Strange reactions to trauma

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Hi everyone.

I'm AS and I also to some extent have PTSD (well, at least I had PTSD). I was wondering if anyone else had reactions to trauma that other people considered unusual or socially unacceptable.

For example, I was the victim of a brutal sexual assault a few years ago. At first I couldn't even think about it without having a flashback, curling up, sobbing, etc. But I laugh at jokes about that kind of thing now, in fact they actually make me feel better about what happened to me.

Because of this, people often refuse to believe me when I tell them about the trauma. People already sometimes think I'm lying to them simply because of my problems with eye contact (which I feel is exceptionally intimate, and I only share with family members and a few very close friends who might as well be family themselves).

I was wondering if my reaction was maybe due to AS, as in, my emotional memory is weaker than the other parts of my memory. Does anyone here have blunted emotional memory, or, if not, unusual responses to horrible personal trauma?

Dark humour, if that's what you're talking about, is actually pretty normal and healthy. It's just a way of putting things into perspective. You are supposed to recover and move on, after all. So why shouldn't you?

Thanks. That's what I was trying to do, but then people always assume that by my gallows humor I'm insensitive to the problem in others.

I'm not certain if my responses to a traumatic incident could be considered unusual or exceptional.
However, after a particular incident in my life, I did not smile for a year and a half. I also could not listen to practically any music with lyrics without becoming extremely depressed. I was also even less capable of effectively managing my life, and my standard of living declined significantly. I actually lived in my car for a number of months.
Although I never sought therapy or diagnosis for that incident, I believe it was a case of PTSD. I have never been able to laugh or joke about this event, even after an interim of thirty years.

My responses to trauma are a continuous whining about what has happened to me. Certain things trigger this response. One of my major triggers is rejection. That starts the whining and carrying on about how horrible my life was/is. I don't know if this means I haven't recovered and still have lots of issues?
Oh well.

As for the dark humor, I have that at times too and people think I am just weird, selfish, insensitive, uncaring, whatever label they can put on me that is negative and they can push me away with.

I have often wished I could either have my memory erased or have electro shock therapy (I heard that can cause memory loss) or develop amnesia for some reason just so I can put the wretched past behind me and keep going on like the machines we are all expected to be.

Perhaps it is to do with the autistic way our minds are wired up? Laughing at dark things is an AS thing.. perhaps it means that your mind has disassociated from a bad event so efficiently that you laugh at it. I know my mind works this way.

I know I have poor emotional memory most of the time. I can't usually recall something and feel the same way I did at the time, I just recall it without emotion. But a few memories do still carry emotion, so it isn't all the time.

Yup, I read that. It's pretty basic, but it explains things decently.

I often smile or joke when I discuss my history of child abuse. I've gotten over that to a great degree, though I'm still quite angered by the fact that it still goes on, every day... I am a lot more optimistic about the prospects of a child with an abusive parent than most people are, though; I guess that's because I know I survived it, and that means that there's a good chance that others will survive, too. The older you are when it starts, the better the outcome... I was nine; I'd had a good while to grow before I got thrown to the sharks, so I ended up recovering pretty quickly after I got out of the house!

I don't think I've ever been fully "traumatized." but typically I just go with the "repress-and-release-via-art" formula. I'm not a fan of telling people about my problems often, so typically I just kind of drop off the face of the earth for a while.

And yeah, I do the kind of strange joking that makes you wonder if the person is upset or not as well... I'm noticing a trend towards relatively strange humor, but if it helps us, who cares, right?

Between suicide attempts and being arrested for committing a crime that I did not understand was illegal or criminal (computer fraud) at the time, I've had my share of trauma. It's certainly puzzling and confusing during the incident, but in retrospect, I find lots of dark humor and am able to put it into greater context.

im fairly similar in that ^^; but luckily almost all of my friends - especially my close friends and boyfriend - share my dark humor we have lots of lols, so it makes it better than worrying about what a stranger thinks. in fact, i kind of enjoy pushing strangers away with a bit of dark humor, it shows whether or not me and that stranger could get along as friends or not. hey, whoever sticks around is worth lol'ing with :3

i was also attacked eight months ago in my apartment. i had to move out immediately due to the entire atmosphere being a trigger; i couldn't sleep in my own bed and i replaced it as soon as i could. i wouldn't leave the house at night and i would lock my during the day. i had terrible nightmares and flashbacks as well.

i, too, have been accused of "making it up"; even though i suffered a fractured collarbone, was severely bruised and needed stitches.

so, no i do not think it has anything to do with AS. it has to do with your personal space being violated. i think it has to do with a lack of respect for women and/or women using it as leverage in domestic situations. this does not mean that every woman lies about being raped. not every woman who is raped comes forward.

however, we tend to absorb more emotional damage because essentially, we are walking around in the dark and only able to deal with what we've learned through our night vision. it shouldn't be any wonder that we are blindsided when it comes to traumatic experiences.