people who don't like each other for some reason, have had a fight over something in the past, or if one of them has a prejiduce of some kind and the one they are harassing is whom they have the prejiduce against.

Sometimes "friends" get that way if one stole the other one's boyfriend or girlfriend, talked behind their back, was dishonest or did something that really hurt the other one, like defame them, that sort of thing.