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Mysty
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05 Aug 2008, 7:16 am

The book I'm currently reading says something really cool. It's addressed at the non-autistic trying to understand autism.

Quote:
Our challenge is not so much with the autistic perception and behavior itself. The real problem lies within our own rigid confines of normalcy. Autistic people exibit rigid, obsessive behavior patterns. But normal people are just as rigid and obsessive about being normal! A major theme of this book is that we are all autistic to one extent or another because we all have computer thinking built into our perception. Sociologically speaking, there is a cult of normalcy that is just as rigid and obsessive about its behavior patterns as any autistic person.

(The book talks about social thinking and computer thinking, and says people on the autistic spectrum have higher computer thinking than social thinking.)

The book is How to Understand Autism -- The Easy Way by Alex Durig.



donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 9:35 am

interesting quote..the authour defines normal as not being AS?
nor mal for me is AS, burn the book and learn self awareness.



Mysty
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05 Aug 2008, 9:51 am

Normal in the book is what's typical of most people. Not even something the book has to define. The context makes it clear. And normalcy would be the regular typical social norms. That's why they call them norms I guess. :) (Actually, looking at the word origins, the word norms comes first.)

Of course, for the best understanding, read the book. It's really a quite interesting book.

I like that observation that NTs are just as obsessive as autistics, they're just obsessive about being normal. Me, I gave up trying to be normal in jr. high. :)



corroonb
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05 Aug 2008, 9:57 am

I used to be obsessive about being normal to the extent that I would copy the behaviours of NTs. I've since stopped this and although I can pass as NT, I'd rather not.

The books sounds interesting.

BTW the Nazis burned books and look what happened there. If you disagree with something, act like a mature person and move along.



donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 10:17 am

corroonb wrote:

BTW the Nazis burned books and look what happened there. If you disagree with something, act like a mature person and move along.


i do disagree with anyone who defines non-AS behaviour as "normal" it re-defines AS as being abnormal.
sometimes if you disagree with somethign you need to speak out less you accept a label of abnormal.
perhaps you have done this and want to "fit in" normal for me is AS.
Normal for you has yet to be defined or understood. herein lies the problem.



corroonb
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05 Aug 2008, 10:28 am

donkey wrote:
corroonb wrote:

BTW the Nazis burned books and look what happened there. If you disagree with something, act like a mature person and move along.


i do disagree with anyone who defines non-AS behaviour as "normal" it re-defines AS as being abnormal.
sometimes if you disagree with somethign you need to speak out less you accept a label of abnormal.
perhaps you have done this and want to "fit in" normal for me is AS.
Normal for you has yet to be defined or understood. herein lies the problem.


Speaking out against something is not the same as advocating burning of books. I believe books are inherently special because of the knowledge they contain and burning books is a terrible crime to me. Whatever the books contain.

Autistic behaviour is not normal which is why it is called autistic behaviour and not normal behaviour. If over 50% of people were autistic, then you would have a point but I think you already know that this isn't the case. Normal does not always imply something desirable, it merely means that more people behave this way (NT) than in an autistic way. I personally think that autistic behaviour is preferable to neurotypical behaviour but I am well aware that I live in a neurotypical world and must learn to deal fairly with those who behave (and think) in a different way to myself. Normal is a largely useless subjective term if you subject it to intense scrutiny but it has an easily comprehensible common meaning.



tomboy4good
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05 Aug 2008, 10:32 am

Not really sure what normal is, since I've never experienced it personally. I know I will never fit in with the general population, & basically I strive to get by in a world where I will always be on the outside. I don't need a book to define what I am, however, it's nice to know there's a name for my behavior. I don't obsess about something I can't change. Others around me have obsessed over my behavior & trying to change me into something I wasn't. I do my best to avoid those who go out of their way to mold me into their image.


