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saramago
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04 Aug 2008, 10:46 pm

This one is directed at those that are over 30s. Did you manage to be successful, ie, do you have a beautiful wife/husband, an high paying job, a nice house, a fast car, 2 beautiful kids? Or you didn't manage to evolute in any job you had, you never get a girl/guy because of asperger's?

With this topic i want to know this: Can an aspie be "successful" in this modern world?



makuranososhi
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04 Aug 2008, 11:43 pm

saramago wrote:
This one is directed at those that are over 30s. Did you manage to be successful, ie, do you have a beautiful wife/husband, an high paying job, a nice house, a fast car, 2 beautiful kids? Or you didn't manage to evolute in any job you had, you never get a girl/guy because of asperger's?

With this topic i want to know this: Can an aspie be "successful" in this modern world?


31

Not married, a son that I've never seen, and no high-paying job. I've had a wide spectrum of jobs (teaching, training, even sales) and found myself successful in all of them, although the most in teaching... but most end up making me so tense/stressed/miserable that it is impossible to continue for more than a couple years. But I own two businesses, and manage to survive. At the end of the day, I'm able to make music. I live in a quiet area, and have people that I care about albeit distant from me. I've had relationships, was even engaged for a couple years, but all had their issues - now that I know about AS, I think there are things I could approach differently. Am I successful? Depends on whose metric is used... but I'm heading on my path, finding happiness along the way, and I think that in the long view, I am successful.


M.


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JWRed
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04 Aug 2008, 11:51 pm

37.

Crash and burn.



PilotPirx
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05 Aug 2008, 4:02 am

36, have a good paying job as programmer. Living in Amsterdam, which is a wonderful place to live.
No wife, no kids. And wouldn't want to, so I don't miss it.
I could get higher paying jobs, but would have to work in other places or in larger companies. I avoid this and prefer what I do right now.
Private life is a mess most of the time from an outside view. But ok for me.
Had several good looking girl friends over the time, but nothing came out of it. But funny thing: When I was in my twenties, all this relationship business had somehow to be something for the future, always with that family thing in mind. The women I meet now, are mostly singles with kids and a job of their own, so they don't need to found a family anymore.

I think you can be successful in the job world if you find a job where you can use your special abilities.


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donkey
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05 Aug 2008, 5:36 am

im 37, i am a veterinarian. so it is a moderately high paid job.
I am back at university studying a masters.
I am getting married in 3 weeks to an attractive woman.
i have a son who is 6 and is also AS.
I own my own home and have a crappy car by choice ( as i do many miles and it gets kicked by cattle a lot)
Am i successfull?
my manta is: it is not how you start...it is how you finish, and the race is never over.



2ukenkerl
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05 Aug 2008, 5:41 am

saramago wrote:
This one is directed at those that are over 30s. Did you manage to be successful, ie, do you have a beautiful wife/husband, an high paying job, a nice house, a fast car, 2 beautiful kids? Or you didn't manage to evolute in any job you had, you never get a girl/guy because of asperger's?

With this topic i want to know this: Can an aspie be "successful" in this modern world?


ok,no,pretty much,ok,ok,no.

What I WANTED

yep,yep,yep,ok,yep!

So about 4 out of 6, even if not quite to the level I wanted. 8-( Of course, it IS hard to get kids without a nice spouse, and there IS a shortage of them anyway. Maybe my standards are too high anyway.

And a wife, just by being married, would have caused me to take a different path, and other aspects of my life would have been better. Ironically, if I knew about AS, I would ALSO have been better.



Postperson
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05 Aug 2008, 6:18 am

oh it was touch and go there for a while, started out in art school, dropped out, i could've ended up homeless or in a psych ward I suppose, but i didn't. Just got by with part time work in my twenties, got full time work and a degree in my thirties, crashed at about 40. Moved to a cheaper state to get into property ownership, the prices went up a lot so I moved states again to pocket the financial gain. I didn't mind being young and poor but I don't want to be old and poor so I made the effort of long distance moves to achieve financial gains. It worked for me which was lucky since the world of work didn't seem cut out for me. phew. just got there.



MrMark
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05 Aug 2008, 6:33 am

saramago wrote:
This one is directed at those that are over 30s. Did you manage to be successful, ie, do you have a beautiful wife/husband, an high paying job, a nice house, a fast car, 2 beautiful kids? Or you didn't manage to evolute in any job you had, you never get a girl/guy because of asperger's?

With this topic i want to know this: Can an aspie be "successful" in this modern world?

