Embarrasment

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Was just reading this piece.

http://psychcentral.com/news/2011/04/17 ... 25399.html

I was wondering if this might be a common autistic trait too.

Try saying that quickly three times.

This could certainly be said to be true of me!

On the other hand, things that don't embarrass others sometimes do embarrass me.

I guess I'm just the other way round.

I was gonna reply back and say that I feel embarrassment just fine, but then I can't think of any specific examples. I'll have to get back to you on this one.

I can tell you that it probably doesn't kick in as a response all that often, though. I generally don't feel ashamed of my actions and I'm not afraid to make a fool of myself.

It is a good question. When I was a school kid I had problems knowing what was acceptable and not acceptable and sometimes said or did things that others found very embarrassing; however, I found some things embarrassing that others did not. Quite a mixed up response.

However, a life lesson I've picked up is to generally avoid talking about sex, bodily functions, religion and death because a lot of people have problems with those topics and it can embarrass them or make them agitated or angry. So generally not a good idea to tell strangers the joke about the pope having sex with a dead donkey.

I can feel embarrassed occasionally but those feelings of embarrassment don't really take hold or last for long...they are fleeting. It's kind of 'oops....ah who cares'. I am hard to embarrass as people get embarrassed over the strangest things...like natural bodily functions for example. Errr its natural what's to be embarrassed about? I once broke the sound barrier when someone put their weight on my abdomen during sex but hey...it happens sometimes lol.

Others may get embarrassed over walking into a lamp-post in front of a bus queue full of people or knocking over a cup of coffee...I regularly do both those things. I find the first funny and in the case of the second I am kind enough to warn people not to wear white if they are meeting me for a drink. I am considerate that way...

They also get embarrassed about talking about things like depression..errr why?

People are very strange!

I feel embarrassment at a lot of things, but I tend to bounce back and stop caring rather quickly. I've learned to put my blinders on and simply stop thinking about it, because then it might make me feel bad enough to screw with the rest of my day. Later I may think back on it and cringe inwardly to myself, but other than that... I think I'm a lot more laid back than other people. I grew up with a very open family who isn't afraid to talk about bodily functions, ect. and in fact make jokes of it. I've come to understand that most people become alienated if I talk to much about that or depression, or my own life situation. Keepin' the good talk for my brother.

After thinking about it, I'm not really sure I know what the feeling of embarrassment is.
I'm sure I've felt it, but I have also noticed plenty of times where others have been embarrassed for what seemed like a silly reason to me. Still, I do regulate my behavior in public to avoid unwanted attention. But is that embarrassment? Or is that just a reasoned response?

Maybe someone with more knowledge in psychology can answer this, but my feeling is that we aren't born with that particular emotion hard wired in our brains and this it is something learned from our parents and culture. What is embarrassing in one culture isn't embarrassing in another. It seems to centre around breaking rules associated with normal behaviour within that culture.

I said "never". I don't actually never ever get embarrassed, but I very, very rarely do.

There's another thread about perseverating over mistakes and social faux pas. Isn't that at least in some way because they (we) feel embarrassed? I often feel embarrassed about having said something wrong, usually unintentionally insulting. And sometimes I feel self conscious, which I also think is a kind of embarrassment.

I don't get embarrassed often that would embarrass others. I often read trauma rama stuff in the Seventeen and I don't see why it be so embarrassing, same as when I used to read that stuff in the Teen mag too. I also don't understand what's there to be embarrassed about if it's normal and common. As a kid like in 6th grade I can understand why it be so embarrassing to have a bloody accident because how many kids that age get their periods? Back then I didn't want anyone to know but once pretty much everyone my age got it, it was no longer embarrassing.


But there are things I am embarrassed about so I don't discuss it. Some of them are just guilty pleasures or things I am ashamed of because I am afraid of judgments or what people would think. I assume those are embarrassments too if I am so worried if I am going to get back stabbed or judged or think I'm stupid or get the "I told you so." Or afraid people won't take me as seriously or value what I say as much because of what happened.

I remember the time I got arrested just because some store owner thought I shop lifted. I was so embarrassed (Humiliated I would say because I didn't want to show my face in town nor come to school) because it was a small town and I feared someone would see me and spread it and then everyone would know about it and my life would never be the same. I thought everyone would think I was a thief and not trust me and everyone would not respect me anymore and I would get crap for it. But I no longer felt embarrassed by it when everyone believed me and thought the officers were dumb and the store owner. Instead I got teased for it like "You got pulled over" and getting comments like "I heard you got pulled over." I also remember kids saying "it does look like a parking lot" because I was on the wrong side of the road because I thought it was a parking lot. The road between the gas station and the supermarket looks like a parking lot because there are no curbs so anyone can think it's part of the parking lot and I thought it was all in the same lot. My parents thought so too until we moved there. It took me until I got my license to learn so too. Now when I see it has a street sign or a stop sign, I assume it must be a street.

There have been things I have shared and it didn't turn out well so I've never shared it again with anyone. Not even on forums.

I tend to perseverate over social mistakes (sometimes for years) after someone else tells me I managed to screw up badly. I do feel embarrassed when it is explained to me how I have made a mistake, depending on the mistake and how problematic it was.

Of course, I need to also believe that the mistake was a mistake and that the person who said it isn't just trying to shift blame or project or whatever, If I don't believe it, I tend to perseverate on how people are trying to screw with my perceptions of reality.

I'm not easily embarrassed by the small things that would embarrass the average person.

I get embarrassed because I'm pretty aware that I don't know how to do stuff that comes very naturally for most people. It's as if "I know that I don't know". That causes me both performance anxiety and GAD.

It's not just with things that would embarrass normal people, for me I just don't feel embarrassment. I could go out nude and not care. However it would be a little chilly...