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donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 10:36 am

corroonb wrote:
donkey wrote:
corroonb wrote:

BTW the Nazis burned books and look what happened there. If you disagree with something, act like a mature person and move along.


i do disagree with anyone who defines non-AS behaviour as "normal" it re-defines AS as being abnormal.
sometimes if you disagree with somethign you need to speak out less you accept a label of abnormal.
perhaps you have done this and want to "fit in" normal for me is AS.
Normal for you has yet to be defined or understood. herein lies the problem.


Speaking out against something is not the same as advocating burning of books. I believe books are inherently special because of the knowledge they contain and burning books is a terrible crime to me. Whatever the books contain.

Autistic behaviour is not normal which is why it is called autistic behaviour and not normal behaviour. If over 50% of people were autistic, then you would have a point but I think you already know that this isn't the case. Normal does not always imply something desirable, it merely means that more people behave this way (NT) than in an autistic way. I personally think that autistic behaviour is preferable to neurotypical behaviour but I am well aware that I live in a neurotypical world and must learn to deal fairly with those who behave (and think) in a different way to myself. Normal is a largely useless subjective term if you subject it to intense scrutiny but it has an easily comprehensible common meaning.



burn the book was said, but also learn self awareness. perhaps with your AS interpetation taking over and literallness finding meaning in everything you missed the point. books do contain a lot of knowledge but there is no substitute for self awareness which cannot be taught, read or learned. it must be understood.
again you are either getting literal with the meaning due to the As or chosing to do the same and missing the point.

Autistic behaviour is normal.....for autistic people. there is no percentage terms to be compared here, it is a fact.
once you accept that this is normal for you. it is then easier to "act" non-AS and fit in. but it is a healthier way to approach it as it doesnt make you think there is anythign wrong with you. which a lot of As people have real issues and identify with.

perhaps it isnt something that you can read, dissect and digest.... pick apart and appear to know what your talking about you just need to "get it"



corroonb
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05 Aug 2008, 10:49 am

donkey wrote:
corroonb wrote:
donkey wrote:
corroonb wrote:

BTW the Nazis burned books and look what happened there. If you disagree with something, act like a mature person and move along.


i do disagree with anyone who defines non-AS behaviour as "normal" it re-defines AS as being abnormal.
sometimes if you disagree with somethign you need to speak out less you accept a label of abnormal.
perhaps you have done this and want to "fit in" normal for me is AS.
Normal for you has yet to be defined or understood. herein lies the problem.


Speaking out against something is not the same as advocating burning of books. I believe books are inherently special because of the knowledge they contain and burning books is a terrible crime to me. Whatever the books contain.

Autistic behaviour is not normal which is why it is called autistic behaviour and not normal behaviour. If over 50% of people were autistic, then you would have a point but I think you already know that this isn't the case. Normal does not always imply something desirable, it merely means that more people behave this way (NT) than in an autistic way. I personally think that autistic behaviour is preferable to neurotypical behaviour but I am well aware that I live in a neurotypical world and must learn to deal fairly with those who behave (and think) in a different way to myself. Normal is a largely useless subjective term if you subject it to intense scrutiny but it has an easily comprehensible common meaning.



burn the book was said, but also learn self awareness. perhaps with your AS interpetation taking over and literallness finding meaning in everything you missed the point. books do contain a lot of knowledge but there is no substitute for self awareness which cannot be taught, read or learned. it must be understood.
again you are either getting literal with the meaning due to the As or chosing to do the same and missing the point.

Autistic behaviour is normal.....for autistic people. there is no percentage terms to be compared here, it is a fact.
once you accept that this is normal for you. it is then easier to "act" non-AS and fit in. but it is a healthier way to approach it as it doesnt make you think there is anythign wrong with you. which a lot of As people have real issues and identify with.

perhaps it isnt something that you can read, dissect and digest.... pick apart and appear to know what your talking about you just need to "get it"


Of course autistic behaviour is normal for autistic people but its not normal for the vast majority of humans. As a species most humans behave in a certain "normal" way. Deviations from this concept of normalcy are usually know as "disorders" or "mental illnesses". While I disagree with the rather insulting tone of the terminology, the people who created these ideas are not intentionally malicious or cruel. We are different, hence the title of this website ; "Wrong Planet" not "Our Planet".

