Do you ever wonder if you said something wrong?

Post Reply New Topic

Sometimes I get an impression I said something wrong.


Today at work I was finishing my shift and the elevator opens and I yell "hold the elevator." The room attendant in it didn't hold it so I had to wait for the next one. I said right after the doors closed, "She must not understand my language" when I meant to say "She must not have understood me," but the wrong words just came out. I do that quite often.
The other room attendant in the linen closet said "Ah!" I don't know how to spell the word but but it is not the "Ah" you think it is. Then I wondered if I said something wrong. I wondered because my boyfriend used to use that explanation all the time when we first met whenever I said something inappropriate and I would always wonder "What did I do wrong?" He said most people wouldn't say this or say that but he knows I am not doing it to be rude. So I knew I said something inappropriate then.

I am not sure of course if the room attendant used that explanation because of what I said or it was just a coincidence and maybe she was saying it to herself.

People get upset with me for saying the wrong stuff. I just clarify to them what I meant and if they cant get over it, well it's thier problem.

If I had to take a guess, I'd guess that the person might have been offended because, it might be considered rude (racist, maybe classist, something or other) to assume someone doesn't understand English.

In an old ANI newsletter, I once read a story by someone whose word-autopilot took a drastically bad turn one day, and said something completely racist (something like "I think black people are fine, everyone should own one" -- something she'd heard someone bigoted say, and repeated verbatim). No amount of explaining undid the damage, because most people don't run on echolalic autopilot like that.

I've found when people are mad at me for saying something in the wrong way, they rarely understand the way my mind puts together words in the wrong way sometimes. They seem to want to be mad and therefore don't want to hear that I really meant something entirely different. Plus often those things are taken as a "Freudian slip" revealing your unconscious feelings about something.

The one I remember the most was also racist, it was when I said something about "before people arrived in America" when I meant before Europeans arrived in America. It wasn't that I thought Europeans were the only people, or were more people than Indians, or something, and it wasn't even that I unconsciously thought that. It was one of those situations when I was having trouble talking and was casting around for a word and "people" popped out before "Europeans" or "white people" or something did. But try explaining that when you're already tongue-tied.

If I had to guess, I'd say I do this on average of once a day. Most times I'm not even aware I've done it because I don't pick up on the other person's' response. But sometimes I can tell when I've done it based on a weird response.

If I were writing the DSM for autism spectrum, this would be one of the diagnostic criteria. I think it sums up, in a way others, even NT psychiatrists can see and hear, just how we fail at social functioning. There is so much involved in communication. And as anbuend points out, echolalia can be a problem.

In an earlier, similar thread on this forum, I wrote about how I had picked up the use of the slang word "Dude" from my teenagers, and used it inappropriately at work, once. I couldn't believe it when people here attacked me for using that word! I still shake my head at the memory of being judged by others on the spectrum for doing something they likely do as well.

Y es, just now on another forum ummm... uh oh based on there reactions they were talking about asperger calling it burgers and they couldn't believe I didn't catch it...

Yes, all the time I worry about saying the wrong things and I do. I have hurt people by saying the wrong things. I just re say it.

Oh lord, I just said I was an idiot trying to imply I knew what they were saying and they took it literally, help?

I do this on a regular basis. The really sad part is that I don't talk to many in RL at all (maybe 1-4 people, all close) and I can shut down a whole conversation in a chat room by analyzing something "out loud" when someone asks me what is going on, or by posting correct information about a topic when someone is trying to act superior and doesn't know what they are talking about.

Do people just ask things just because they want to look nice? ...and do others just not want to know the truth about what they are talking about so they don't look stupid later on?

I always worry about everything I say...try to keep my mouth shut. I also often have situations like yours, where it seems people just do not respond to the fact that I have spoken...just happened this morning...makes me not want to speak to others at all if I am going to get the response of speaking to a wall. People often do not understand my language, whether they speak it or not. I also do not understand theirs.

Yeah I wonder quite often, I think that I have unintentionaly realy hurt people before, and that makes me feel realy sad

I do it, all the time... check my other posts... I make very rude statements without knowing that I am hurting people, and when I try to fix... becomes a real mess... I'm some kind of T.Rex...

No.

I don't wonder about it, I actually have, both IRL and on message boards. Sometimes I'll be having a conversation with my mom and I'll make a seemingly harmless joke which she'll take offense to, or when I express a different opinion than her's, she'll say that I didn't listen to what she said and that I need to learn to listen. Well yes I did listen! There's a difference between not listening to someone and listening to them and forming a different opinion from them.

And it's not said directly to me at work, but I get the feeling my managers think I'm either being disrespectful, not wanting to do the work, making excuses at times. For example when I do simple things like ask them when a certain task, break, or change in task is going to be, they get very condescending, when all I want to know is simply when these things are going to start and end. Also sometimes when a manager asks me why something didn't get done perfectly or isn't done yet, there are times when either I wasn't the person who did that task in the first place and when I tell the manager she gives me this attitude like she thinks I'm "passing the buck", or if I did do the task, I give them the honest answer, such as I had to help customers, or someone else gave me another task to finish first, and she gives me attitude as if I gave the wrong answer. Well if I can't give you the honest answer, what is the right one???

I also used to post at a Yankees message board a few years ago, and there was a game where we gave up several runs in an inning, and when I made a comment about finally getting out of the inning when it was over, the moderator reprimanded me for "player bashing", which was against the site's rules. I don't have the slightest idea how a general statement of frustration can be construed as "player bashing". Needless to say I haven't posted there since.

Yes, I often make remarks that others find inappropriate. It's never my intention though!

One of the worst things I find is when I am having a conversation with someone and I get afraid that if I say the other side of the debate I will upset them. I have done it enough times to know that people often think less of you when you try to point out a view that is the oppisite of theres. I don't know if people like only theres to be the truth and that if you are not eith them you are against them, they don't seem to think that you need to look at both sides.

whenever i don't get the expected response i wonder if i said something wrong. sometimes it's just something i found funny and they don't laugh so i figure they didn't find it funny, but other times it's just something i really didn't expect, and i can't figure out why.