New here....Hello, and could use a little help.

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Hiya...I've just been diagnosed with aspergers and am 16, and I have a MILLION questions and doubts. I'd appreciate a little help. ^_^

Ok, firstly, my IQ has been tested twice, governmentally. First time I got 132, second was a WISC which showed 126. A lot of my idiosyncrasies are consistent with AS, but a lot aren't, and I still doubt the diagnosis.

My diction is incredibly pedantic, and I focus intensely on detail. I play "video" games to the exclusion of all else, and I go through "trends", in which one song/game/friend/etc I expose myself to EXTREMELY, and then I just sort of....stop. I can't explain it. Does that sound like AS?

On the flip side, I'm NOT socially inept. Now, I'm not "popular", but i'm not an outcast. I have a CRAPTON of "friends", and a small group of true, close friends. I don't like eye contact (symptom), but only because I feel DISSECTED during eye contact.

My questions:

My LIFE GOAL is to have a family of my own, and be what NOONE ELSE is- a true Father/husband/etc. I grew up in an abusive house >.>

BUT

I've never had a "girlfriend", persay. I CONSTANTLY hear people telling me how polite/sweet/intelligent/strong/tall/handsome/etc I am, and SOMETIMES that I is teh "cute".

And yet never has a single person "liked" me, persay.

I don't get it.

But regardless, my worry is that I may be subconsciously seeking this end for contentment, but what if I finally end up with a family and I "phase out" like some of my "trends" do....what if I just "stop caring"?

Got a few more questions, but GTG right now, so I'll be back on later.

Thank you VERY MUCH for your time, consideration, and aid ^_^

Sounds like you've got the special-interests part of it, and a bit of communication oddity, but not much else. So... Spectrum cousin, I'd say. Some AS traits. The bits about being very detail-oriented and speaking in a pedantic manner is rather Aspieish, too. (The IQ is irrelevant, as it's over 80.) This is assuming you're doing a good self-evaluation. Have you tried asking friends whether you have certain characteristics? A view from the "outside" can be useful. If it turns out your AS traits are stronger than you think they are, you may be diagnosable. (Whether you want an official diagnosis is another story.)

If you're under about 18, not having had a GF isn't entirely out of the ordinary. If you're over that, and just don't commit easily or tend to be a late bloomer, it's not unknown either. Many people don't marry 'til their thirties, and raise families after that; it's becoming more common to wait until after you're financially secure and well-established at your career to have kids.

One thing that makes you rather lucky: You don't seem to have a lot of social anxiety. For many Aspies, the social anxiety (which is technically not part of AS, but a separate problem that comes with it very often) is the worst part of it. I often think that if we could be confident and generally accepted in society, then almost nobody would hate having AS.

Last edited by Callista on 14 Feb 2009, 8:50 pm, edited 3 times in total.

well i guess a lot of 'girlfriends' will be looking for a provider so even though you're only 16, it might be a good idea to start looking at potential careers. in some cases people read us as 'hopeless' in terms of money earning potential and that can be a factor in repelling potential mates.

self employment is often the best way for aspies to go.

welcome to the site.

well, at 126/132, you're smarter than the average bear...

Could be. Stick around and see if you fit in. If you keep seeing yourself as others see us...you might be AS.

Welcome to Wrong Planet, Seox. Your self-description does have some aspie traits, definitely.

Seox,

YEP! As for the "crapton" of friends, I guess it depends. You DO have some interests that could at least create a following. I once had some games nobody else did, and my bedroom got HOT because of all the people standing around. When I was a kid, few had decent games outside of some lucky people. I wasn't that good with such games but, if I were, I would probably have more "friends".

Just out of curiousity, what is your native language? What country are you from?

Why do you ask? USA/English.

Well, I certainly do feel welcomed. Thanks, everyone- ima post a bit more often soon!

^_^