I apologise if I still don't understand your point but I no longer wish to discuss this.



donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 10:55 am

ok my apologies...peace man.



Mysty
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05 Aug 2008, 11:01 am

Can we get back on topic here?

This thread is NOT about what "normal" means. Start a new thread if you want to talk about that.

The author of the book I quote is advocating understanding folks with autism. That's what the book is about. And I indicated that in my post with my introductory line and with giving the title of the book.

Yeah, in saying NTs are obsessive too (the point of my post) he uses the words normal and normalcy. But not in a judgemental way. Simply because they are good words to use to convey his idea. And the idea is that NTs and autistic people aren't so different as they seem, and that NTs have their own obsessiveness.

He's saying, in effect, to NTs (as we call them here), "You see autistic folks as rigid obsessive, but you are too are rigid and obsessive -- you are rigid and obsessive about being normal".

P.S. (edited to add) I see that as I was posting the side discussion came to a close, at least with the two main particpants.



corroonb
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05 Aug 2008, 11:21 am

I think its an interesting idea and I apologise for my part in the tangent.

People always want to appear normal because if they don't, then they will suffer for their unconventional ways. Aspies also want to appear normal for the same reason and some of us are obsessed with social rules because of this. The difference is that a lot of this kind of "fitting in" comes naturally to most "neurotypicals" but not to most autistics I think (certainly not me). I have to consciously learn what to do and how to behave by observing others and copying them. I have no intuition for socialising at all. I'm aware that all of us auties or aspies are unique individuals and we fit in with varying degrees of success. My failure to be diagnosed before I was 23 perhaps indicates that I was better or more determined than some others at simulating the normal behaviour of those around me. However I have recently given up on this pantomime because it made me feel depressed and "inauthentic".

Simply put, I think most aspies are consciously rigid and most NTs are sub-consciously (or automatically) rigid.

I hope this isn't off topic. I have a tendency to talk about myself a lot too.



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05 Aug 2008, 12:40 pm

corroonb wrote:
Simply put, I think most aspies are consciously rigid and most NTs are sub-consciously (or automatically) rigid.


Yes; to me, rigidity is just another tool to define the world I can move in. For example, when I have my things in one place and nowhere else, it's more likely that I find them. Other things can be perceived as rigidities, but actually they're sensory overload prevention techniques. And strict moral rules help prevent me getting violent (thus getting jailed).
But for NTs it's just "what will other people think of me" or "that's disgusting" or things like that which I cannot comprehend.


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donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 1:06 pm

ok sorry about the deviation from the post thread.
nt's are rigid and AS are rigid, so in this respect we are the same?
i dont think so......it is the consequences of the rigidity and how this affects AS that is important.
NT like to manipulate and connect in most situations, this behaviour designed to alter an outcome of any event. similar to AS.
where AS like to control events and outcomes to feel safe we insist on sameness, the consequences of a forced flexibile approach to an event can be disasterous. NT's seem to be more flexible and less rigid in the expectation sof an outcome. AS want the same usually every time. we get upset when the sameness isnt there.



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05 Aug 2008, 4:02 pm

People like to predict the things that are around them. Aspies and NTs are all people. Obvious, no?


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donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 4:17 pm

well...no, not obvious in my opinion.
people with AS will predict , with greater accuracy than non As people the outcome of any given event provided the conditions are and remain the same. we like sameness, and can make inferences based on what we have seen and experienced and what we expect to see. Alternatively........non-As people will predict outcomes of events with changing conditions with better accuracy than AS. This is, in my opinion a bayesian statistical approach to predicting outcomes to events and a mathematical model to explain same.