That's how you define sucessful?!

I had a wife. I thought she was beautiful. I have a job. It pays more than I've ever made before. I have a nice house. I rent. My car can do 80 on the interstate and still get 30+ mpg. I have no children, but my wife's son has a son who calls me "Grand Dad."

I think lots of us are "successful," but I don't think it has to do with all that external stuff.


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Zsazsa
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05 Aug 2008, 9:28 am

MrMark wrote:
saramago wrote:
This one is directed at those that are over 30s. Did you manage to be successful, ie, do you have a beautiful wife/husband, an high paying job, a nice house, a fast car, 2 beautiful kids?


That's how you define sucessful?!.


A materialistic life does not define "success." Too many people do not truly know how to "spell" success...

Select your goal
Unlock your negative thinking
Chart your course
Commit yourself
Expect problems and difficulties
Sacrifice yourself
Stick to it!

By far, the most important criteria is the ability to "Stick to it" in achieving anything you value as being worthwhile.



patternist
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05 Aug 2008, 10:09 am

^^ Agree with above.

I have an average house, a wonderful ASD son, a comfortable, reliable car, a decent job, a pretty good-looking ex-husband, and a wonderful, insightful, loving partner who meets all of my important ideals. The thing I would add to the above list is:

BE REALISTIC WITH WHAT YOU WANT
Make sure it is what YOU want, not what someone else wants for you.

My mother wanted me to be married, so I married too fast, in part to please her.

It is possible to be "successful". But make sure you are successful on your own terms.



tomboy4good
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05 Aug 2008, 10:21 am

Interesting thought! I'm not anywhere near where I feel I should be as far as success goes & I am 46.


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mojo123
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05 Aug 2008, 11:20 am

What is Success?


To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
To earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one’s self;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 – 1882)



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05 Aug 2008, 11:32 am

saramago wrote:
This one is directed at those that are over 30s. Did you manage to be successful, ie, do you have a beautiful wife/husband, an high paying job, a nice house, a fast car, 2 beautiful kids? Or you didn't manage to evolute in any job you had, you never get a girl/guy because of asperger's?

With this topic i want to know this: Can an aspie be "successful" in this modern world?

An Aspie can be successful in the modern world. I have a beautiful wife, a high paying job, a nice house, 2 nice cars, and 3 beautiful kids. Although it took a stint in the Navy for me to learn the basic skillset, which is:

Fnord wrote:
"Be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there and doing what you're supposed to be doing. Wear nice clothes, stay out of trouble, and show respect for those placed in authority over you (never embarass them, either). Answer the questions that you are asked as truthfully as you can, and if you have to say 'I don't know' then follow it up with '... but I'll find out for you.' Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes' and your 'No' mean 'No', and never give your word unless you are both willing and able to keep it. Be kind to children, the elderly, and the disabled, but be aware that they may also be distractions set before you to compromise security. Stay alert, trust no one, and keep your clothes and weapons near you when you sleep. Never pass up the chance to take a nap, use the toilet, eat, drink, reload, or look behind you. Always help out a co-worker in trouble, but document everything you do. Finally. if you want to be loved, then be loveable."

That about covers it.



makuranososhi
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05 Aug 2008, 11:39 am

Fnord wrote:
"Be where you're supposed to be when you're supposed to be there and doing what you're supposed to be doing. Wear nice clothes, stay out of trouble, and show respect for those placed in authority over you (never embarass them, either). Answer the questions that you are asked as truthfully as you can, and if you have to say 'I don't know' then follow it up with '... but I'll find out for you.' Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes' and your 'No' mean 'No', and never give your word unless you are both willing and able to keep it. Be kind to children, the elderly, and the disabled, but be aware that they may also be distractions set before you to compromise security. Stay alert, trust no one, and keep your clothes and weapons near you when you sleep. Never pass up the chance to take a nap, use the toilet, eat, drink, reload, or look behind you. Always help out a co-worker in trouble, but document everything you do. Finally. if you want to be loved, then be loveable."


QFT - good words, Fnord.


M.


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For those who seek an alternative, it is coming.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!


Callista
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05 Aug 2008, 2:02 pm

Yeah, I agree. My ideal life would be having a job in the field of science, single, either in an apartment or a condo in a small city, probably active in some non-profit org. I haven't reached it yet; but I'm only 25, and it's a reasonable goal.


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05 Aug 2008, 3:47 pm

mojo123, thank you for the antidote to the OP. Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh ! !! ! 8O


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